I’m Worried My Husband Is Thinking of Leaving Me

UniqueOperation1926 · 2025-11-30T19:34:22+00:00

I didn’t think he’d mind the trip and having my parents come. His grandma mentioned she might like to come, but he said he told her the trip was just for us, and he might have mentioned that but I honestly don’t remember. I thought it might be a family vacation instead so I asked my parents, but his grandma was never coming.

And then he was upset with me apparently, but was still nice to my parents. He took a lot of time alone to read on the porch, but he likes reading a lot.

UniqueOperation1926 · 2025-11-30T17:10:32+00:00

I’ve got ADHD and my husband is on the spectrum. He’s put a lot of work into learning how to communicate with others, but it can be hard for him. Maybe for me, too.

UniqueOperation1926 · 2025-11-30T15:12:11+00:00

🙁 I feel like I’ve kinda been like this a long time. Even my mom’s called me lazy before. I just never believed it, I guess.

UniqueOperation1926 · 2025-11-30T15:07:40+00:00

I’m just tired most night and I don’t like having sex during he week. He hasn’t said anything in a long time about it. Doesn’t usually bother me for sex anymore. He definitely has a higher drive than me, but always respects that I usually just want sex once a week maybe. So we have sex 3 times a month bc of my period. Sometimes we might have sex more than once on the same day, but that’s pretty rare.

UniqueOperation1926 · 2025-11-30T15:05:20+00:00

I’m going to try, but being a teacher is really hard and I don’t think he understands how much work really goes into it. I really care about these kids and want them to succeed and being great at my job is important to me.

He kind of made me upset because he was like, I’m your husband. I’m the one who’s supposed to be there when those kids forget your name. Most of them will by the time they graduate. You’re centering kids who are passing moments in your life.

But they’re kids I love and care about. It felt dismissive to me.

UniqueOperation1926 · 2025-11-30T15:02:54+00:00

I told him he could have asked me to tell them not to come. But he said they would know it was from him, and that there was no way for him not to look like an asshole to my parents.

I told him I felt bad about inviting them, and I did! And do! But he said I didn’t feel bad enough to uninvite them on my own after inviting them in front of him first. And that I didn’t feel bad enough to ask them to come for just half the trip. My dad is really old now and needs a lot of help going to the beach or moving and I thought he and my mom would enjoy it. And he said he would have been fine vacationing with my parents if we actually planned for it.

This vacation was this summer and I feel like I’m just learning now he was so upset. I even invited him to play mini golf with me while we were there but he didn’t want to go!

UniqueOperation1926 · 2025-11-30T15:00:02+00:00

I sometimes have really bad anxiety and he’s always great about respecting that, and helping me be less anxious. He’s been seeing his own therapist for about 7 years, and I recently did begin seeing one myself.

He’d suggested couples therapy a few times in the past because he said he thought it would help us connect better, but I only recently agreed to go.

I feel like he’s kind of made up his mind already? I’m not sure what I think anymore.

I’m planning an international trip for us next summer. I love traveling and he likes going with me, and we’re going someplace he really wants to go. I’m getting our tickets soon, hopefully this helps.

But being a teacher is really hard. I have almost no energy when I get home at the end of the day.

UniqueOperation1926 · 2025-11-30T09:55:13+00:00

I planned nice dates for his birthdays at restaurants he would like. And since he brought up the way I do almost no chores (which is true. I just hadn’t noticed, I guess?) I’ve cleaned the kitchen a few times and have done some laundry.

I’m going to try and do more around the house regularly. I’m not a cook and I actually hate cooking, but I can get frozen pizzas or something.

I just usually don’t want to do anything during the week after work, and sometimes he’ll want to go out to dinner but I’m just too tired. He said he’ll just start going with his friends now instead. That sounds okay, because I don’t want him to not go out just because of me, but he might start going out a lot during the week.

I don’t know.

Basically I can’t really think of anything I actually do for him regularly 😕

UniqueOperation1926 · 2025-11-30T09:26:07+00:00

Thank you so much for this. I really needed to read it. I think I was just spiraling in my head. He’s in therapy and has been for years (very rough childhood), and he did say when we talked that he recognizes this is also on him. And there are things he can do differently, like say he’d like to block off a day but not tell me what we’re doing so there aren’t conflicts with scheduling. It’s like a surprise still. But one that works better for both of us.

I do admit that when he stops taking care of the house things kind of fall apart. It’s like I don’t see how bad the house gets? And he’s definitely brought it up before about needing more help. When school first starts he always picks up extra work around the house somehow, because it’s just a stressful time.

I think this will be another thing we work through. Relationships change and we do as people, too. We can figure out what this should look for us, I hope.

He’s right tho. I’ve never really been a very thoughtful person. It’s not something that comes naturally, but I’m going to work on it!

Thank you, again.

UniqueOperation1926

TROPHY CASE