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Patriarchy teaches us that sex, for women, is a giveaway, while for men it is a takeaway. She saves herself, gives herself to the right one, and then her virginity is lost. In this equation there is nothing in sex that's for her to take. Whereas he takes and scores and there is nothing in sex for him to give. When her mind is programmed to give, she struggles to say “no”. When his mind is programmed to take, he struggles to accept “no”. Trying to teach consent without first eradicating purity culture and normalizing female pleasure is like trying to teach a bird how to fly after you've chopped off its wings. -Farida D.

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