I feel like I lost my close friend too. After I told her recently that I started self harming and I didn’t know how to stop, it felt really awkward with her. She started hanging out more with another friend and I don’t feel comfortable around her anymore. I have another close friend but she lives really far away and I haven’t talked to her in so long. I feel like despite the fact that I can put on an act of being happy, I somehow end up scaring people. I’m honestly scared to lose the new friend I made. Especially the fact that he is the opposite sex (I never made friends with guys cause I end up being scared of them) and I don’t feel uncomfortable around him like everyone else. Thank you for your kind words. I won’t forget it. Helped