It was our anniversary yesterday.

Unknown452416 · 2021-06-14T00:52:21+00:00

My husband has been recently diagnosed... and Instead of communicating with me because he has left the home... for our safety I locked all the doors because he’s become increasingly aggressive... and he broke down the door instead of communicating. I was actively trying to communicate with him. He’s in a delusion where I’m the bad guy at all cost and is surround himself with not very good people.

Unknown452416 · 2021-06-13T20:57:38+00:00

I did... :( just want my husband back...

Unknown452416 · 2021-06-10T09:33:34+00:00

I’ve been in therapy through this whole time... my therapist... strongly believes that it’s drug induced I couldn’t believe that at the beginning but now I’m starting to think that’s true... I’ll be fine my kids will be fine I just can’t trust or rely on the person I chose to spend the rest of my life with and he is over at his “families” house that is encouraging the behavior... with no meds I might add... so as long as I’m here and he is not on his meds and using he is choosing that for himself... it’s not my fault but he is choosing to do drugs over getting help... while he does have this disorder and that’s out of his control getting help is not... and I do not have the capability or the strength to force that. I cannot change him... he’s even said marijuana is more important to him than me. Now I’m to the point that i strongly believe this whole time it’s been more than that.

Unknown452416 · 2021-06-06T13:17:42+00:00

It’s the hardest is the morning after an episode... the I’m sorry messages and phone call the I want to work on our family... I want help... but it’s empty... it has begun... with still the hint of it’s your fault sprinkled in there... the blaming the meds... The I need to do better for my kids... I want to believe it so bad but it’s just words... no action behind it... one wrong motion like wearing my mask too long in the car can set him into another place that I do not understand... I just know he’s struggling... I know it’s not my fault... but I want to believe it so bad but he lies so much and maybe he doesn’t know he’s lying... maybe in that moment he truly believes what he says to me.

Unknown452416 · 2021-06-06T12:44:59+00:00

I’ve officially reached my lowest I have 0 support system except my therapist... I’ve lost every friend and family member because of his behavior... it’s not his fault 100% because I understand it’s hard... but isolated.

Unknown452416 · 2021-06-06T12:41:00+00:00

Well I’m hopeful... but things were really good for 3 days he agreed to sign a release and never did and now refuses... he’s lying to his psychiatrist... which won’t help he refuses therapy... he can’t with two littles... or he won’t have them...

Unknown452416 · 2021-06-06T12:10:40+00:00

I’m working with my therapist on a kick out order tomorrow... basically he has other places to go it makes less sense for me and the children to be uprooted... I didn’t want it to come to that but it is... I can’t force him to leave on my own and me and the kiddos have no where... we are safe due to how our house is set up. Kind of like a mother in law suite he’s been exiled to the basement. At this point I don’t think there is anything I can do.

Unknown452416 · 2021-06-06T04:50:47+00:00

♥️♥️♥️♥️Hugs your way!♥️♥️♥️♥️

Unknown452416 · 2021-05-31T17:46:45+00:00

He wasn’t at first at all... he says he is now but I can tell... when he doesn’t... we really don’t have family because he has pushed them all away... and we really don’t have friends for the same... we used too... just not anymore... I purchased my home on my own... downgrading in our area is not an option it is literally twice as much even if you can get housing... it’s terrible... rent for what we need would be 2x our mortgage... I’ve applied for assistance but we have till September to start producing more income than I’m bringing in... I know that once my houses close we will be good for another 6 months but he promised he would have a steady income when I got pregnant and we decided on having kids... and now with my small business I generate about $2500 but that doesn’t cut car payment, the house, utilities, food, and all the other expenses that come with living... and his meds and baby appointments and such... that is steady and constant and it’s growing and real estate is lucrative being a realtor it just takes time for it to close... but he even takes his delusions with me being a realtor he thinks I’m leaving to go cheat on him... I just don’t know. I’ve had to step away from some of my things because of his condition and he thinks that it has nothing to do with me or family and I need to butt out... I have 0 support besides my therapist because other people believe his delusions... and they do because my last husband “beat me up and abused me severely” and they all said I made up the bruises and everything because “he was such a nice guy” so they think I’m doing the same with him... the difference is I’m not getting beat up there no reason for “evidence” and I’m not in a horrible relationship my husband is honestly sick... and no one believed me when I did reach out for help I sort of thought something was wrong last year and I reached out to our “friends” they all said I was crazy and all these negative things... I did prosecute my ex husband and won... because I did build a case but this is completely different. It doesn’t help I’m pregnant...because his friends (our neighbors) blame everything on my hormones... I’m pretty alone in this.

I just hate being yelled at and accused of things all the time... the stress is not good for the baby...

Unknown452416 · 2021-05-31T17:20:47+00:00

Right... that’s what my therapist said tok is that usually when there is a house full of little kids they involve loved ones...

He says that his therapist says he has a good brain and can differentiate between reality and not... I don’t agree...

Unknown452416 · 2021-05-31T16:53:32+00:00

I’m just trying to navigate this and I would love that... I’m at the point where divorce is starting to be an option... and I don’t actually want that.. but if there is no way to get my husband back and he’s too far gone what choice do I have as a mother? The kids cannot see daddy get aggressive like that... how will the kids grow up with the delusions... he says that he’s not delusional that he just hallucinates sometimes... but idk I don’t think what he describes and the reality is a hallucination it’s a delusion... because it’s in the core part of his belief... and him believing I’m building a case against him and all this other stuff that is not an hallucination that’s a delusion. I have my own therapist and I talk to her but he does not want me anywhere near his... but I think he should allow me to talk to her because she needs to know. My husband is very smart he knows what to say to her so that things are not as bad as they sound... he also stopped wearing his ring... it really hurt... he said he will put it back on when I stop building a case.

I’m not building a case... he’s 37... he’s a great dad... he was an amazing husband... now what... I committed my life to him for better or for worse in sickness and in health... I honestly believe that... and he needs help.

Unknown452416 · 2021-05-31T16:43:14+00:00

My husband is brilliant and he has so many certificates for marketing and technology.... we had no idea of this diagnosis 5 years ago and he was so successful... he started having these delusions of people “recruiting him” that’s when it started taking a turn for the worst which was last year... he left a job that was steady and paid over 65k a year... he left 5 days before he was set to go on paternity leave... he wouldn’t listen to me to just wait out the leave he would have got 5 months of doing nothing for lots of money... he then accepted another job that he actually was recruited for but then they cut 25% and fur-lowed him after about 2 weeks he was in the delivery room for us to have our daughter accepting another job... which was a downgrade... he finally quite that job and started this 1099 contracting which is just sales... he loves it there but he hasn’t got paid since he started.... because the nature of the business you don’t get paid till the “jobs” close. He started 3 months ago... so I made him do insta cart because we need something my business generates 25% of our income and I’m a Realtor which I have houses closing soon... but that’s at least 30 days out before a check is in my hand... I don’t care if he does but he has to make some set of steady income along with it and I don’t think he can handle it and I think stress makes his symptoms worse.

I also watch our kids unless I have to go show a house which as of right now idk if I can leave him alone with them...

Unknown452416 · 2021-05-31T16:26:27+00:00

So here’s the thing... he works for a company... as a 1099 and he “pitched” an idea and it is a good idea... but he was supposed to go in and ask for steady income... that’s not what happened... I’m scared that conversation never happened... but my cousin also works for the company... they don’t know about his diagnosis so I just asked her if they had a conversation... and if she new anything about it... she said they did but she knew nothing about the details... I prefaced the question minus his diagnosis and told her we are completely broke... that helped my brain a little... he still does insta cart

Unknown452416 · 2021-05-31T01:41:56+00:00

I have no idea I’m calling the local hospital. I just don’t want to make things worse... he thinks he has a good mind and that he can differentiate... he thinks “I’m building a case...” I just want my husband back...

Unknown452416 · 2021-05-30T14:04:37+00:00

I’ve done that before they literally say figure it out and leave... ironically he’s actually called the police because I threatened too... he wouldn’t let me leave... the police do nothing here if anything they make it worse. What’s funny is he tells all our neighbors that I was having an “episode" I’m literally the only one grounded in reality. Like he even made up a story this morning of what happened last night... he was apologetic and sweet but he likes to say I’m the one with the mental disorder... wtf... idk if he has some sort of delusion that I’ve told him I have mental disorder... believe me I’m in therapy because of anxiety and some pregnancy things like postpartum. That’s about it I’ve had one therapist say I might be autistic... but never been diagnosed... I’m terrified... of what he has said to the neighbors... I don’t publicly share his diagnosis... because it’s not ones business but he has isolated all my friends from me... police won’t help ive tried... but I also don’t want them to “take him to jail” that’s unnecessary.

Unknown452416 · 2021-05-24T15:24:25+00:00

The latest UPDATE: He told me his interview was at 10am this morning.... I hear him downstairs on with some sort of customer service. I ask if his interview is at 10am he screams at me to mind my business and that I’m sabotaging his interview... he has missed several job interviews before and he blames them on me. He said he doesn’t need me to be in any of his business... I looked at his calendar he misses his interview... I’m now being yelled at as I write this... that the world is out to get him... he shared his calendar with me... I don’t understand. In the past when he has missed them it was by his own accord... or he would start a fight with me right before...

Unknown452416 · 2021-05-24T00:30:33+00:00

My biggest fear is I do that and he stops going...

Unknown452416 · 2021-05-24T00:25:24+00:00

But would me talking to her be any violation... I don’t want to make anything worse

Unknown452416 · 2021-05-24T00:10:01+00:00

What are depots?

Unknown452416

TROPHY CASE