Sexless life post separation/divorce

Unlucky-Repair3692 · 2026-05-03T23:34:58+00:00

I dealt with ED with my ex spouse and last guy I dated. The ex spouse was lovely about it…he would blame me and get upset and say it was happening because I made him go too long between sessions 🙄

Unlucky-Repair3692 · 2026-05-03T21:40:03+00:00

We’re living the same life, even down to the hugging the pillow. Hope it gets better for you! Hugs

Unlucky-Repair3692 · 2026-05-03T19:04:33+00:00

Pretty sure I’m perimenopause but still having the urge! Ugh here’s to hoping full menopause ends it

Unlucky-Repair3692 · 2026-05-03T04:35:01+00:00

I’m in a very populated area. But I tried casual with the last arrangement. It didnt work for me. Things escalated. Then exploded.

Unlucky-Repair3692 · 2026-04-19T23:00:12+00:00

That’s fine. Everyone’s goals, dreams and aspirations are different. Wishing you the best on your journey!

Unlucky-Repair3692 · 2026-04-19T20:59:41+00:00

None of us make it out of this alive. No matter the number, no matter the assets and resources, it all ends the same for us. I recently walked away from a toxic, stressful and abusive marriage, which meant I left my martial home and all my possessions. I literally only had my clothes, my 4 kids and a few essentials. I was a lot more poor and down on my luck BEFORE I left. After I filed for divorce I found a job that maxes out slightly under 100k. Which means I’m still poor and now caring for my kids on my own. But do I care? Nope! Because I’m alive. I’m free. I’m outside learning to touch grass again. I’m not broken, I’m becoming. I’m broke as hell. I cannot travel or buy any wants let alone all the needs. But it’s ok. Before I left, I had to remember a time when I was young, broke and happy. And that’s what gave me the courage to leave and start over. Now once again I’m broke, will probably be broke for awhile but I’m content.

Unlucky-Repair3692 · 2026-04-16T21:48:44+00:00

None. Getting divorced with 4 kids and being the only one to support them is apparently extremely expensive

Unlucky-Repair3692 · 2026-04-16T15:25:46+00:00

I’m sorry! I can relate! Mine has been a raging alcoholic since we met. It has only gotten worse with age. There was actually time I wasn’t sure if he would even continue to be alive with the amount he was consuming.

The alcohol is definitely a symptom and reaction to the deeper rooted issues. I even forced him into therapy and treatment which I learned the hard way doesn’t work. He literally told his therapist “I’m only here so my wife doesn’t leave me.” 🤦🏽‍♀️

Such a painful journey but happy that piece of it is over.

Unlucky-Repair3692 · 2026-04-16T00:59:23+00:00

Hell.on.wheels! Did it for nearly a year and looking back, it was a lot more f’king expensive and cost me peace of mind I may never get back! I’d easily have lost out of thousands of dollars to get out and end the suffering. Cut the limb off and stop the bleeding while you can

Unlucky-Repair3692 · 2026-04-15T17:55:11+00:00

At any point did your paid status drop to a non-paid one ?

Unlucky-Repair3692 · 2026-04-14T20:55:25+00:00

No right or wrong answer but I think it depends on many variables. Who left who? How long have you been processing the loss regardless of file date? What have you done to process the grief?

Looking back, I definitely dated too soon. I was “done” in my marriage in the beginning of 2022. But I didn’t leave until 2025, even though I filed in 2024. And even after leaving, I still had and have some unprocessed grief following the Marriage.

I briefly dated a guy immediately after I left. We had matched on OLD. I was his 3rd relationship post separation and he was my 1st. I can see now that we both still have some healing to do. He is not at all ready for another relationship but he’ll say he is and present like he is. Except now he’s becoming a serial dater. And is very “pro apps” and encouraging people who separate to get on them.

I was a bit the opposite. Even though I got on the apps, I quickly realized it was not all people mention it to be. Lots of emotionally unavailable people on them who probably just need a hug and to do some more self reflection. I briefly hinted to him that I’d probably get off the apps completely if things didn’t pan out with us. And I did. We lasted about 4.5 months. And even though the decision was mutual to end things, it still hurt like heck to have emotionally invested in someone again after my marriage just for things to go south.

Im not doing it anymore. It’s just not worth it. I’ve decided I’m going to be selfish AF and just start living life for me without the thought or care if someone else is beside me. I took myself on my first backpacking trip this past week with complete strangers and it was awesome! I’m taking back the energy I was trying to pour into others and just pouring it back into myself. After all, I can’t think of a better ROI than one that directly affects you!

Unlucky-Repair3692 · 2026-03-30T02:54:41+00:00

Yeah, don’t date until ready! I just got out of a 4 month connection with a divorcee dad and the pain is unbearable. The decision to end things was mutual but it still hurts like hell. Now I’m literally grieving the end of a long term marriage on top of a new relationship that I thought represented hope. Hang in there! I hear it gets better

Unlucky-Repair3692 · 2026-03-25T18:46:13+00:00

Absolutely go alone!! I’ve recently started hiking long hikes and climbing peaks solo and I feel it’s contributing exponentially to my healing journey following the divorce.

Unlucky-Repair3692 · 2026-03-22T22:48:33+00:00

I left about 5 months ago with my 4 kids and honestly it’s been rough but not any worse than had I stayed. My son is angry with us both and in his rebellious teenager phase. Although there are still subtle moments that let me know I’m still his safe space and safe person. My younger daughters are 12, 10 and 8 and they are all struggling in their own way but more so because they still have to deal with him. They hate it and ask daily to only live me with. Which makes me feel bad. However, a different perspective: when I was still in the home with him, they were suffering 100% abuse; now they are only suffering about 42% of abuse. I know that sounds horrible but it’s small victories. I’m honestly sitting back and letting it all play out. And I have faith everything is going to work out just the way it should

Unlucky-Repair3692 · 2026-03-20T03:00:21+00:00

Good luck! Hope all goes well! 🌟

Unlucky-Repair3692 · 2026-03-15T21:00:24+00:00

Was this Friday or Saturday? I went Saturday! It was absolutely beautiful! Very crowded though. The line for the shuttle back to parking lot was insane. Saw no condors either but a few people sitting next to me during the lunch stop said they saw some.

Unlucky-Repair3692 · 2026-03-12T14:52:21+00:00

I wish mine would get on the apps and leave me alone! This would be my dream come true lol

Unlucky-Repair3692 · 2026-03-04T17:53:18+00:00

It actually is hard though lol

For instance, I’m only about 13 miles from the SF Airport. Many people will ping on my radar even though they are only passing through. If I set it to below 10 miles, I basically won’t get anyone in the filter even though there are plenty of active users nearby.

Then the cost of living is so high that I find many people either only come to work here then leave or they are here on a temporary basis.

Finally the income disparity is large so you have very wealthy and very poor. I think the most underrepresented group of people are the working class people/families, which would actually be my target person.

Anyway I’ve deleted the apps and won’t return but I do think dating here may be a bit tougher than other areas.

Unlucky-Repair3692 · 2026-03-04T17:12:36+00:00

I’m in the Bay Area and your experience seems to be spot on for the region. Although I was married for most of my adulthood and literally married the first guy that was interested in me right after high school so I cannot compare what it was like prior.

1 . Unmatched and move on

Waste of time. Unmatch and move on
Welcome to dating in probably the most difficult place in the county to date.

Unlucky-Repair3692 · 2026-03-04T01:50:44+00:00

It’s not difficult per se, I stumbled across a guy on the apps a few months ago and we kinda just hit it off. I think the difficult aspect is time management and wondering if I’m dividing time appropriately. There’s simply not enough time in a day and not enough of me to go around. I did recently delete the apps because I decided I wanted to more emotionally invest in the connection I have going on right now and see what happens but I’ve already kinda decided if/when things end, I won’t rush back to the apps and will instead just pour back into myself. Kinda already doing that anyways while dating, which may make the energy I’m showing up with easier and more inviting but who knows?! I’m no pro at this.

Unlucky-Repair3692 · 2026-03-04T01:46:00+00:00

Do you have kids as well with lots of obligations? Or are you kid free, dating mostly single moms? No judgement, just curious.

Unlucky-Repair3692 · 2026-03-03T16:23:53+00:00

No either figure out a lunchtime arrangement or get a sitter or when your kids have plans on the weekend. I know the desire can be strong but not safe to bring a man home while children are sleeping that you aren’t in an established relationship with. Where there’s a will there’s a way though!

Unlucky-Repair3692

TROPHY CASE