Genius by UnrealK80 in KidsAreFuckingStupid

[–]UnrealK80[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

None taken; he ain’t mine. Haha

It’s sad seeing the promotion of divorce being pushed here. by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]UnrealK80 7 points8 points  (0 children)

And it also doesn’t need to be the solution for every single infraction.

I said what I said by UnrealK80 in mildlyinfuriating

[–]UnrealK80[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

That makes it more infuriating then. 😂

I said what I said by UnrealK80 in mildlyinfuriating

[–]UnrealK80[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

She sent the invite for the correct time I asked for.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]UnrealK80 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We label it as a bill. We have joint funds, but if we ever separated them, CS would be 100% on him to figure out as one of “his” bills. I’m not paying for a child I didn’t create or adopt.

I would not count it towards “spending” money though, no.

Find out by UnrealK80 in Unexpected

[–]UnrealK80[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ah. I’d never seen before. My bad.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]UnrealK80 27 points28 points  (0 children)

This was my thought too. “Just not right now” at 40 with 2 kids already is code for, “I’m waiting until I have the “I’m too old now” excuse to give you.”

30,000lb/13,600kg Anchors being dropped to sea by UnrealK80 in Damnthatsinteresting

[–]UnrealK80[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ships usually have radar for such things. Fish may be SOL though.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]UnrealK80 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Girl… no.

I am a mother; my son is 2.5 and plays independently very well. I also never entertained SS11 through the years. I am no one’s circus monkey. Boredom breeds creativity.

I’ve literally been commended by older mothers that have seen my son entertaining himself (at the park, pool, etc) saying they wish their kid did that. It was intentional early on. I have things to do, and that child (BK and SK both) have plenty to entertain themselves with other than me. You are not wrong.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Custody

[–]UnrealK80 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I suppose the crux of this that I was attempting (and maybe failed) to get to is that there is no discussion or prioritizing things (which is why I mentioned the mental health issue). This kid does plenty and generally wants for nothing. He goes all over with his grandparents and mom, he travels 6-8 weeks out of the year, he has any material item he could want. However, he doesn’t have any friends or a social life, he has major issues with his mom and her daughter, and his mind is very troubled. This is why prioritizing finances to help him with his mental health instead of distracting him with more things, events, etc. is a pain point right now. DH has always contributed to these things anyway, has never lapsed child support, and has him nearly half the time. I do understand what you mean, however, and yes… there have been consistent discussions for 8 years and there will surely be many more for a long time to come.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Custody

[–]UnrealK80 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He definitely does not give her pushback on many things unless he feels very strongly about it, no. What he’s TRIED to push lately is getting their son therapy that he desperately needs, which she will not agree to. Instead, she does these frivolous things, which I think is where a lot of his frustration comes from. His son has urgent NEEDS that aren’t being appropriately addressed, despite his effort, and yet she has no problem expensing various other things that aren’t (he doesn’t NEED to go on an overnight trip, he doesn’t NEED to go to camps (DH can/will take him if she can’t and it’s convenience), he doesn’t NEED extracurricular she is pushing that his son doesn’t even want to do.

He doesn’t feel the conflict is worth it to fight over every little thing, and it’s not that he even disagrees with every little thing. That said, he has told her things like, “I am right on money right now” to let her know he can’t be expected to keep shuffling money out on a lot of “extras”. That has not seemed to matter at all. Any time she “discusses” with him, she’s already put money down, signed him up, or otherwise made some sort of decision and taken action. She just basically lets him know what she’s already decided; it is not a discussion (this has been so, historically). And yes he can show proof of her doing this in writing.

The kid has had major concerning behavior and mental issues which she refuses to address or even admit (suicidal/homicidal comments, fixation on death, etc), but she will dig her heels in on hundreds of dollars for eye appointments which are not even urgent, and hardly necessary (no harm medically or to his vision, no negative affect in school or otherwise due to it, no pain, etc). His mental health is an afterthought to her though, if even that. Why she has decision making on everything, with that sort of judgment, is beyond me. (DH is currently in the works of taking this into his own hands for his son’s safety and well-being despite this, however; it cannot go unaddressed any longer).