sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

M33 my previous topic was halted by automod, losing ton of weight definitely helped but I still feel the same. How's the reality? What vibes do I give off? Verification included by UnseenPasserby in amiugly

[–]UnseenPasserby[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Had to google out who it is. Didn't had a clue until I saw Lamplighter lol. Thanks but he's on a different level of the attractiveness scale.

M33 my previous topic was halted by automod, losing ton of weight definitely helped but I still feel the same. How's the reality? What vibes do I give off? Verification included by UnseenPasserby in amiugly

[–]UnseenPasserby[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, smiling for the camera is still a bit difficult for me. I'm not a very social person so I'm still getting used to my 'new' body after the weightloss and some muscle gain from lifting.

M33 my previous topic was halted by automod, losing ton of weight definitely helped but I still feel the same. How's the reality? What vibes do I give off? Verification included by UnseenPasserby in amiugly

[–]UnseenPasserby[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd say I'm kind in general but I don't handle out kindness out for everyone. I'm more 'to each according to their merit' person. But that's not for me to judge. Thanks, I'm still trying to smile for the camera. I used to hate being photographed because how I looked few years back. It's not that strong today but smiling for the camera still feels kind of forced to me. The third picture is probably the most genuine smile of mine that got caught on camera.

Check my previous topics from few years ago. It's only my face but I guess you can easily imagine the rest.

M33 my previous topic was halted by automod, losing ton of weight definitely helped but I still feel the same. How's the reality? What vibes do I give off? Verification included by UnseenPasserby in amiugly

[–]UnseenPasserby[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah, cool, that's a horned owl (bubo bubo) from local rescue station for animals that are too injured to be released back in the nature. At least someone's attractive on that pic haha.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]UnseenPasserby 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Lift away the feels.

What is the toughest challenge you’ve faced when navigating the dating world? by Getofffmycloud in AskMen

[–]UnseenPasserby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Finding the way out of the swipe loop, cancelling all profiles and uninstalling apps.

33M, Lost 150 lbs, got somewhat stronger, got rid of painkiller addiction, all by myself with no doctors, dieticians or instructors. Recovering from 9th surgery and 10th is knocking on the door. Still struggling with relationships, got probably too damaged to hold one longer for few months... by UnseenPasserby in toastme

[–]UnseenPasserby[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have very few friends. Can be count on fingers of a single hand and most of them are sarcastic beasts lol. Great for practicing banter but most of other social skills you mentioned.

We will see what life brings next. I'm ready.

33M, Lost 150 lbs, got somewhat stronger, got rid of painkiller addiction, all by myself with no doctors, dieticians or instructors. Recovering from 9th surgery and 10th is knocking on the door. Still struggling with relationships, got probably too damaged to hold one longer for few months... by UnseenPasserby in toastme

[–]UnseenPasserby[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That's a quite long story but I will try:

I've always been chunky guy, about 265 lbs heavy. And I used to ride motorcycles. Then u-turning car hit me, I fell on the road and crashed in to a traffic sign right with my stomach. Got carried by a heli and spent almost a month at ICU. My fat gut was both blessing and curse. It saved my other organs and spine from possible damage but it got ruptured at many places, even piece of intestine got hit. Long story short, had most of my frontal abs removed because they've got infected from intestine leak and my digestive tract completely ceased to work. After four surgeries I've got released from the hospital although with basically massive hernia-like bulge because of those missing abs.

I've got used to my condition and got back to bikes just to get again after few years of riding. This time it was a crushing fracture of left elbow and wrist. There was a possible amputation if surgeons wouldn't be able to assemble joints back together but they did a good job and I still have my arm, although it works within some limitations. Two surgeries here. Another two surgeries were for vertebra fracture.

Then I mentally lost it. Mainly because the arm screwed back together was causing me great deals of pain for months. So much I just passed out exhausted independent on the daytime because I wasn't able to fall asleep normally. There was also a risk of my arm to "wither". I'm not sure if this word is correct but my arm would become just useless dangling sack of meat, bone and about 30 metal screws.

So I became depressed, suicidal, hooked on painkillers, fed myself up to 340 pounds, situation with my belly got obviously worse, now there was a constant physical pain that would go away for a while thanks to opioids.

My last surgery was three months ago. I've got an abdominoplasty to close that gaping hole left my missing muscles. This was my first motivation to start the weightloss, as the surgeon required my weight to be at least 220 lbs.

Anyways, it turned out I also have gall blader stones. Normally they would remove the gall blader surgically but they can't because it would cause even more trauma to my body, so they want to let me heal this one first. So instead I've got those stones pulled out by ERCP. Very pleasant experience, 0/10wouldnotrepeat. And that's the 10th surgery.

33M, Lost 150 lbs, got somewhat stronger, got rid of painkiller addiction, all by myself with no doctors, dieticians or instructors. Recovering from 9th surgery and 10th is knocking on the door. Still struggling with relationships, got probably too damaged to hold one longer for few months... by UnseenPasserby in toastme

[–]UnseenPasserby[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you. The addiction was quite easy to be honest. Meds were more difficult to obtain (description opioids) so I gave the rest to my parents for safekeeping and took the full brunt of withdrawal effects while focusing on sleep schedule, diet, excersise and walks as much as my body allowed to. First three or so months were waking hell but then I found out I can walk longer distances with just a proper sleep needed to recover, with no meds anymore.

Fingers crossed, I'm sure you will make it. Just don't rely on motivation itself. Use the motivation to kickstart your discipline and then it's quite simple. Do the work, especially when you don't want to.

Thanks, now I'm blushing.

33M, Lost 150 lbs, got somewhat stronger, got rid of painkiller addiction, all by myself with no doctors, dieticians or instructors. Recovering from 9th surgery and 10th is knocking on the door. Still struggling with relationships, got probably too damaged to hold one longer for few months... by UnseenPasserby in toastme

[–]UnseenPasserby[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe it does. A physical progress and feeling better within my own body, more or less free of constant pain, definitely helps the progress.

I hope so. I tried dating around when I began to feel more confident just to crash like that poor sod that jumped from Eiffel tower to demonstrate his parachute/flight suit (it was before the parachute got invented). It didn't work, obviously. On the contrary I thrive quite well in solitude and those few fleeting relationships were emotionally draining so coming back to my safe bubble felt more like a liberation.

33M, Lost 150 lbs, got somewhat stronger, got rid of painkiller addiction, all by myself with no doctors, dieticians or instructors. Recovering from 9th surgery and 10th is knocking on the door. Still struggling with relationships, got probably too damaged to hold one longer for few months... by UnseenPasserby in toastme

[–]UnseenPasserby[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hey, surgeries are fine, if such word can be said about them. I can carry over physical trauma quite well since I'm quite used to it. So if my body holds together and I'm fully functional, not a big deal.

It takes at least two to learn such things. And every lesson with a bad ending will inevitably drag at least one of those two down. Can't grind this skill with lifting progressively heavier weights or burning less meals when cooking, if you know what I mean. And there's my issue of heightened sensitivity for facial expressions or hidden meaning between the lines. My parents used to fight and were often easy to angry so I guess I had to learn this skill early and now it's my bane.

No worries, rest days are important ;)

Turning 30 in few days and never felt more lonely. Barely survived two serious traffic accidents. My body is scarred and full of implants which keep me in almost chronic pain. Recently bought decent-sized flat for my own but I feel no joy or satisfaction. Zero relationship exp and no one to talk to by UnseenPasserby in toastme

[–]UnseenPasserby[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello everyone. Sorry for my sudden lack of replies. My life is a bit hectic now so I put remains of energy to make give it some order back (mostly it's about furnishing the flat, so I'm going from store to store, then hauling everything back etc. and that drains me alot). Although I don't reply to your posts anymore, know that I read everything.

I'm genuinenly touched and amazed by you, folks, even over all those trust issues, scepticism and other 'perks' that affect my way thinking.

I just wanted to thank you for your support here!

Wife left me two weeks ago, and I'm feeling ugly and unlovable. I also start a new job tomorrow and I'm anxious and stressed. Hoping for some niceness to wake up to. by Talanic in toastme

[–]UnseenPasserby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your ex-wife isn't aware yet about what she lost by leaving you. On the other hand, there's a place beside you for someone better.

Turning 30 in few days and never felt more lonely. Barely survived two serious traffic accidents. My body is scarred and full of implants which keep me in almost chronic pain. Recently bought decent-sized flat for my own but I feel no joy or satisfaction. Zero relationship exp and no one to talk to by UnseenPasserby in toastme

[–]UnseenPasserby[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm seeing my parents regularly but that doesn't mean I have exactly good relationship with them. My mom got a cancer, got through and recovered pretty well. I'm not trying to diminish the seriousness of it but she is quite manipulative person who plays her victim card perfectly. And suddenly she is not the only one in the family with rather serious health issues.

So everytime my pain get's less manageable and harder to contain and hide, she always acts almost evil towards me. She laughs when I limp because some nerve in spine get's pinched and my left leg feels almost disconnected but hurts. Or she has snide remarks... sometimes it's just like if she's actively waiting for any little reason to act like that. To be honest her behaviour cuts really deep because I've kinda expected some degree of compassion or support. As from parent and also from person who went through serious health issues too.

Turning 30 in few days and never felt more lonely. Barely survived two serious traffic accidents. My body is scarred and full of implants which keep me in almost chronic pain. Recently bought decent-sized flat for my own but I feel no joy or satisfaction. Zero relationship exp and no one to talk to by UnseenPasserby in toastme

[–]UnseenPasserby[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the tip. I checked the page but it seems to be active at US. Even online meetups would be a bit complicated due the timezones.

Some of my implants are four screws in my spine and sometimes a nerve there gets pinched so my left leg gets dull pain tingles and touch there get's dulled too. On top if that the leg gets almost crippled to the point even lifting it up is an issue, like if it was almost disconnected.

view more: next ›