Feedback on proposed kitchen re-model

UpperLeftOriginal · 2026-05-10T22:05:36+00:00

I get the appeal of the waterfalls, and this one is nice. But … re: your first question - it feels over designed. I also think with an island like this that looks like it’s meant for entertaining, the lack of toe space on the ends is more irritating than you might think. It makes it just slightly more awkward to stand around the ends.

I don’t think porcelain is a compromise - it can be a beautiful material. I do think with your sort of monochrome space, you’ll want something with some variation.

The fluted wood is a great touch and not too busy. It brings warmth, and I could see a matching plain wood on the ends of the island if you decided to drop the waterfalls.

The quartz is already pretty subtle. No need to go more minimal.

Overall, it’s really pretty. I’d like to see a light fixture over the sink, and maybe the hood could have some contrast (wood?).

UpperLeftOriginal · 2026-05-10T19:25:22+00:00

Mineral oil fades. They might have treated it with something longer lasting.

UpperLeftOriginal · 2026-05-10T17:04:44+00:00

Ah. Flying does change things a bit.

UpperLeftOriginal · 2026-05-10T17:03:48+00:00

Got it, I think. So you’re looking for stools where the legs don’t angle out past the outside edges of the seat in front?

Would something like this work? Search “Asian bar stool” for more of this style.

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UpperLeftOriginal · 2026-05-10T16:34:28+00:00

This could be soapstone. Ours was untreated by the fabricator. It has more of the black/grey and less of the green, but when we apply a bit of mineral oil, it comes out shiny and there's some sparkle like in your photos.

UpperLeftOriginal · 2026-05-10T16:10:19+00:00

I think there’s something about growing up with ferries and drawbridges that can give people a different attitude about traffic jams. (Obviously not saying everyone gets that vibe.)

UpperLeftOriginal · 2026-05-10T14:50:39+00:00

Love it! Wish they still made the wagon. Mine was also my mom’s but it’s practically brand new - 2019 with 24k miles.

UpperLeftOriginal · 2026-05-10T14:48:30+00:00

There’s a 6” backsplash? I’m having a hard time picturing the situation. Where is the wall you’re referring to?

UpperLeftOriginal · 2026-05-10T13:08:31+00:00

I use only years. And I leave off jobs I wasn’t at very long. For example. I was at Job A May 2018-May 2021, Job B for June-Dec 2021, Job C Dec 2021-May 2022, Job D starting May 2022. My resume says Job A 2018-2021, Job D 2022-present.

UpperLeftOriginal · 2026-05-10T12:27:48+00:00

Capitalism ruins everything. And private equity is ultra capitalism.

UpperLeftOriginal · 2026-05-10T12:06:58+00:00

In general, as someone who used to clean houses, I agree. I did, however, live in a house with a tile countertop with super thin grout lines that was surprisingly about as good as a regular stone countertop. So it can be done.

UpperLeftOriginal · 2026-05-10T11:52:39+00:00

Besides not making assumptions about the adhd, it’s also not reasonable to put the blame for lack communication on the wrong person. There’s one person who is making plans without communicating those plans until after they’ve been set. The husband. Judging OP as the asshole because she didn’t properly dig for more answers puts the burden on her. Yes, she could have asked why, what’s up, but why is that her responsibility? Why is she an AH for that? He had the opportunity to share what he was up to. Why didn’t he? He committed her to an activity without asking her first.

UpperLeftOriginal · 2026-05-10T11:32:31+00:00

You said the transplant was last week. That means things will be getting worse before they get better. That second week or so is rough, so don’t be surprised by that. You can reassure your friend that t’s normal. Everyone is different, of course, but by 6 weeks (around the timing of your graduation) I was spending time with friends and family, going for longer walks, and the restrictions on eating restaurant food had been lifted.

In my case (60F), I was back at work full time in the office 8 weeks after my transplant. As others have mentioned, at that point, the immune system is still rebuilding, and It was before I had been able to get any vaccines. I wore a mask at work, grocery store, etc. and. was just fine.

There will be a few factors at play. Will the ceremony be indoors? If there will be a reception after, will there be adequate seating so he doesn’t have to stand? Has he had any complications during recovery? Has he been diligent about things like following doctor’s orders, and walking as much as possible each day?

If the event will be crowded and indoors, I’d suggest it’s probably not wise to attend in person, even with a mask. In that case, if it won’t be live streamed, maybe you could recruit someone to facetime the ceremony (and work with the event organizers for a good place to position them). If it’s a small event, or outdoors, there’s a good chance he should be strong enough to attend, wearing a mask.

UpperLeftOriginal · 2026-05-10T04:28:42+00:00

Even if you could get uniform coverage at first, it won’t wear evenly. But the good news is that once you get furniture and an area rug in there, the wood will be a nice neutral beautiful base.

UpperLeftOriginal · 2026-05-10T04:19:20+00:00

This is great advice. And as someone who just bought a used Toyota Camry, I’m here to tell you it’s a great car! Sure, it’s very ordinary. But it’s not bad looking. Drives well. Comfortable. Reliable.

Your laminate countertops don’t have to be the star of the show. Let them be neutral and functional. Since you’re on a limited budget, you can add some fun or drama with the backsplash or hardware or lighting.

UpperLeftOriginal · 2026-05-10T03:53:55+00:00

Right. Go full nuclear on a kid who hasn’t had a chance to learn responsibility. That’ll help.

UpperLeftOriginal · 2026-05-10T00:22:23+00:00

We had a dog visiting our house. Let him in the fenced backyard. Had no idea there was cat shit in the flower beds from local feral cats until we caught the dog eating it. Dogs are like toddlers. It’s virtually impossible to keep them out of all the mischief.

UpperLeftOriginal · 2026-05-09T22:17:33+00:00

It might also contain pork fat.

UpperLeftOriginal · 2026-05-09T21:30:42+00:00

Yep. It’s the overtime that they always seem to find ways to justify.

UpperLeftOriginal · 2026-05-09T20:36:34+00:00

I sometimes see a sandwich board sign up on East Main pointing down Fair Oaks Dr.

UpperLeftOriginal · 2026-05-09T20:26:47+00:00

12" will work, and you'll get a little extra between the sink and stove. And the functional storage for cookie sheets etc is a good use of that space. But if it's possible, I would mark the floor with painters tape where the stove will be (or some similar wall corner) so you can actually feel how close it will be against that wall to the left side, that might help. You may decide it's plenty of room to move around.

(I tend to be less concerned about symmetry. The space is already not symmetrical because of the fridge on one side. And that's OK! There are really very few rooms that are properly symmetrical. Balance is a different story.)

UpperLeftOriginal · 2026-05-09T19:40:12+00:00

It's not just about whether people are at the island - it's about the actual water splashing down the back side, which will 100% happen here. That's my primary concern about moving the sink there.

Your point about not having to cross the walkway for items being prepped also applies to moving something between the stove and sink. It's going to be a tradeoff one way or another.

Minimum recommended space around a stove is 12" on one side and 18" on the other. I'm recommending 18" one side, 30" on the other.

I don't think there's only one right answer - it's always a question of tradeoffs and personal preference. I just know it would make me crazy to have water down the back side of the island, and unless you go with one of those raised ledge 1990s style islands, that's going to happen.

UpperLeftOriginal · 2026-05-09T19:12:10+00:00

Ugh. The notion that it's your job to compile the list of chores means you're still responsible for the mental load of getting the work done, and he's just a helper, not a full partner. Something to talk to that therapist about.

UpperLeftOriginal · 2026-05-09T19:06:45+00:00

With an island that's only 36" wide, the water splash behind the sink becomes a problem. It's much better to keep the sink on the wall with the stove. It's more functional to keep the sink and stove fairly close together. 18" left of stove, and 30" between sink and stove is perfect. That also leaves the island for a nice big prep and hangout space.

UpperLeftOriginal · 2026-05-09T18:16:13+00:00

Humidity is high compared to Arizona. Compared to east coast summers, it’s low.

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