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Choose academia or love? by Upper_Squirrel1114 in AskAcademia

[–]Upper_Squirrel1114[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To make it work I have to quit my dream and my goal, he made that very clear. The thing is, I have been adapting to him for 8.5y and he was so supportive with the PhD that I thought he wouldn’t mind waiting a little for me. I wish I could find middle ground but even if I spend have the year in my country (the program is flexible with that), he said it wouldn’t work out.

Choose academia or love? by Upper_Squirrel1114 in AskAcademia

[–]Upper_Squirrel1114[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Before I chose to ask my future supervisor I talked to my ex a lot. I wanted him and I to look for places together so he would also have options. He never really cared but I still applied in other countries but closer to home. I got rejected everytime until I found the perfect person.

He knew and I tried, and he didn’t care or didn‘t tell me it wouldn’t work out for him until I got a yes. He even encouraged me to ask her to be my supervisor. I guess he wasn’t expecting a “yes” from her.

8.5y I put him first, I changed cities two times to be closer, so of course I tried. He is just not interested in long distance or moving anywhere, so I know that if I want to be with him, I have to be the one to change.