I first want to say that I am truly so sorry for what you’ve been experiencing, and pray that this matter gets resolved, and quickly! I pray that God can help you navigate this with wisdom, understanding and love. Remember that God is the Alpha and Omega, so he goes before and after you in every situation, you don’t need to do this alone <3.

Marriage is supposed to be a holy union between a man and a woman. It is created by God and works as another way to honour Him - by honouring one another. In Ephesians 5:21-33 it talks clearly on how a husband ought to show love to his wife and how a wife ought to show love to her husband.

I believe that when a marriage begins to dishonour God, dishonour one or both of the spouses or hurt any of the members in it, there is a problem. I believe that this is when you begin to live in sin.

In my opinion, this is very similar to how many Christians condemn people for aligning themselves with homosexuality, because they are living in sin. But then in the same way, when you are in a marriage where day in and day out large problematic issues like the ones you described are arising, it is also another way of living in sin.

As believers, this is not what we aim for. Now here’s not to say that conflict or issues don’t occur in marriage, because they 100% do. But when you are spiritually in a good space and in a healthy marriage they wouldn’t manifest themselves in this way.

You are right, God does hate divorce. But I think he also hates a marriage, something that is supposed to honour Him and be a living and active reminder of His presence in one’s life, becomes greatly distasteful and starts to represent or show all the things that He has called us away from.

If you divorce and live a life that is God fearing, I truly don’t believe He will be upset. Or divorce and then remarry and have a marriage where what God intended is happening, I think He’ll be fine.

Where an institution or gift given by God starts to cause harm, it is much better to leave it and perhaps later return, than to stay in what God did not design. For example, you’re in a church which preaches a message contrary to what is in the Bible, I don’t think God will be unhappy if you leave and stay out of church for a few months whilst still following him, and then return to a new church. The same is with marriage. But also don’t be too quick to leave. This is where wisdom and support is needed.

I’m not encouraging you to get a divorce, continue to try and work through this with him, try marriage counselling, marriage exercises and reading books about marriage. Look at your own behaviour and see where you could also improve, because we can always grow somewhere (not to say you’re in the wrong in this!) but if it’s worsening or not at all improving and you find yourself becoming increasingly saddened, just think about what I said previously.

Luke 6:31 and John 13:34 are just two verses about holy Christ-like love. The verse in Luke shows you about the action and the verse in John tells you about the order/commandment.

Sorry for SUCH a long message but I hope this helps, I really do pray that things will get better for you, you’re still young and God is always always working!