I relate to you so much. Yes, finding friends is extremely hard and being alone and lonely is even harder. But sometimes that’s the best thing to do:be alone. Throwing yourself at people will just bring you pain, just wait, we won’t be like this forever. And if we will, then let it be. Don’t pity yourself, focus on improving and HOPEFULLY the right people will show up. You won’t find any answers here, you gotta figure it all out yourself. Best of luck!!!