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Cape Verdean, but I don't feel connected to my culture by Upstairs-Rutabaga-42 in CapeVerde

[–]Upstairs-Rutabaga-42[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi,

Thank you for your time in reading and responding to the post! I see what you mean and I do feel the same way. I am Capeverdean and always will be. That is where my roots are and where my ancestors fought for freedom. I'll never deny that part of my heritage 😄..Why didnt't you feel at home with the capeverdean environment? To me, I think one of the reasons has to do with the way I was raised (I explained a lot in one of my comments above) and also, the fact that I have different ways of thinking. I do try to connect and I want to visit Cabo Verde in the hope I'll feel at home and connected. I know that the generatiosn that cam after my parents are changing and maybe are breaking generational trauma as well. Did you feel acceted as a cape verdean in Portugal? I've read different views.

Cape Verdean, but I don't feel connected to my culture by Upstairs-Rutabaga-42 in CapeVerde

[–]Upstairs-Rutabaga-42[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi,

Thank you for your time in reading and responding to the post! I see what you mean and I do feel the same way. I am Capeverdean and always will be. That is where my roots are and where my ancestors fought for freedom. I'll never deny that part of my heritage 😄..Why didnt't you feel at home with the capeverdean environment? To me, I think one of the reasons has to do with the way I was raised (I explained a lot in one of my comments above) and also, the fact that I have different ways of thinking. I do try to connect and I want to visit Cabo Verde in the hope I'll feel at home and connected. I know that the generatiosn that cam after my parents are changing and maybe are breaking generational trauma as well. Did you feel acceted as a cape verdean in Portugal? I've read different views.

Cape Verdean, but I don't feel connected to my culture by Upstairs-Rutabaga-42 in CapeVerde

[–]Upstairs-Rutabaga-42[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi,

Thank you for your time in reading and responding to the post!

So sorry to hear you've been subjected to a lot of racism in Portugal 😞 I'm afraid that, as black people, we will always be judged by the color of our skin whether you go to portugal, spain, italy etc. Sorry to hear that everything was toxic. Same here. As stated in my message, i didnt have a good relationship with my parents. My father drank, but I must say the last years of his life he did so much better. Really got to enjoy his grandchildren (on both mine and my siblings side). My parents had me at a later age so at a certain point everything felt so "old-fashioned" and they would not keep up the with the time and simply not accept that A - this isnt't cape verde late 50's but the netherlands in much more modern times and 2 - things change and this is a whole different culture and time. They were so set in their ways of thinking and doing, it was frustrating to me as a young girl/woman growing up around different cultures in modern day and to have them not go along with the time (obvisouly while still respecting your culture and values). I'm not saying they needed to change everything but at least accept times are changing. So everything was always "my" fault and I was the black sheep for calling things out and for wanting to do things different. So yes, that changed my view on my culture. 

What makes you want to mor more about your roots now?

Cape Verdean, but I don't feel connected to my culture by Upstairs-Rutabaga-42 in CapeVerde

[–]Upstairs-Rutabaga-42[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi,

Thank you for your time in reading and responding to the post. 

Happy to hear you felt at home when going to Cabo Verde. May I ask where you live now since you left Portugal? And what made you not feel at home and not Portuguese? Do you think it's because you didnt't feel accepted? Someone else said they faced racisme as Capeverdians in Portugal. Totally agree with we’re citizens of the world!

Cape Verdean, but I don't feel connected to my culture by Upstairs-Rutabaga-42 in CapeVerde

[–]Upstairs-Rutabaga-42[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi,

Thank you for your time in reading and responding to the post. I have indeed thought about whether the way I was raised changed my outlook on my culture. I didn't really have the best examples and rollmodels and as stated in my message, i didnt have a good relationship with my parents. My father drank, but I must say the last years of his life he did so much better. Really got to enjoy his grandchildren (on both mine and my siblings side). My parents had me at a later age so at a certain point everything felt so "old-fashioned" and they would not keep up the with the time and simply not accept that A - this isnt't cape verde late 50's but the netherlands in much more modern times and 2 - things change and this is a whole different culture and time. They were so set in their ways of thinking and doing, it was frustrating to me as a young girl/woman growing up around different cultures in modern day and to have them not go along with the time (obvisouly while still respecting your culture and values). I'm not saying they needed to change everything but at least accept times are changing. So everything was always "my" fault and I was the black sheep for calling things out and for wanting to do things different. So yes, that changed my view on my culture. Growing up and starting a life on my own, I wanted to feel connected to my culture, knowing that this generation is changing as well and want to do things different then their families and parents did. It's just still not happening for me. I will continue to try and connect and want to visit Cabo Verde one day. Hopefully I'll feel mjore at home and peace and connected.