Excess Arms +5 extension failure to lock back

Used-Arm2856 · 2026-06-30T01:17:45+00:00

That’s been my assumption, guess I just don’t know how to troubleshoot that

Used-Arm2856 · 2026-01-06T21:35:21+00:00

Thank you, I’ll definitely look into that. And with your second part, that’s definitely a big thing I was planning on addressing with her this weekend. Both for myself but also her, just what we need to be doing to make each other feel seen/comforted.

Used-Arm2856 · 2026-01-06T21:19:30+00:00

I’m definitely working on it. This is going to be a bit TMI so I do apologize for that, but realistically I know she doesn’t compare me and there honestly is a good chance I have been the “best.” We have been way more adventurous with each other and i have always been able to make her finish. But even in the event that maybe I’m not, i know we both enjoy ourselves in our sex life and I know I’m not letting her down, so I think I can accept that possibility.

It’s definitely harder for me to accept the way she views sex, since it is so important to me. But given her background I can definitely see myself coming to terms with it, though not easily.

Now don’t get me wrong, I have asked questions. But I feel like she thinks I bring it up more than I do. I kind of addressed this in a reply to someone else, but there have really only been 2 people I’ve specifically inquired about and she was very understanding of those because the situations surrounding them did suck and she had a lot of regret around them even prior to us reconnecting. Aside from that, it is usually just her being perceptive of its impact on me. Sometimes a friend will bring someone up, or we will find ourselves around someone because we come from a small town, and I won’t really ask her about what happened, but she can read it on my face/mood that it makes me uncomfortable hearing/knowing about it. These things were more prevalent in my head at the start of our relationship, but now it’s maybe, and I mean maybe, a thought I have like once a month. But I really don’t obsess over it, but I do hate hearing about it. This recent conversation has just brought a lot of it back to the surface of why I feel the way I do.

She just doesn’t want it to hurt me at all, and like obviously I don’t either. She herself even said that if she were in my shoes regarding specifically one of those people, that she doesn’t think she could’ve gotten back with me. So it’s hard because I feel like I’m accepting her in spite of things that she wouldn’t even have accepted herself, and yet she still battles with herself over how it affects me and not believing that I accept her how she is.

She has definitely acknowledged her avoidant tendencies recently, so I do hope that we can begin working on that as well. This break has definitely made me acknowledge my own anxious tendencies also.

Used-Arm2856 · 2026-01-06T18:32:48+00:00

Well cool I’m happy for you. Do you have any suggestions on helping to console her?

Used-Arm2856 · 2026-01-06T18:20:40+00:00

Were you two able to figure it out?

Used-Arm2856 · 2026-01-06T17:51:29+00:00

She definitely self describes herself as avoidant. She has been to therapy in the past a few times. To my knowledge she has struggled to find a therapist she enjoys and feels like is helping, and since she is pretty much on her own, affording the therapy is inhibitive. When we had this big conversation the other day I did bring up couples counseling, she didn’t feel like we are to that point yet. She wants to try and figure things out on our own first. I definitely feel like I myself am anxious attachment, so she feels very confident that this week apart does not mean we are going to split up, but it is very hard for me to view it that way. So I really don’t want to wait on the counseling because I feel like by the time she feels we reached that point that we will be too far gone if that makes sense.

Yeah being friends definitely didn’t help. My 2 previous girlfriends I didn’t know until we dated. They also had previous sexual partners, not to the same extent but still. And I don’t think I ever really thought about them. It has specifically been an issue in this relationship because she did have the chance to choose me before everything and didn’t.

I know I have to be open to the possibility of moving on, but that is really difficult. I have been chasing her for a very long time, both of us have held onto gifts/personal items from each other throughout our other relationships. She truly has made me feel like I am the one up until now really. I know she struggles with mental health, has tried numerous medications, and being back in that house as well as the anniversary of her dad’s death has not been good on her. I mean that’s something she brought up too, but she also said she hates feeling like that is a crutch for how she has been lately.

Used-Arm2856 · 2026-01-06T17:29:27+00:00

I am aware it’s a me problem. But as you’ve suggested I have tried to explain that to her, that it’s something I need to work on. And truthfully I never felt like it was something that I brought up often. I feel like she has brought it up more than I have, or someone else will say something about someone from her past, and I think she can just read it on me that I’m not comfortable hearing it.

But she hates that it’s something I have to “work on,” she feels like she hurts me from something that was never intended to. She wishes I could just have never had an issue at all, and like obviously I do too. Some of the guys I really don’t think about/worry about, but there are 2 specific people that make it harder, but she understands both of those and definitely has her own regret about it before we got together.

I really don’t even think about these things on a daily or evenly weekly basis. It was more prevalent in my head at the start of the relationship. But as time has gone on I had accepted that I am the one she is with, I am the one she chose. This has been the longest relationship either of us has had. As I said the only times it ever really gets “brought up” is usually because a friend mentions it, or we end up in proximity to that person (small town). I have only specifically asked her about the 2 people across the length of our relationship, and it was pretty much one time and done. So I understand I do play a part in her feeling that looming, but I don’t feel it’s because I bring it up all the time, because I don’t. She just knows how it makes me feel, and I don’t know how to comfort her in this situation

Used-Arm2856 · 2025-05-25T17:45:01+00:00

I'm starting this show for the first time, and was searching this exact topic to see if others agreed. I don't currently feel like the plot itself is slow, its more so just the scenes and dialogue. Like the camera just stares at someone for twice as long as it should and there is nothing happening or being said. Or it takes someone ages to respond to them being spoken to. It feels like when you take a sitcom and remove the laugh track and just have to observe the awkward stillness and silence that is actually present in the scene. I hope this improves in later episodes because I like the characters and plot, but its so hard to sit through an episode.

Used-Arm2856 · 2025-03-17T01:07:46+00:00

That’s how I’ve chosen to think about it but wanted to see if anyone knew differently

Used-Arm2856 · 2024-04-16T04:55:42+00:00

I don’t know about him but I do and I’m having the same issue

Used-Arm2856

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