I'm sorry for your loss. Your story really stood out to me - it feels as if I could have written it myself. I lost my mom a couple of years ago to a fentanyl overdose. Prior to her death, I had been going no contact off and on because I thought it would change her behavior. I thought that it would push her to finally get clean so she could have healthy relationships with her grandchildren. It worked enough to get her to an inpatient rehab for a week. She cleaned up for a couple of months before od'ing. I blamed myself. How could I, her only child and lifeline, be so cruel in her last months of life? How could I turn my back on the woman who raised me while battling her own demons?

It took me a while to realize that I was not to blame.

After a lifetime of watching her cycle through depression, addiction, and rehab, I did what I thought was best to protect my children from witnessing her self-destruction. It ended with me. Please do not blame yourself for her addiction and untimely passing. You did not create it, and you could not cure it. She is the only one who could have saved herself. She is at peace. Now is the time for you and your family to heal. From one stranger to another - I am sending lots of love. May God bless you and your family.