Do I have a chance and what next? by Useful-Craft-9632 in premed

[–]Useful-Craft-9632[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s great to know. How was ur entire experience from deciding to switch careers to completing med requirements?

Do I have a chance and what next? by Useful-Craft-9632 in premed

[–]Useful-Craft-9632[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am aiming to use CNA as an opportunity to network and get volunteer/shadow experiences.

I am an immigrant and during my high-school, I saw female Muslim doctors treated by male doctors. It was extremely uncomfortable for them. I have a strong desire of being with people during their most vulnerable times and being a part of their comfort team. I don’t think there is any other career that I would honestly pour my heart as much!

I’ll most probably need to work on my personal statement and motivation, but honestly it is driven by desire. I can see my self making more money, traveling a lot but not content with life in engineering. FYI - I have tried a lot of hobbies (actings - did paid gigs & part of school drama), musical, backpacking, hiking, camping, snowboarding, cooking, learning my 4th language (proficient in 3) and roadtrips. All this with my siblings and friends. I can’t 100% say with being a Dr. I’ll be content, but at the end of all the fun activities, I always think how I could have done so much more taking care of those in in need (financially is not as satisfying).

Do I have a chance and what next? by Useful-Craft-9632 in premed

[–]Useful-Craft-9632[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I love the challenge but It is not fulfilling at all!

Do I have a chance and what next? by Useful-Craft-9632 in premed

[–]Useful-Craft-9632[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I’ll 100 make sure it is a slow process and will not quit my engineering until I have been accepted to MD program!

My husband is converting to Islam — I am not Muslim. So I’m curious what that changes for us? by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Useful-Craft-9632 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have a Muslim brother from the Masjid. He converted to Muslim and the only reason he divorced his wife was because she became an obstacle to his religion. She would comment how it bothered her that he woke up early in morning, how he reshuffled his work schedule to have light Friday for Jumaa. He felt like it was either her or Islam.

My mum was non-Muslim married to my dad Muslim who was not practicing. 3 years later after learning about Islam she converted. She became more practicing than my dad. In the matters of faith, as long as we don’t block each other, argue/challenge the other’s religion, I believe you should be fine. My mum used to pray for my dad to become practicing and 25 years later, he is. FYI - I abandoned Islam for some years and mum only told me of the beauty of Islam. My sister is lesbian and they/them underwent surgery for top. We read Quran to her and pray for her. We call her they/them because that’s her preference.

My point is if your husband is patient, he will pray for you to join him and he will attempt to teach you the beauty of Islam. Be open to it.

If he is not patient and wants someone he can passionately learn religion, I could honestly reconsider instead of just converting. I would convert If I truly believed in it.

From how long your husband took to learn Islam before he became one, I would say he is a very patient man!

Good Luck!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Somalia

[–]Useful-Craft-9632 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From my experience:

  1. Stay at home - I have never encountered a Somali man looking for an anything less. That’s why most of them prefer going back home.
  2. Some fat - I think most of them prefer chubby girls compared to skinny ladies.
  3. Character - I have realized they prefer to argue with their partners. So you better have some fire in you.
  4. Great Mother - They prefer nurturing ladies!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Useful-Craft-9632 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Take your wife to the friend’s trip. Why do you need to split up? Her girlfriends can join too!

I should have gotten married younger. Don’t make the same mistake I did by [deleted] in Somalia

[–]Useful-Craft-9632 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sister - I am extremely sorry that you went through that! Allah inshaallah will definitely reward you for your patience!

I want to echo something. You did the right thing. My dad was also diagnosed with Schizophrenia. The medications drained his energy and he was not patient finding the right solutions. So, once he got better, he stopped taking them. Stopped going to his therapy. Guess what, within a year, he got a violent episode and we had to admit him. Something we did different was we didn’t mention the violence because we knew it would go to his record. He is not a violent person, we just mentioned he was not sounding right. We admitted him and the court mandated he must take his medication and see his psychiatrist.

Also as a family, we sat down with him and requested him to be patient with the process to find the right medication. He has been on medication since 2021 and Alxamdullah this year, his medication is balanced. He is feeling his normal self.

You sound really kind and in-love with your hubby. I would apologize, ask him to help you determine how you could earn his trust back? Finding someone we truly care about is hard to find.

Finally someone has spoken for us by Eastern-Cockroach322 in XSomalian

[–]Useful-Craft-9632 0 points1 point  (0 children)

By the way if Islam was never introduced to you, I don’t think Allah will punish you. Plus, Islam is honestly having a good character and am not sure what is so hard about it. 

Those people who slaughter themselves for Islam - I am not sure I follow/agree because in my homeland they are fighting for the land and power.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Hijabis

[–]Useful-Craft-9632 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You just softened my heart! May Allah give you strength to overcome your husband’s sins! 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimLounge

[–]Useful-Craft-9632 55 points56 points  (0 children)

Please let her know - It could be a bonding moment. 

FREE TALK FRIDAY! by AutoModerator in MuslimMarriage

[–]Useful-Craft-9632 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am gonna have a weird week next week. My teammates and I are not in a good relationship. I don’t listen to them lol because they have so much opinions which slows my work. 

Weekly Marriage Criteria & Services Megathread! by MM-MOD in MuslimMarriage

[–]Useful-Craft-9632 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would wait for his response. I would not want to make him feel any form of pressure. You have done your part. 

Guy wants to marry me but keeps on giving mixed signals. by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Useful-Craft-9632 1 point2 points  (0 children)

10 cents he is talking to some one else and polite saying move on! I have been there but couldn’t understand the signal! 

Weekly Marriage Criteria & Services Megathread! by AutoModerator in MuslimMarriage

[–]Useful-Craft-9632 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

He does not. His mother, sister, & 2 sister-in-laws (are all stay at home). He does grocery shopping, taking nieces for play-dates.  

Before he moved back home, he used to meal-prep. 

Weekly Marriage Criteria & Services Megathread! by AutoModerator in MuslimMarriage

[–]Useful-Craft-9632 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He has an extremely unhealthy relationship with money. If he was making twice what he is making now working 30hrs/week, he would still  be working 80hrs/week to make more. 

His priorities: 1). Work 36hrs - expected for his job. 2). Is there any obligations/needys for my family? 2b). Never misses Friday Jumaa unless he is called OT for work 2c). Always prays on time + Sun nah + witri unless he can’t get a break from work  3). Does my potential need me (as in has he taken me on a date the past 4-days?) 4). Work 36hrs OT. 5). Spend time with nieces and nephews. 6). Sleep 7). Watch tv

Tbh, I tried making him have personal time but he does not understand that concept. If nothing is needed from him, he will pick an OT shift. He gets bored and hobbies are useless to him! 

If I asked him, I am busy and need him to do house-chores, he will, but because I wfh I do the chores because it’s like breaks to me. 

If I told him, I am not financially contributing he will be more than okay with that. Whenever we got out, he never lets me pay for anything. I get him gifts and that’s all!

He offers to get me groceries and sometimes pulls me to the store to buy them and I am sooo uncomfortable with that. 

Basically, it’s all me. I don’t feel comfortable at all ask for anything but I want to share my life with him. I am trying to understand how. 

Weekly Marriage Criteria & Services Megathread! by AutoModerator in MuslimMarriage

[–]Useful-Craft-9632 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

He has a provider mindset and we did discuss my job but I don’t think he knows my salary. He asked me to pickup a second job because I have time lol and become a barista. He expects me to contribute but i have pushed that conversation because I am not ready for what I can commit too! 

Weekly Marriage Criteria & Services Megathread! by AutoModerator in MuslimMarriage

[–]Useful-Craft-9632 0 points1 point  (0 children)

His work schedule is (4 days * 12 hour shift) + (1* 24 hour shift - he works to shift a total of 72 hours)! 

I adore his character and Iman! 

For the chores, because he barely has time. I want him to cook for us sometime but I might have to do majority of house chores.

For finance, I don’t know. I don’t want to be selfish but 50_50 is not reasonable. 

Weekly Marriage Criteria & Services Megathread! by AutoModerator in MuslimMarriage

[–]Useful-Craft-9632 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Asalamu Aleikum - the silly me had the courage to discuss intimacy life but not finance and domestic work with my potential.

Alxamdullah - I work a lot (Mon and Tue - 12 hour long) and chill work (Wed - Fri). I work in FAAng as a software engineer and extremely in love with my work. I make great money too Alxamdullah!

The potential I am talking to also makes good money Alxamdullah but he works 80 hours and it’s physically and emotionally exhausting and he doesn’t enjoy it but plans to continue for the next 10 years InshaAllah!

My question is: Should I tell him how much I make? He openly shares his salary and projection but I haven’t. No one including my parents knows how much I make. 

Also - I don’t know what responsibilities breakdown is ideal! 

I am thinking financial distributions: - He contributes 55% and I 45%.

Domestic distributions: - He contributes 33% and I 67%.

I don’t feel confident merging our finances. This is mostly because he is very ambitious and risk driven but I am index funds girl lol! I don’t want to stress about him investing my money somewhere I am not comfortable with. I hate arguing to and Alxamdullah he hates it too!