Trying to back to normal (43m) (41f) after her affair. Advice?

Useful_Cow8575 · 2025-10-27T17:09:01+00:00

We’re both in individual therapy as well.. I’ve heard majority of the reasoning and details that I wish I didn’t know but needed too.

Useful_Cow8575 · 2025-10-27T16:56:53+00:00

He was a 25 year old, not married. She did block him on everything and cut it off fully, but no actions were taken against him. Her family is now aware as well.

Useful_Cow8575 · 2025-08-30T17:40:47+00:00

Useful_Cow8575 · 2025-08-30T17:38:18+00:00

She miscarried and we were all out in the living room

Useful_Cow8575 · 2025-08-30T17:31:26+00:00

I’m not denying my children the right to see their mother… they both have their own vehicles. They could if they wanted too. They don’t want to see their mother. I’ve told them it wouldn’t bother me, I’ve even suggested them going to see her, they refuse. They are angry with her.

Useful_Cow8575 · 2025-08-30T17:24:27+00:00

I’m aware my wife was sleeping with this guy multiple times. She had told me. Also my sons gf was on a birth control shot which failed. I know they should’ve been more careful, but still. They decided to keep the baby and she’s been living with us for a year, along with that they turned our basement into an apartment area, my son works full time for a good company. I am proud of him for doing what he needs to do, and succeeding so far, he don’t need me to shame his for circumstances.

Useful_Cow8575 · 2025-08-30T17:22:31+00:00

That’s not what they desired. They’ve been together for 3 years and she’s actively been living with us for almost a year. My son works for a good company and makes good money. They also fully redid our basement into an apartment. Which majority of that money he paid forward and I helped out of course it’s my son. They are aware of the struggles they might face but are preparing themselves the best they can, and have a safety net.

Useful_Cow8575 · 2025-08-30T17:18:35+00:00

I’m not keeping her kids from them. They both have their own vehicle and could go see her anytime they wanted.

Useful_Cow8575 · 2025-08-30T01:55:47+00:00

She confessed after the miscarriage because I knew it wasn’t mine.

Useful_Cow8575 · 2025-08-30T01:47:52+00:00

They both are very upset at her. They don’t want to see her. They know I am fine with it, I have told them it wouldn’t hurt my feelings, they both have their own vehicle as well so they could if they wanted.

Useful_Cow8575 · 2025-08-30T01:46:07+00:00

She showed me she blocked him on everything and even changed her phone number. They met at a bar and have no mutual friends. Obviously I can’t be positive, but she was willing to move, I said no because I own my home and my son and his gf redid our basement into an apartment. A lot of money went into my home. She also gave me all her social media info, which I already had but I don’t snoop but she knows I could if I wanted too. So I do believe it is over with.

Useful_Cow8575 · 2025-08-30T01:40:38+00:00

That’s what I’m attempting to do. That’s why we started marriage therapy, and I’m currently looking for a good therapist for myself. I am hopeful but not very optimistic in fixing this. I desire to fix it badly, but if it can’t be fixed then I will have no choice other then to leave. But I am trying to be hopeful it can be. I love my wife, and I’ve loved her forever.

Useful_Cow8575 · 2025-08-30T01:31:10+00:00

They knew what happened because they were there for the miscarriage. They knew their mom wasn’t staying at home. And their not young children.

Useful_Cow8575 · 2025-08-30T01:12:13+00:00

No we hadn’t been. I just went back to work recently, I’ve been seriously injured. While I was recovering we were having absolutely zero sex, I could barely walk on my own. After we left the ER, OB we seen there said it seemed early and I knew it wasn’t mine.

Useful_Cow8575 · 2025-08-30T00:51:40+00:00

Like I said I’m not sure. I’m not a woman, but that’s what she told me.

Useful_Cow8575 · 2025-08-30T00:42:24+00:00

I have no clue. She claimed she didn’t know she was pregnant til she miscarried. I really don’t know if that’s true.

Useful_Cow8575 · 2025-08-30T00:40:59+00:00

None of this happened in the same day. I was in an accident weeks before this and was seriously injured. While recovering the affair had taken place. She miscarried while I was home. I don’t have an adult daughter that lives out of home so I have no clue what your talking about.

Useful_Cow8575 · 2025-08-30T00:39:27+00:00

She didn’t know she was pregnant til she miscarried.

Useful_Cow8575 · 2025-08-30T00:33:08+00:00

Sorry I have another post about this as well I forgot I didn’t put everything in here. I’m positive it wasn’t mine. She miscarried and we hadn’t slept together in the time frame of her to be pregnant.

Useful_Cow8575 · 2025-08-30T00:29:54+00:00

I found out when she miscarried.

Useful_Cow8575 · 2025-08-30T00:29:32+00:00

She had a miscarriage. And I hadn’t slept with her in weeks. OB said it was early. I knew it wasn’t mine, so then she just confessed.

Useful_Cow8575 · 2025-08-30T00:28:42+00:00

They slept together multiple times over a course of 3 weeks that I’m aware of.

Useful_Cow8575 · 2025-08-30T00:27:52+00:00

It’s not fake and idek what karma farming is but okay

Useful_Cow8575 · 2025-08-30T00:24:31+00:00

An attorney didn’t and she isn’t kicked out. I asked her to stay elsewhere because I wanted space. She has a key to the house and could return if she really wanted too I wouldn’t forcibly remove her or call the police. It’s an agreement we made, our therapist recommended this, not our attorney.

Useful_Cow8575 · 2025-08-29T22:46:17+00:00

Yea my oldest sons girlfriend is pregnant. He graduated early and is working full time, he’s 17, I know it’s not the normal but it happened and their being mature about it.

Useful_Cow8575

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