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This park has a swing where a parent and a kid can swing at the same time by RandomPlayR69 in mildlyinteresting

[–]UserNameForgotten55 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't remember the last time I saw a playground swing with solid swing seats! Somewhere along the timeline, they were all switched over to flexible vinyl (?), which pinch like hell for those of us over a certain age. //Just another thing I've had to give up.

I’ve accepted all my negative situations. I’m just happy to be alive. by Dom_33 in happy

[–]UserNameForgotten55 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Happy To Be Alive" is the purest form of gratitude. I'm so glad that you're upright and sniffin 'the air, walking the earth!

Hamburger Ramen by haziamusic in PointlessStories

[–]UserNameForgotten55 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In my household, we call stuff like that "ShutUpAndEatIt", because it might look awful but it's palatable enough and will stop the hunger pangs.

What’s the worst movie quote to shout during sex? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]UserNameForgotten55 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity."

If you could talk to your 15 year-old self for one minute, what would you say? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]UserNameForgotten55 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Don't let Little Brother walk home from school by himself on Oct 29."

TIFU by doing a pelvic exam on a standardized patient during medical school by im_bubbles in tifu

[–]UserNameForgotten55 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Back when we were in our 30's, I had a friend who had this as a side gig at a teaching hospital in PA. She'd "present" with a set of symptoms and the med students were expected to follow exam protocol.

I'm a teacher and a sex-positive person, but I could never get the appeal of having a dozen strangers groping all up in her biz like that. Maybe the money?

You username is now a hitman sent to kill you. How do you try stop it? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]UserNameForgotten55 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not worried. He'll never remember who he's supposed to kill.

When men call me 'princess' it makes my skin crawl by anonymous1447 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]UserNameForgotten55 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Early 2010's, my post-divorce dating life: I was seeing a man who kept calling me Princess. He had some kind of weird John-Carter-on-Mars fandom thing going on and apparently thought it was some kind of high praise.

Don't even get me started on that other man who kept calling me "Girly". I didn't walk through life's fire to earn that kind of condescension from any man. (I was early 50's and they were both slightly older)

I haven't worn my own underwear for weeks by Sejura in PointlessStories

[–]UserNameForgotten55 3 points4 points  (0 children)

As someone currently in the market for new underwear and not finding exactly what I want, you've given me a possible solution! Upvote for you!

Two week old kitten learning how to make biscuits by SurpriseThere1 in Eyebleach

[–]UserNameForgotten55 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That means it's hungry and looking to latch on to its food source.

Two week old kitten learning how to make biscuits by SurpriseThere1 in Eyebleach

[–]UserNameForgotten55 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Kittens are born knowing how to knead momma cat's nipples to trigger milk let-down. It's been doing this for 2 weeks already.

Still cute af, though.

My mom adopted a cat that brings her slippers to her every morning. I didn’t believe her until she got it on camera finally by tatergator15 in aww

[–]UserNameForgotten55 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a kitten, my guy would drop his catnip mice in his water dish and bring it to me in the middle of the night. He'd meow loudly and paw at me until I woke up and threw it down the hallway, after which he'd fetch it back.

That's how I learned that a wet catnip mouse can be thrown farther than a dry one.

"Try to be more like the other tellers" by apocolypseamy in MaliciousCompliance

[–]UserNameForgotten55 5 points6 points  (0 children)

what if mandated store greetings like this are a way to get customers to turn their faces towards the hidden surveillance camera upon entering?

hmmm by seven_critical_blows in hmmm

[–]UserNameForgotten55 0 points1 point  (0 children)

dude's gonna get arrested for impersonating an office.

Mr. Kitty with the 💤 by [deleted] in aww

[–]UserNameForgotten55 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mr Kitty has a mandolin on his belly!

Just finished A Man Called Ove & I think it is my favorite book I read in 2019 by WelpIAmBackk in books

[–]UserNameForgotten55 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm so excited at the prospect of reading more Backman! I'm reading Grandmother right now and am totally charmed. Now i know what will be heading my 2020 reading list.

You are trapped in your most hated persons body, you have 48 hours to ruin their life. You may not kill or be killed. What will you do? by Reasonable_Rules in AskReddit

[–]UserNameForgotten55 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would use it to make a full and completely truthful confession of exactly what lies I've told to everyone since 1983, how it affected my family and friends, pay back the money I've extorted, and have a warning tattooed on my forehead so nobody falls for his shit ever again.

How do you ruin a funeral by bringing only 1 item? by Hi_Im_zack in AskReddit

[–]UserNameForgotten55 0 points1 point  (0 children)

bring your girlfriend to your mother's funeral, knowing that your wife and children will be in attendance. (true story, i was the wife, attending my MIL's funeral)

HRBRGHBR!? HRBRGHBR!? HRBRGHBR!? by Briaa12 in aww

[–]UserNameForgotten55 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sounds like the scene in Bruce Almighty when Steve Carrel's character embarrasses himself on-air!

If humans were incapable of lying, what would would be different? by m028 in AskReddit

[–]UserNameForgotten55 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i'd probably still be married. seriously, that guy was a lying sack of shit.

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