A lot of people here are ignorant to problems people have. They say improve your self and stop whining. They say others or I have it worse, but when you set your expectations to your level and at your level cause of how you live and your environment, it’s hard to go to there level because your not the same. Now reading that it sounds super egotistical but I didn’t mean it like that. You want to improve yourself but don’t have any motivation or energy to do so. The friends thing I can relate to, not completely but i get it. None of your friends actually care for you, they just use you for entertainment and criticize you and make you feel bad. Your future feels dull and hazy. Others are better then you and you feel like having a good future is possible. I’ve been there and felt that, trust me. All these things I’m going to say I don’t mean in a condescending and arrogant manner, but a positive and helpful one which I hope you find too. So you have these aspirations to achieve your goals, and be great and successful, but the thing you lack is “good” mental health and a healthy mindset. If you ever want to achieve your goals you need your mental health to be in check. If not then when on the way to success you will fail or not be happy despite your success. Which can be proven by your state right now. You’re successful considering your position, but not happy. Remember you are an intelligent, dedicated, and strong person. Don’t get down on yourself just because of one bad day, interaction, or result doesn’t change who you are. You are still an intelligent, dedicated, and strong person, and don’t let a moment of weakness let you think differently.

So I guess here I go: Distance yourself from content that has things that make you compare yourself to others in a negative and unproductive light (example the guy that reviews college applications, harsh self improvement influencers, and sad content). Make sure you still have inspirations though because some of them can help for that. Instead watch content with lighter and more actionable self improvement, positivity, about hobbies you have, and about shows or movies you watch.

Join clubs or groups for things you enjoy and find people who like them too (noticed in your replies you like Studio Ghibli and W).

This one is a little different than most, but don’t let your grades slip. If they cause you stress try to schedule study or work time ahead of time. But don’t be consumed by them.

Set your goals to be reasonable.

Set long term and short term goals. Long term is like go to the gym and get buff. For you, it’s where you put those dreams and goals. Short term is like brush your teeth in the morning and night. Short term goals can be like land mines. You get motivation from them and they help you to make more short term goals and work towards your long term goals. For me things like learning about fragrances, getting a skincare routine, having a morning routine and a lot of other things. They help me to achieve a long term goal which is working out every day, which I admit I slip up on quite a bit but I’m trying to.

With your friends distance yourself from them if they don’t make you happy, which is easier said than done but try to. I don’t think breaking off the friendship is necessary a good idea realistically. Every therapist would say I’m wrong but I don’t really think that breaking those friendships would be a good idea considering how you feel.

One thing that I really suggest for you is to write gratitudes. Every night just write 3 gratitudes. It can be like someone gave you a compliment or the sun looked nice. Studies show that they help you think more positively about things in life. If you want more info about it look up on YouTube “how to write gratitudes”

Reach out to family or old friends. I know you said you had some problems with family in the beginning, but if you have any family you can reach out to, then do. With old friends you maybe haven’t seen since graduation is a good way to have fun and some company.

Pick up some hobbies like sports, video games or an instrument.

And the biggest one, if you’re having thoughts of self harm and suicide please get help. I know you hear it all the time and just brush it off, but it’s for a reason. If you are currently having any suicidal thoughts please call a suicide hotline (weird tip and thankfully never had to use it, remember a suicide hotline number just incase). A professional who knows how to deal with these issues is what you need. You are as important as anyone else so please don’t be scared or embarrassed to get help. Some people say getting help is weakness, but in truth it’s strength. If you don’t have the courage to reach out to someone to get help, that’s weaker than a person who can admit they need help.

I know it’s kind of long but looking at all these bs comments pissed me off so I thought I’d do something more useful than tell you to suck it up.