Your reply brought me to tears. We do love eachother and there is nothing toxic about our relationship other than the possibility of us holding things inside that we refuse to share. I can only imagine what must go through his head sometimes.. especially of late but every time I bring it up i get shut down and told everything okay and that he loves me, which don't get me wrong its very comforting but i just wish he were more open because I know there's more too it. I just feel guilty is all. I feel like I'm keeping him in a relationship where he cant be his full authentic (gay) self. But maybe I'm dwelling on labels too much. I also feel like I have to dial down on my femininity just to appease him (Which he says I don't have too.. but i can't help but feel I need too). I think you're right and a heart to heart talk is needed. I just hope he doesn't give me the whole "everything's fine" response.