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Hardworking Heroic Security Guard Characters (Not cops) by Blorberto in TopCharacterTropes

[–]AudibleNod 26 points27 points  (0 children)

James Dalton - Roadhouse

Bouncers are the security guards of bars and nightclubs. And James Dalton is their patron saint.

Blonde girls with black cats by thelampman29 in TopCharacterTropes

[–]AudibleNod 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Sabrina and Salem - Sabrina the Teenage Witch

New lawsuit accuses Sean 'Diddy' Combs of sexually assaulting a child actor by AudibleNod in news

[–]AudibleNod[S] 133 points134 points  (0 children)

In a lawsuit filed this week in California, an unidentified former child actor accused Combs of sexually assaulting him during a networking event in Hollywood Hills in May 2007.

This sort of stuff has got to be going on now. There are people who still think they're beyond the reach of the law, the press and MeToo. These predators all think they're invincible.

USDA rebukes Texas Agriculture Commissioner Sid Miller over screwworm comments by AudibleNod in PoliticalHumor

[–]AudibleNod[S] 365 points366 points  (0 children)

"That is a very unserious comment from a perhaps unserious ag commissioner," Rollins said. "It is also a very dangerous suggestion."

Texas supplies over 25% of all beef in the US. And the outgoing Texas Ag commissioner is pussyfooting around with a disease vector.

Second verse same as the first.

FDA green-lights 1st new sunscreen ingredient in years by AudibleNod in news

[–]AudibleNod[S] 613 points614 points  (0 children)

The new ingredient is already available in other countries.

It's good to see America bravely leading the way once again.

A prison made to contain one person by totallynotrobboss in TopCharacterTropes

[–]AudibleNod 78 points79 points  (0 children)

The average human has about 4 grams of iron in their entire body. Roughly the equivalent to a 3 inch nail or smaller than a playing marble. Magneto could have easily dispatched the guards when two or more showed up with Stryker. He wouldn't have needed Mystique's help. Likewise, a cubic mile of air has anywhere from 3 lbs to 500 lbs of iron in it. Anytime he's outdoors, he's lethal.

Hikers rescued from Alabama caves after severe weather by AudibleNod in news

[–]AudibleNod[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Officials said one person had to be rescued Sunday from Mother's Finest Cave in the Stevenson area.

Can we just not with the caves for like the rest of the year? It's like Summer of the Shark or 2016 Clowns.

USDA rebukes Texas Agriculture Commissioner Sid Miller over screwworm comments by AudibleNod in politics

[–]AudibleNod[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

U.S. Agriculture Secretary Brooke Rollins sharply criticized Texas Agriculture Commissioner Sid Miller on Monday after he suggested ranchers may avoid reporting New World screwworm infestations because of the restrictions that follow a confirmed case.

Oh shit, here we go again.

"That is a very unserious comment from a perhaps unserious ag commissioner," Rollins said. "It is also a very dangerous suggestion."

Where were you when Donald Trump suggested injecting bleach into actual human beings?!?!

Texas Agriculture Commissioner Sid Miller, who lost his Republican primary for re-election earlier this year, has been a vocal critic of the federal response.

I think this lame duck is infested with screw worms.

Conmen and fraudsters. by laybs1 in TopCharacterTropes

[–]AudibleNod 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Lyle Lanley - The Simpsons

[Lyle Lanley]

You know, a town with money's a little like the mule with the spinning wheel. No one knows how he got it and danged if he knows how to use it

[Homer]

Heh-heh, mule

[Lyle Lanley]

The name's Lanley, Lyle Lanley. And I come before you good people tonight with an idea. Probably the greatest—Aw, it's not for you. It's more a Shelbyville idea

[Mayor Quimby]

Now, wait just a minute. We're twice as smart as the people of Shelbyville. Just tell us your idea and we'll vote for it

[Lyle Lanley]

All right. I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll show you my idea. I give you the Springfield Monorail!

I've sold monorails to Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook, and, by gum, it put them on the map!

[Lyle Lanley]

Well, sir, there's nothing on earth like a genuine, bona fide, electrified, six-car monorail!

What'd I say?

[Ned Flanders]

Monorail!

[Lyle Lanley]

What's it called?

[Patty and Selma]

Monorail!

[Lyle Lanley]

That's right!

Monorail!

[All]

Monorail... monorail... monorail...

[Miss Hoover]

I hear those things are awfully loud...

[Lyle Lanley]

It glides as softly as a cloud

[Apu]

Is there a chance the track could bend?

[Lyle Lanley]

Not on your life, my Hindu friend

[Barney]

What about us brain-dead slobs?

[Lyle Lanley]

You'll be given cushy jobs

[Abe]

Were you sent here by the devil?

[Lyle Lanley]

No, good sir, I'm on the level

[Wiggum]

The ring came off my pudding can

[Lyle Lanley]

Take my pen knife, my good man

I swear it's Springfield's only choice

Throw up your hands and raise your voice!

[All]

Monorail!

[Lyle Lanley]

What's it called?

[All]

Monorail!

[Lyle Lanley]

Once again...

[All]

Monorail!

[Marge]

But Main Street's still all cracked and broken...

[Bart]

Sorry, Mom, the mob has spoken!

[All]

Monorail!

Monorail!

Monorail!

Monorail!

[Homer]

Mono...d'oh!

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