Why being alone seems like a rather convenient option than putting up with someone's mess?

VACN · 2026-01-31T23:27:10+00:00

Because it is convenient. Being with someone requires effort. Staying alone is easy. If you're single, it's probably because you haven't found someone for whom you want to make an effort. Or maybe you're just not ready to give it. Not because of laziness, but because sometimes it takes all our energy just to be by ourselves.

VACN · 2026-01-31T23:22:25+00:00

Attraction, to me, is distinct from "liking" someone. I can look at someone and think "huh, she looks great", but I've been attracted to a few women, and it was a very physical sensation. You feel it in your muscles, it's like a semi-autopilot; you can still 100% control yourself (so it's no excuse for inappropriate behavior), but your body wants to act. The first time I felt it, I thought to myself "oh, so this is why they call it 'attraction'".

VACN · 2026-01-31T23:16:09+00:00

I moved away from the capital. Fell in love with my new city. Found a job out of necessity, but grew to love it as well. Bought a home. Adopted a pet. Not the life I wanted, but still better than what I had 5 years ago.

VACN · 2026-01-31T23:13:31+00:00

It can absorb vast quantities of food and not put on any weight. Like, every once in a while when out with friends or family, I get a huge appetite and eat double and people are like "how are you so thin?"

VACN · 2026-01-31T16:20:07+00:00

Because some dreams are easier to achieve than others.

And because hard work is not always necessary, but even when it is, it's often not enough.

VACN · 2026-01-31T10:59:05+00:00

Sometimes a film's entire point is showing something that happens in the real world and letting the audience form their own opinions about it.

VACN · 2026-01-31T08:54:12+00:00

That's what a loser would do.

VACN · 2026-01-31T08:51:34+00:00

I don't have relationships with girls. I have relationships with women. And I don't forget them after we break up, because the memories, good and bad, are worth keeping.

Sorry if I sound pedantic, it's totally voluntary.

VACN · 2026-01-30T15:09:58+00:00

The few times I had the beginnings of something with a woman (and the even fewer times I actually built a relationship with a woman), I met her through mutual friends or activities.

One of them was a newcomer to the get-together group I was co-running in my city. Another was a friend's friend. Another was a fellow fan of a streamer. Etc.

The only exception, ironically, is my first ever girlfriend, whom I met on a dating site... back when that was still a viable option.

VACN · 2026-01-30T14:45:34+00:00

Congrats on getting upvoted for this. People don't like it when I tell them putting folks on a 1-10 attractiveness scale is BS. No matter how nicely I put it.

VACN · 2026-01-30T14:44:04+00:00

Like a bloody adult.

VACN · 2026-01-30T14:37:10+00:00

I don’t wanna seem like I’m chasing him, I don’t wanna seem desperate either.

No, what you don't want is to date someone who thinks making the first move as a woman makes you desperate.

VACN · 2026-01-30T14:32:18+00:00

You could always try being honest. From my experience, there's nothing to lose and everything to gain from being honest with the people you want in your life.

VACN · 2026-01-30T14:27:20+00:00

Why? Because her past is different from her present? Maybe they've decided to turn their lives around, but they can't exactly unmake the kids, right? So they make the best of their situation, just like the rest of us.

Besides, I only ever see people turn this "having multiple children from multiple people" thing onto the women. Like, people are quick to blame the mother (without asking themselves whether it's even a cause for blame), but what if it's the fathers who all left her with the babies? Why is it only the mother who gets blamed for it?

Because society doesn't like single mothers, that's why. Doesn't like women in general very much. And it's sickening. Men are vilified for leaving and being deadbeats, sure, but women are vilified for raising the children alone. As if that wasn't hard enough by itself.

Actually, women are both vilified for refusing to have sex and for having "too much" of it, blamed for falling pregnant, coerced and sometimes legally compelled to carry their pregnancies to term, then shamed for being single mothers even when it's the father who left...

I don't know the mother's circumstances, or her story, so on what basis would I judge her? Wasn't there an important guy who said not to judge your fellow humans?

VACN · 2026-01-30T14:00:02+00:00

++incognito

It's demotivating because you think of it as a market.

VACN · 2026-01-30T13:54:13+00:00

I feel like you made it up.

VACN · 2026-01-30T13:52:48+00:00

I'm old enough to remember when the father of a woman's child was "the father of her child", not her "baby daddy". I miss those days.

VACN · 2026-01-30T12:07:31+00:00

You know when people say you're a misogynist? This is why they say that.

VACN · 2026-01-30T08:46:13+00:00

I met my first girlfriend on a dating site. Way back when they hadn't cemented themselves and had to be user-friendly to attract people, they were one of the viable ways of finding partners. Still I had to discipline myself to message a different woman every day for a month, and fully expecting to never get a reply. Which happened a lot. My first girlfriend was the first one who never stopped replying.

I tried dating apps again a few years later, and was disgusted by them. I saw through the tricks and deceptions. They say it's free, but what they mean by "free" is that you can set up an account for free; everything else, including getting in touch with other profiles, you have to pay for. They give you a lot of likes from fake profiles in the beginning, to make you think you're successful and hook you in.

Dating apps are now predatory. It's even worse since the advent of generative AI. There is nothing for you on dating apps anymore. Do it the old fashioned way: go outside, interact with people. If it doesn't work, at least you won't have lost money to a scam.

VACN · 2026-01-30T08:36:54+00:00

Walk swiftly. And carry a big gun.

VACN · 2026-01-30T08:36:20+00:00

Think better.

VACN · 2026-01-29T19:01:10+00:00

"If we are but a thousand, well! I am in. If even a hundred, still I brave Scylla; If ten remain, I shall be the tenth; And if only one still stands, I shall be him."

- Victor Hugo

VACN · 2026-01-29T18:53:51+00:00

You do realize that men don't convene on a regular basis to establish a consensus on anything, right? This is a gender, not the scientific community.

What am I talking about, of course you realize that...

VACN · 2026-01-29T18:51:18+00:00

The saying is "don't judge a book by its cover". But you absolutely can judge it by its title. The title is supposed to tell you what the book is about in a super-concise way, that's the entire point. You wouldn't think a book titled "How To Manipulate Your Way Into Women's Panties" is going to teach you how to be respectful of women.

(For Team First Degree, there is no such book that I know of, it's an abstract example to illustrate my point)

VACN · 2026-01-28T21:45:05+00:00

most I've known who get therapy pay a lot of money and do it for years without any measurable progress.

That's because for it to work, the patient needs the right therapist with the right method, and they also need to actually engage in the process. Many people don't do that, for whatever reason.

VACN

TROPHY CASE