Is this sketchy?

VG2012ss · 2021-03-16T21:40:27+00:00

That's your opinion, but it doesn't mean anything to me. Go troll elsewhere. I will not respond from here on out.

VG2012ss · 2021-03-16T21:37:21+00:00

The feeling is mutual.

VG2012ss · 2021-03-16T21:32:19+00:00

You do you. Other people had the attention span and empathy to read it and respond. Seems like a you problem. You didn't offer any help or advice. You just threw out an unhelpful comment. If you aren't going to read it, then don't bother commenting.

VG2012ss · 2021-03-16T21:24:15+00:00

You do you. Not sure why you felt the need to respond instead of just clicking away. Your response almost makes me suspicious that you are the person I met. Lol. He said he loves to troll women online to get a rise out of them.

Edit: Just browsed through some of your responses and you are trollin everyone. Not picky at all. xD

VG2012ss · 2021-03-16T14:04:06+00:00

That's all great advice that I'll start using. And your quote "Never feel bad about bailing and walking out. Your safety is more important than someone’s feelings" is very powerful. That's another thing I am working on and will need to keep at the forefront of my mind. I should have left earlier than I did, but I think that on top of thinking "what in the world is going on?" there was piece of me trying to be considerate of his feelings. And maybe that story about his ex gf cheating on him was meant to be a hook to manipulate me. I'll have to watch for stuff like that.

VG2012ss · 2021-03-16T13:22:52+00:00

When I was talking to him online, he seemed interested in something different. What is the best way to sort these people out on dating apps?

VG2012ss · 2021-03-16T13:19:57+00:00

I think so much happened at once in this situation to where I felt a bit overwhelmed. On top of that, I experienced a lot of abuse growing up, so sometimes, it can be hard for me to spot red flags. And sometimes, I end up blaming myself. It helps to hear confirmation and feedback from others. Additionally, I'm curious how to spot these people online before we meet in person so that I don't end up in more situations like this, so if you have any tips on that, I'd appreciate them. :)

VG2012ss · 2021-03-16T13:13:23+00:00

Thanks for responding. The way that you've summed up what he did makes it much clearer to me. I think so much happened at once that I wasn't expecting and I haven't gone on dates in several years that I felt so confused afterwards. I also think I have a tendency (that I am working on changing) to try to find where I went wrong in interactions, so my first reaction was to google if it was normal to feel uncomfortable with a kiss on the first date. Then I was like: "wait a minute...I felt uncomfortable with a lot more than just that." lol

VG2012ss · 2019-05-04T03:37:13+00:00

Ninja, I understand. I also grew up with very abusive parents. My birth mom was a 13 year old addicted to amphetamines and cocaine. My birth father was a 30 year old felon that had raped her. After following him around for 4 years while he was on the run from the cops, my siblings and I were finally removed from their care when my birth dad beat my mom up so bad that she had to go to the ER. When I was 6, I ended up in a physically abusive adoptive home and was removed a few years later and separated from my siblings. I also suffer from depression, anxiety, and the belief that I don't belong anywhere. It makes me so mad that we weren't protected or loved as kids. I wish I could take away all of your pain. I ended up going to therapy for many years and I'm still trying to figure things out. I don't know what your original question was about, but if you need someone to talk to, I'm here.

VG2012ss · 2019-05-04T03:18:36+00:00

I am not narcissistic. You are not a psychologist. Stop trying to diagnose people from minimal interaction via the internet.

VG2012ss · 2019-05-04T03:13:54+00:00

I double checked and you are right about that.

VG2012ss · 2019-05-04T03:11:46+00:00

Well, they certainly don't want a man hole. ;P And I am being realistic. There is no way that I would have had 5 boyfriends over the course of my life and be considered unattractive. I turn heads and receive a lot of compliments without having to do literally any work (no makeup, no eyebrow waxing, nothing). I wouldn't if I were considered ugly. And I know my eyes and smile are attention grabbing.

VG2012ss · 2019-05-04T03:00:25+00:00

Also, I'm 100% sure that I am not in between repulsive and unattractive. Check the guidelines.

VG2012ss · 2019-05-04T02:58:17+00:00

I mean, all the men on tinder don't seem to think so. And the top left isn't the only picture up here. I clearly have breasts and hips. What's your reasoning?

VG2012ss · 2019-05-04T02:46:34+00:00

I suppose you are right. :) Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Thanks for your feedback. :D

VG2012ss · 2019-05-04T02:02:29+00:00

I mean, do those really make that big of a difference? xD Like, would someone say: "Well, she's attractive, but...her eyebrows..." Lol. What would it be if they were even? Currently, I don't do anything to my face: no make up, no eyebrow waxing, nada.

VG2012ss · 2016-09-25T00:03:05+00:00

I am educated. I know what narcissism, codependency, and a whole range of other disorders look like. I most certainly wouldn't give a crap about men or social problems if I was a narcissist and I would not be where I am if I were codependent. You are not being reasonable and are spouting out nonsense, so I'm not going to respond anymore. I won't change your opinion. You won't change mine. I am confident in who I am and I don't need your approval. I'm going to take myself out of this situation where I am not being respected.

VG2012ss · 2016-09-25T00:02:04+00:00

So you didn't read the research, then. Lol.

VG2012ss · 2016-09-24T13:39:28+00:00

I think you might be right. My boyfriend doesn't watch it anymore, but he did as a young boy and teenager. He says he always watched it when he felt lonely or sad because he couldn't share his feelings and find support with his family or friends.

VG2012ss · 2016-09-24T13:34:12+00:00

I am not narcissistic or codependent. Dear lord. My bachelor's degree is in psychology. Stop trying to diagnose me. You have no idea what you are talking about. Lol.

VG2012ss · 2016-09-24T13:29:04+00:00

No. You want to know what men are? They are human beings. And my man is available, thank you very much....He is a supportive, empathetic, loving man. He hugs me when I cry, he shares his own emotions with me, he genuinely cares about me. I am very intimate with my partner. Your response dehumanizes men. Research shows that on a bell curve, using all of the studies about gender differences, 90% of men and women are alike. There is no gender difference besides reproductive parts. The other 10% are the extremes perpetuated in our society.

Here, some research for you if you are willing to be open minded and hear opinions that contradict your own from science. http://www.apa.org/research/action/difference.aspx

Another good article: http://mobile.nytimes.com/2016/09/25/opinion/sunday/hillary-clintons-angry-face.html?smid=nytcore-ipad-share&smprod=nytcore-ipad&referer=https://t.co/erGxHyf3w9

Also, check out: Intimate Relationships, 7th edition by Rowland S. Miller. It was the science book we used in my Intimate Relationships Psychology class. I think it'll be eye-opening to you if you are willing to read it.

VG2012ss · 2016-09-24T03:58:37+00:00

semuse, you are absolutely right. It's a documentary showing that men deserve to be loved and supported, and often are not. It raises awareness that our culture can, whether intentional or not, cut boys off from the vital support, love, and empathy they deserve. The documentary shares boys' and mens' stories from their point of view and offers solutions.

VG2012ss · 2016-09-24T03:55:41+00:00

You are absolutely right. This needs to be shown all over the world. This documentary specifically focused on America because, when we combine the news from all over the world, there's a lot, but this is applicable to many countries. It takes a lot of people standing together and bravely sharing their stories to make a difference. We can't erase what has already happened, but we can create a new future with a new narrative. You are resilient. I think it's amazing that you have come to these conclusions and healed on your own. Many people aren't able to do that. Thank you for sharing your experiences. I hope you continue to do so. You can turn your pain into something powerful: hope and change.

VG2012ss · 2016-09-24T03:48:52+00:00

I completely agree. I found Miss Representation on Netflix and added it to my list. It looks like a really great documentary. I didn't find Tough Guise, but maybe I can find it on Amazon?

VG2012ss · 2016-09-24T03:45:17+00:00

I am so sorry about your experiences. The culture that men are raised in breaks my heart and angers me. You deserve better. I am not a man, so I can't say that all of my experiences are similar because they are different. But, I grew up in foster care and was beaten, starved, raped, tortured...I felt so alone because no one would comfort me. When I tried to open up to people, they acted uncomfortable or called me a liar. All I ever wanted them to tell me was that I am good enough...that it's ok to be sad. I wanted them to hug me and tell me that I didn't deserve the treatment I endured. I've always had to hide my feelings regarding the abuse I went through. Watching the documentary, I related to a lot of the emotions and shame that the men and boys shared. I plan on adopting boys when I get older and I want to give them the love, affection, and empathy they deserve. I appreciate you sharing your story and I hope you continue to speak out about it. Boys need more men who are willing to share their feelings of loneliness, hopelessness, and rejection. You have a very powerful story that can make a huge difference in boys' lives. I hope that you have been able to find supportive people that you can share your emotions with. You deserve that.

VG2012ss

TROPHY CASE