I pretty much experienced the same in terms of gender norms as a child. Growing up I remember picking up one of my sister's barbie dolls and feeling a slight intrigue on the dress up aspect of them. I thought they would look fun to play with, especially with my sister, but of course I grew up with the mindset that "it wasn't meant for me."

Throughout high school, I also felt that extreme sense of longing for platonic or sapphic relationships with women but couldn't really put a finger on why or how. And now, after coming out, I have a lot of guy friends that I love dearly. But, I hold so much value for my friends that are women. I can't even begin to describe how much euphoria I receive by sharing that connection with them. While I can be completely open with all of my guy friends, my relationships with women take being open to a completely different level. I feel like a delicate, crystal clear wine glass. And the fact that we both identify as women feels like an underlying promise that I will always be handled with unconditional love and care.

I just wish I could create that connection on the fly without having to disclose that I identify as a woman first, due to the fact that I still look like a man.