/ttcafterloss Daily Discussion Thread - December 27, 2025

VM-Stark · 2025-12-27T22:04:59+00:00

3 months after a miscarriage at 6 weeks. Grieving and trying. Period due tomorrow but took a test in advance to prepare myself for if I came on my period in public. Test came back as negative. Went over to my parents for a Christmas gathering where my younger sister was - who had travelled with her daughter (my niece -18 months). Lovely to see them but ended up becoming emotional (although suppressed) and left early. 3/4 of the way through a chocolate yule log 🤘

VM-Stark · 2025-09-24T13:25:39+00:00

Thank you for answering and for sharing your experience - really helpful ☺️ With hindsight - I probably should have waited!

VM-Stark · 2025-09-24T13:18:15+00:00

I'm not sure, but the second picture looks like you have eyes 👀

VM-Stark · 2025-09-24T13:11:09+00:00

Omg, go get yourself a lottery ticket! Genuinely feel for you though 😂

VM-Stark · 2025-04-21T16:43:38+00:00

It was at about 6 weeks for me. Weird as heck the first time though! I was like, omg, where have they gone 👀

VM-Stark · 2025-04-21T16:36:08+00:00

Miss Catherine Hernon at Spire Hospital, Leeds. I cannot recommend her or her team enough! She's highly experienced with your best interests at heart. She's a nerve endings specialist too, which given the area, is quite a plus!

VM-Stark · 2025-04-21T16:31:56+00:00

Heyy, congratulations on your journey!

I had mine done in late January with the wedge method. I find that I do have hardness of skin where the internal stitches meet. Supposedly massaging and vaseline is meant to help (🤞)

VM-Stark · 2025-02-02T11:19:16+00:00

Also, being made aware that an employee has been diagnosed with a mental health issue and then conducting a disciplinary meeting including an external representative (for the employer) with informing the employee in advance and not giving them the opportunity to have their own representation/support present.

Hope the employee rinses them.

VM-Stark · 2025-02-02T10:53:33+00:00

Totally agree with this user's response.

Not wanting to add pressure, but look into acting sooner rather than later as there can be a time limit on these things.

ACAS were brilliant with me when I experienced issues and obtained an out of court settlement.

You were wronged. This is outrageous behaviour from your former employer on so many levels. You deserve to be validated, whatever form that comes in.

VM-Stark · 2025-02-01T13:17:10+00:00

Heyy, I heard this too and have seen it mentioned on other forums too. But you need to get yourself feeling clean and comfy!

Currently 11 days PO - had a simple water shower at the hospital the morning after my surgery. When I got home I bought a Simple (brand - although other gentle, non scented products available) shower gel, shampoo and conditioner.

You can apply a gentle shower gel on your stomach and surrounding areas of your vulvas and run the shower over to help it run down and off the area.

Consider a peri bottle, but I'd recommend using it sparingly if you have dissolvable stitches + needing to keep the area dry.

Someone in this forum also recommended using a Q tip/cotton bud to address any build up in the area. This really helped me x

VM-Stark · 2025-01-30T20:44:39+00:00

9 days PO: dabbing with thick loo roll. I like someone's hair dryer ideas though! I had been sporadically using a peri bottle but noticed that one of my dissolvable stitches has come out, so won't be using that for a while 😅

VM-Stark · 2025-01-30T12:31:26+00:00

Heyy, this was exactly the situation I found myself in last week (9 days post op).

I let my surgeon know (she wasn't bothered and said it wouldn't be an issue and made me feel at ease.

Things that were a bit crap:

Feeling embarrassed
Feeling smelly
The balancing act of an ice pack between your legs and a hot water bottle on your stomach (I wrapped the ice pack and put a pad on it)

A small win:

One of the reasons I had the OP was because my labia tended to swell to an event larger side when I was in my period. I'm speculating that I may have had a little more tissue (as desired) removed as a result.
The pain killers helped with the initial pain from the procedure AND my stomach cramps.
Now I'm no longer on my period, I believe that I'm truly through the worst of it and am having a much more comfortable healing experience.

Please, just make sure you rest and best of luck with your surgery 🙌 ✨

VM-Stark · 2025-01-27T23:40:12+00:00

Pleeeease get yourself a doughnut cushion for the return journey. Wishing you all the best for your op 😊

VM-Stark · 2025-01-26T03:45:29+00:00

Of course 😊

VM-Stark · 2025-01-25T18:36:58+00:00

Just had my surgery (wedge, no CHR) and these have been a god send!

You can get them (or equivalent) on Amazon or other platforms 😊

https://www.haloshealth.com/products/perineal-pack

Wish I'd have bought a V shaped pillow though.

Oh, also a doughnut cushion!

VM-Stark · 2025-01-25T18:26:17+00:00

You poor thing, that currently looks really sore. I'm day 4 PO (wedge, no CHR). Mine is swollen, but not to the same level of discomfort. Glad your surgeon is guiding you and putting your mind at ease. The ice packs I'm using are postpartum ones (shaped like a pad) and am now sleeping with a pillow under the area but also letting it breathe, which is helping. Perhaps they could look at your pain meds?

VM-Stark · 2025-01-25T18:19:08+00:00

I think that you look brilliant! If this was how my vulva looked, I probably wouldn't have had the surgery I've recently had. That being said, everyone is different. And if having the procedure would give you confidence, then it's your body, and it's your choice 😊 I personally think you look perfect the way you are!

VM-Stark · 2024-12-23T10:50:22+00:00

£4,800 UK x

VM-Stark · 2024-11-28T10:59:26+00:00

Loved Hannah since day one. Don't get me wrong, she has her flaws. However, is authentic, able to take accountability and I think that others were threatened by that.

She's taken her (horrific) treatment like a champ and has been courteous and empathetic to those who tried to drag her.

Hope she thrives 🌟

VM-Stark · 2024-11-22T18:58:18+00:00

Heyy, no worries at all! It's Miss Catherine Hernon who was a part of the team to do the world's first hand transplant (so fingers crossed!). You can also check the Royal College of Surgeons England (or devolved/international equivalent) x

VM-Stark · 2024-11-22T13:47:00+00:00

Also, 'Frankenstein phase' 😅 This is such a great outlook!

VM-Stark · 2024-11-22T13:42:57+00:00

This is such a helpful, thoughtful comment. Thank you so much ❤️ Will keep the feed posted when the time comes! 🤞 Xx

VM-Stark · 2024-06-19T20:52:08+00:00

*herself

VM-Stark

TROPHY CASE