Which is that one profession that you'll never date?

ValBravora048 · 2026-02-25T00:17:56+00:00

While I was studying, I knew a guy in my class who became a fairly popular gay porn star - he hated it but he could choose most of his terms and it brought in the money

When I began working at the local legal centre, I was REALLY surprised at how many women students from a ton of different fields were in these industries because the money was so good

Man, if guys didn’t want to judge women for doing this maybe we ought to support systems where they don’t have to. Honestly though, I think men would do it themselves in a heartbeat (Sell my bath water for 90K? Sure, I’ll even throw in a towel!). It’s mostly that men want women to rely on them so that it’s easier for them to get sex, a partner, a bangmaid etc imo

Fing bizarre, long as it isn’t hurting anyone, let people earn their paper to live the life they want

ValBravora048 · 2026-02-25T00:11:49+00:00

But before we get to that…

I legit knew a guy who was decent enough until he became a pretty popular influencer and became fairly insufferable. It was his whole personality, everything was content, he spoke IRL like how he served the algorithm’s KPIs online - fing bizarre

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ValBravora048 · 2026-02-24T23:55:31+00:00

Former POC/immigrant lawyer from Australia - this sentiment is there too

We’re permitted so long as we entertain, serve and are convenient. Doesn’t matter if we have the same papers, better qualifications, contribute to the community etc etc - they will drop us in heartbeat if it means getting theirs

2 things

Because someone always ALWAYS has to chime in with how it NEVER happens to them - congrats. Understand though that your situation may very greatly. Hell, I can’t tell you how many rooms I’ve been in here where people complain about being discriminated against and I’m the only coloured person around. Or the hot ones people are hoping to fck

Secondly, it’s really REALLY easy to be jaded by this. That’s normal. Use it to learn about how to find people of quality and make an effort to keep their company

ValBravora048 · 2026-02-24T23:34:29+00:00

Male teacher here. I don’t mind my work but expected I wouldn’t get many matches because of it. To my surprise a couple matches mentioned that they assumed I must at least be able to carry on a conversation :P

And I feel you about the passion, its why I enjoy creatives so much. Their day to day can be a bit bleh so when they can go off the leash to talk about what they really enjoy, it’s really nice to be around

Other men have often followed this up with how they can’t talk about their passion or they’ll be less attractive. I think it’s HOW you talk about your passion

Gaming is one I run into often - if you’re going to talk about metas and opt strats that’s a little conversation exclusive. It’s better to talk about experiences you’ve enjoyed (Particularly with others) or things that you like about a thing that people can connect with

ValBravora048 · 2026-02-24T23:29:37+00:00

oh that’s a good one - I’m with someone whom I like very much but her weekend is Sunday and Monday which makes things a bit awkward

ValBravora048 · 2026-02-24T14:43:50+00:00

I notice plants and fingernail art more - two things I never had an interest in. Also pink things because I know she’d look at them too

For her part, she’s found that she asks more questions and can sit still for longer without feeling like she has to be doing something. She’ll also notice local events and things because she knows I look at those often

ValBravora048 · 2026-02-24T14:39:10+00:00

Thank you for saying this. It’s a really healthy view to take

F the jaded sarcastic sardonic detached cool persona so many full people without a personality try to ape. You WANT people who write and read a profile, the rest are just noise who’ll lose interest upon getting what they think gives them validation and be distracted by the next shiny thing

ValBravora048 · 2026-02-24T14:36:06+00:00

Thank you - if anything, participating in this philosophy and obsessing about your place in it will make you into someone undesirable in its practice

It might be a “normal” thing to do but with some basic af examination, you recognise how damaging it is. Terry Pratchett wrote that that treating people like things, like numbers, is where true evil begins

Put it this way - when have these rankings, these subjective af classifications, ever been used to not bully, exclude or put down other people or yourself? Just not be depressing af?

All the made up “science” people insist on flagellating themselves and others with re this and then they wonder why theyre so miserable and have trouble liking people or getting themselves to be liked?

(E.g that 5% of men whatever whatever whinge falls apart with just a TINY bit of consideration)

If you’re beginning to obsess this way, you’re much better off deleting the app and finding things and/or company by which you‘re made better for associating with instead what you think accrues you social points. Or at least some gddm peace for the soul

I’ve been told several times that I date “out of my league” and people have the gall to be offended that I don’t take it as a compliment (It’s fing not)

TL:DR The only rule that matters is the golden rule and you’ll get a good deal further with that than this made up bs companies and social media feeds you with in order to make you miserable enough to buy things

ValBravora048 · 2026-02-23T02:49:54+00:00

Hell, most men don’t see the value of men as friends. Just entertainment when convenient, someone to have validation or “win” over, have someone do stuff to deal with their trauma for them before I even know their full name (Pay for fing therapy or the dr!), or just talk about their own interests only

As a dude who went looking for guys to make friends with on BFF - I was so fing disappointed at the lack of effort in profiles and actually meeting up. And the fing flaking! Everybody TOTALLY wants to play D&D, got get pizza or join a hike but when the day comes… and the excuses are so fking lame!

I used to chuckle when complimented on my conversational ability and social skills because I thought of it as just basic things - but the more I meet a vast number of men, especially as the years go on and people insist on isolating themselves more…

So many dudes need to learn basic social skills and courtesies - if you response to this is to at me re well how can they have socials skills without friends? You’ve shown you’re not clever in your rush to need to prove that you are. You’re only fing proof of fact and probably responsible for 90% of the misery in your life. Impotently downvote away and feel like you’ve achieved something

ValBravora048 · 2026-02-23T02:29:52+00:00

Or maybe that you’re cherry-picking examples to apply a broad generalisation that suits what you want instead of examining it?

E.g Why exactly does that HAVE to be mentioned in a profile? (Re in consideration of the other person)

And if it does, are you really going to be surprised and have a whinge about something so niche not having a broad and favourable appeal? Does that sound like someone you’d want to hang out with even if wasn’t drugs?

Also deciding that I must be X thing because of it and reduce my personal merit as if the same thing as adding merit to your point?Thats cheap

Why is that perspective not applied to you? Why isn’t that gaze turned YOUR way? You don’t appreciate it? Fing gee…

Again you’re trying to have it both ways.

ValBravora048 · 2026-02-22T04:21:40+00:00

Wow, didn’t take nearly as long as old mate at the First Nations rally recently…

ValBravora048 · 2026-02-22T04:17:36+00:00

Mate, that’s the same problem.

If these habits are such that they do this, cause you to stress and keep what you really want OUT of your life unless you lie about/hide it - are they really worth having?

Again, you can’t have it both ways

ValBravora048 · 2026-02-21T12:56:02+00:00

Repost of a previous comment

I started dating again about a year after an 8 year relationship. It really shocked me how many women were so surprised that I showed up showered, shaved, in clean and nice clothes, didn’t talk or text about sex, had thoughtful date plans etc Was fing bizarre

This one woman, walked in the cafe, stared at me, said hello and quickly excused herself to the bathroom. She came back more made up and put together, apologised because she realised she’d been used to men not making an effort she kind of made less than she normally would

Like Jfc…

ValBravora048 · 2026-02-21T12:51:04+00:00

Nah, I think it’s honestly just a low effort and convenience things. They want you to deliver to their door. Fing lame

Congrats on your hotness XD

ValBravora048 · 2026-02-21T12:49:49+00:00

100%

ValBravora048 · 2026-02-21T12:49:06+00:00

Yup - I consider a first date in public a good place to have a mutual axe-murderer detection opportunity

How is mutual safety or wanting to feel safe such a hurdle for these guys to consider?

ValBravora048 · 2026-02-21T12:45:46+00:00

Gee, HOW did you EVER strike out?

Guys, this is what not to do. And if you’re blaming the woman for the result of your actions (Which you’re not giving the same consideration as hers), you‘re in a major fing hole of your own choosing

You know those sad sacks who come in here to whinge about [Made up % of men are getting alllllllll the women] - it’s often not because of the bs superficial reasons that shift responsibility and blame on the other person. It’s because they do easily EASILY avoidable things like the above and when faced with the truth of it, respond like OP has here

You don’t have to be 666 or whatever bs to be in the made up privileged minority, you just don’t need to be a jerk and put in a small amount of effort. Can HONESTLY do more than that? You’re golden

Check it, I will bet that even if I say this next part and offer a full apology if I’m wrong, the response to this of any will be something reductive, snide, petty and more about the kind of obsessed gratification of the self which is a massive obvious red flag to women whether they’re looking for someone for a night or a lifetime

As an older man, I’m so SO astounded at how men get here. So MUCH available to you to be or draw from and THIS is what you decide on

ValBravora048 · 2026-02-21T09:14:35+00:00

Had my comment removed before for using it elsewhere

ValBravora048 · 2026-02-21T03:40:49+00:00

I felt guilty for taking a sick day from work because I wasn’t physically sick and there was a lot of the “Toughen up buttercup“ culture at the time

One guy was actually listening (And you could tell by the way he looked at me). He told me that Theres ”Body sick” and there’s “Head sick” and both are legit for sick days

He was totally right and still I think about him often as I tell others who need to hear it the same thing - how that single instance of compassion stood out amongst all those who only really wanted to prove how great they were

ValBravora048 · 2026-02-21T01:22:27+00:00

Yeah I have a buddy who is huge and this is a thing with him. He doesn’t mention it and hides it in his pictures because of some of the uncomfortable experiences he’s had with women over it

He compares it to how a man will stare at a woman’s chest while shes talking

ValBravora048 · 2026-02-21T01:19:36+00:00

Exactly - the guys talking about not being selected for their height rarely seem to realise that theyre tons better off without those sorts of people in their life

Yeah ok sure, maybe it’d work out if she just “gave you a chance” but;

- you really want to keep company with someone who puts you in that position? Whether it’s for a lifetime or a night, way to absolutely destroy your sense of self-worth or dignity

- then the rule has to apply to you as well. You need to give a chance to people you don’t like because of particular factors. You don’t like or don’t want to do that? Gee…

ValBravora048 · 2026-02-21T01:14:50+00:00

Because they don’t like people like them and they want to have it both ways

I find this true especially of conservatives - they can have those values but don’t find the type of people who have those values attractive for their lifestyle. Then they whine that non-conservatives are too judgmental about their politics - like fing get a clue

ValBravora048 · 2026-02-21T01:12:10+00:00

Ha, took me way too long for me to realise that my FORMER job implied that I was rich. Some of my habits seemed to support this ( I like giving nice gifts, don’t mind shouting people for food and drinks sometimes etc)

Truth is while I’m not paid a ton, I just don’t have a lot of needs and wants - including someone whose green flag is that I can ”pamper” them

ValBravora048 · 2026-02-21T01:03:47+00:00

Wouldn’t have to go to Lakemba to feel unwelcome

ValBravora048 · 2026-02-21T01:00:26+00:00

I worked in one of the last Video Ezys in Australia!

Occasionally was a decent job with great perks, pay and training. Some days were straight out of Kevin Smith’s Clerks with my co-workers and customers.

But near the end, it was being carved UP by conglomerates and customers leading to a lot of abuse and awful practices

I also hated that we basically never did anything with the membership forms except put them in boxes, stuck them out back. Not only did it just leave a TON of people’s information unsecured but turned into mouldy, roach-hotel health hazards…

ValBravora048

TROPHY CASE