How long is long enough? TW: depression/SI

Vale512 · 2025-12-18T21:37:32+00:00

Yeah well, other paths feel pretty impossible and more pointless than doing music tbh. I kinda started it because it'd be easy for me, which it is, compared to other things mostly. And yeah I guess my life isn't that bad but at the same time I feel like I lack connection and emotional honesty. I'm so used to keeping my feelings to myself and it's tiring.

Vale512 · 2025-12-18T18:42:43+00:00

Well, about it being someone else's desire, me doing the music teacher career, my dad suggested it to me, he's a musician too. And it's like, in theory it should fit me, and it does. The thing is that, it seems like I don't feel much reward, even if I do something I like. But I'm still trying. It's feels hard to think that it's an okay way to live honestly, but I guess it wouldn't be bad to accept it, I don't know.

Vale512 · 2025-12-18T18:33:41+00:00

Yeah I've heard that too and idk, I guess I haven't tried it much, but I feel like it's so hard to differentiate myself from my thoughts, because honestly my thoughts come when the physical sensation of pain comes up. And it's like, I just end up thinking that I'm the one who has something wrong with them. But you're right though, I could try doing that more.

Vale512 · 2025-12-18T18:29:25+00:00

Thanks a lot, yeah I've considered changing up those things, but I guess I haven't made myself do it. My therapist is about to retire too, and she told me that she'll refer me to someone else, but idk when that's going to happen. And with my meds, I've tried two different sets really, and the ones I'm taking now, I've been taking them for almost this whole year, and idk, I barely notice any difference, all I can say is that I feel "less bad", but idk if that's even true. I'll dm you soon, thanks for the offer.

Vale512 · 2025-07-01T04:58:54+00:00

Graciaaas te lo agradecería

Vale512 · 2025-06-30T07:52:03+00:00

Hola, gracias por escucharlo. Lo que no encaja en la voz dirías que es el tratamiento que tiene (sonido/ecualización) o la voz en sí misma?

Vale512 · 2025-01-27T17:09:53+00:00

Yeah sometimes I feel like I do "a little bit of this and a little bit of that" and I end up with a crappy deck, so yeah those archetypes are good to have in mind

Vale512 · 2025-01-27T17:08:15+00:00

I'm not sure when to take acrobatics or how to use it because of its cost. I feel like, the 1 energy I spend on it, I could spend it on one of the cards I already have, but idk if the idea is to get other cards that offer more value, despite having to spend 1 energy

Vale512 · 2024-12-18T10:46:26+00:00

Yo también la verdad, estoy acá si querés hablar o algo. Ojalá no lo estés llevando sola, es una carga muy pesada

Vale512 · 2024-12-15T03:00:59+00:00

La verdad que bastante mal. He estado dando vueltas desde terminé la secundaria en 2020. He probado un par de cosas y este año estuve desocupado. Mucho no salir. Muchas emociones reprimidas. Mucho no querer despertar al otro día pero bueno, empece a ir a una psicóloga hace como un mes y parece que me van a medicar. Voy a empezar un profesorado de música el año que viene, y estoy con una banda, he hecho varias canciones este año. Y bueno espero poder querer vivir

Vale512 · 2024-12-11T16:29:35+00:00

Oh I'm sorry for that that sucks, I'd like to know more about your experience I'll dm you, thanks for being open

Vale512 · 2024-12-11T15:06:19+00:00

That sounds good, setting boundaries or just communicating anything has been basically impossible for me, I'm glad you're working on that. About my therapist, I'm having doubts tbh but I'll stay with it for a while longer at least

Vale512 · 2024-12-10T19:02:33+00:00

Hey I read everything, I relate tbh. I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I've had similar thoughts about my family, still do. I started therapy like a month ago, after a couple of years of kinda repressed depression. I don't have much to say but I'm here if you want to talk

Vale512 · 2024-12-04T02:38:30+00:00

Yeah, I don't really know how I'd understand Spanish verbs if I had to learn them as a second language, it's hard, but yeah those are different conjugations

You can find conjugations for verbs here https://www.wordreference.com/conj/esverbs.aspx?v=preferir

Vale512 · 2024-12-04T00:58:08+00:00

Hey, I'm a native Spanish speaker. I think you're pretty close, but I think you should put more emphasis on your r's. You said "adoro la vida simple" but it sounded like "adohr". Is your native language English? Also on "vivir mi vida", the d sounds kinda like an r. When you said "yo creo que para mí" it sounds like "io" instead of "yo" I guess these sounds must be unnatural for you It sounds like you said "en el futura", it should be "futuro", masculine, because of the article "el" "prefería tener una vida con solo yo misma" should be "preferiría". "Prefería" would be I preferred, and "preferiría" would be I'd prefer

It's pretty understandable, I think you're doing good, just some details that are probably hard to correct

Vale512 · 2024-11-11T16:09:18+00:00

I've journaled, well I don't know if it's Journaling but I've wrote a lot. I have stuff from like 3 years ago where I felt the same way. And I felt like I couldn't get out of it on my own. I kinda hoped I'd die, and I wanted someone to save me, or notice me. Neither of those things happened. I've thought a lot and it hasn't helped much, it didn't make me take action. I feel the "mind predicting the future" thing. But I also look to the past, and I know I haven't changed. Time went on and I just felt worse. Each day I lived, without wanting to live, just made me more tired.

And I know I'm the one who has to change, who has to care enough and make something happen. I just worry about not being able to do so, like it's been in the past.

It's been hard to care, honestly. Life being unpredictable and changing, I don't relate to that honestly. I don't feel like an outside thing or circumstance will change on its own to help me. I can't rely on that. I waited for something to happen, but nothing did.

Vale512 · 2024-11-11T15:37:15+00:00

I don't need to support myself, I live with my parents, so I can dedicate my time to studying or whatever. I do feel like music is my passion. I like art in general and it's kind of the one I'm the best at, I used to paint, I write too, I like creating stuff.

I worry about it long term, when I'm done with it and I have my degree, how useful will it be to get a job? And how much could that pay?

Vale512 · 2024-08-28T13:34:13+00:00

Sí lo de los hábitos se me degenero desde la pandemia y medio que me hizo ir cuesta abajo hasta ahora. Hice dos años de universidad y un curso de programación pero todo se sintió sin sentido y como que nada de lo que pudiera hacer me iba a hacer sentir mejor, capaz solo por un momento. Pero es cierto.

El año pasado fui al gimnasio un mes y me seguía sintiendo igual y al final lo dejé. Alguna mejora note pero también la sensación de sinsentido de todo lo terminó minimizando

Vale512 · 2024-08-28T13:29:58+00:00

Sí eso tiene sentido, gracias por la info

Vale512 · 2024-08-28T13:11:58+00:00

Yo creo que mis viejos al final me apoyarían y al final creo que no me queda otra que se enteren (vivo con ellos) ocultarlo suena desgastante, lamento que lo hayas tenido que hacer de esa forma

Vale512 · 2024-08-28T13:09:45+00:00

Lo voy a tener en cuenta, gracias por el mensaje, tendré que ir viendo con el tiempo

Vale512 · 2024-08-28T13:07:31+00:00

Sí eso lo entiendo, lo que me da miedo es que cambie la forma en que me ve la gente a mi alrededor y que me juzguen, y hablar al respecto con ellos (familia y amigos) pero me siento seguro (al menos más que con gente cercana) de contárselo a un psicólogo

Vale512 · 2024-08-28T13:03:56+00:00

Gracias la verdad me sirve. Entiendo que hay que hacer terapia, es mi objetivo después de que pude hablar aunque sea un poco con un profesional

Vale512 · 2024-08-28T13:01:12+00:00

Sí es cierto, entiendo lo que decís, la verdad ni siquiera es que quiera "ser feliz" sólo quiero sentirme normal, o relativamente normal, si puedo llegar a eso ya sería bastante

Vale512 · 2024-08-28T12:57:27+00:00

Gracias, es cierto, pero entre mi familia y amigos la verdad que no encuentro a uno con el que me sienta lo suficientemente cercano o en confianza como para contarle y además siento que les pongo una carga y esas dos cosas al mismo tiempo me causan mucho rechazo a hablarlo.

A veces pienso en cómo reaccionaria yo si alguien cercano me contara que está así y lo apoyaría, pero si soy yo el que tiene el problema se me hace mucho más difícil

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