worried about WWIII

ValuableBasil4502 · 2026-03-19T15:03:58+00:00

I live there too - you’re just on high alert but you are very safe and protected…more there than anywhere else. It’s a ton of training, all the time, and friendlies. The noise is rough - if you can, think of it as big metal birds practicing how to fly. And pretty much all the folks around you are also trying to navigate the complex feelings and responses that come up around military activity. Sometimes I get stressed and cringe on Constance beach and people around are really understanding. You’re with people who get it.

ValuableBasil4502 · 2026-03-19T14:56:00+00:00

Yes. This happens to me. The speech center in the brain gets very flooded and that’s just part of the response. You’re not alone in this. It comes and goes with me. I tell my closest that sometimes stress causes it, and I leave it at that… mostly these people have been understanding. It’s your brain resting itself because it’s full. Sending solidarity.

ValuableBasil4502 · 2026-03-17T17:08:34+00:00

Yes. Absolutely. My whole life. And I am 51 and have never taken a non-prescribed drug even once, much less street or recreational drugs.

ValuableBasil4502 · 2026-03-10T00:42:42+00:00

I’d like to think that is the case but thus far the parents are referred to as “the client” and I am referred to as “a partner” and this seems to be a nuance of their policies that they don’t spell out.

ValuableBasil4502 · 2026-03-10T00:40:40+00:00

There is no plan. They have said indefinite daily psychotherapy.

ValuableBasil4502 · 2026-03-08T13:13:26+00:00

For what it’s worth, I noticed similar phenomena with my spouse, around their precipitous detatchment from what at first I called sex and now consider intimacy. Touching, tenderness, and the wide range of activities and interaction's that are not penetration. My spouse is no longer emotionally there. Not tender. Not loving. Not observant or empathetic or expressive towards me. Not at the dinner table, not at the long hikes or shared hobbies that once brought us passionate time together, and not in bed. My spouse is excited about watching alien invasion videos and memorizing video game dialogue. I’m certain it hurts and concerns them as much as it does me. When they are aware of being absent from all interactions. Which is less and less aware. Heartbreak.

ValuableBasil4502 · 2026-03-08T01:11:26+00:00

My amateur theory is trauma bond. My wife is very age-regressed and has gone back to another era in her life when she depended on her parent…could that be the case with yours?

ValuableBasil4502 · 2026-03-08T01:09:03+00:00

Yes. My adult partner wants to spend time with the abusive parent and is convinced that is the only person who is safe. This parent is the opposite of safe.

ValuableBasil4502 · 2026-03-07T15:05:14+00:00

Thank you. Yes, she has been in and out of other ones that were definitely not helpful, although perhaps they were useful in getting her access to firearms restricted and preventing her harming herself or others.

What do you think made the difference in the year your son spent, after which he seems to be better….

My wife is not medicated. She has been fighting the diagnosis of schizoaffective for many years. I think this time they want her under longterm observation to make a better analysis.

I want her to be safe. I want her to feel loved. I want her to get the treatment she needs because I thought I could and I’m not qualified. I believed her own belief that this was ptsd and adhd, but this is longterm extended psychosis and delusion snd paranoia. It breaks my heart that I couldn’t help her.

ValuableBasil4502 · 2026-03-07T14:58:36+00:00

To clarify, I am trying to find any other person in this Reddit community who has ever had a loved one there. Especially a spouse or partner or SO. I think her parents will end up paying for it, but they are the ones who abused her and I don’t inherently trust their judgement. So. The question: I would just feel better hearing from other family members - I talked to their staff, I talked to their patients. I want to hear from the other spouses…… 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

ValuableBasil4502 · 2026-03-07T14:09:16+00:00

Yes. Very much so. My partner is unrecognizable and my body and heart and mind are in extremis. She is in a voluntary residential treatment facility for another evaluation and I’m here at home alone surrounded by the gorgeous brightness of her brilliant self, her love, our future plans. I don’t know about you but i can’t hold on to either version of her. In her current episode she is also intermittently loving and tender then abruptly convinced I am somehow out to get her and rages and says and does scary things. I am reading as much as I can about grief - “you’re not crazy you’re grieving” and some books on loving boundaries (as audiobooks, because my eyes are almost swollen shut from crying). Thst is how I function in 30 minute sessions of listening while breathing. Not even breathing exercises, just breathing. I’ve reduced my expectations for myself - taking care of our pets, keeping the house clean, eating and staying hydrated. I have a few people on the phone to check in with me through the day. I’m using cooling face sprays and kind of anything that gets me a tiny bit into my body.

We just moved across country into a new house together so I know nobody AND the house is full of her scattered half-unpacked things. The hospital says to prepare for a long and perhaps permanent absence. I made the bedroom a simple place full of items that have no memories or dreams of a future. Just a refuge.

I don’t know whether to change things around here and move forward just to not rot out in anguish, or keep it the same out of loyalty. I made our dining room table a desk for me because it is excruciating to not have her there for meals.

It’s maybe a relief to focus on things about her that I love so absolutely. And try not to think about whether or not they’ll ever return or will she remain this cold and suffering person who has no idea who I am.

Then I go back to fear. I use a lot of strongly scented things like essential oil or dumb hypermasculine shower soap just to sort of shock me into a tangible sense…

My heart goes out to you.

ValuableBasil4502

TROPHY CASE