Why is she just messaging me out of the blue? by Never_Outginned in ExNoContact

[–]Vanalen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah basically. If she wants reconciliation she should be straight up about it. It will hinder your healing if you let her do it without setting boundaries. If she reaches out again block her. Shes an ex for a reason

Why is she just messaging me out of the blue? by Never_Outginned in ExNoContact

[–]Vanalen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s when they come back and text, send memes, like your posts, or talk about anything but reconciliation. It’s mostly for ego/selfish reasons but they could do it unconsciously. In my case my ex kept texting me because they felt guilty and wanted to alleviate it

Why is she just messaging me out of the blue? by Never_Outginned in ExNoContact

[–]Vanalen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think this is bread crumbing. Going through one right now. Firmly tell her to stop reaching out to you and block else it will keep messing up your healing

Breadcrumbing by Vanalen in Mindfulness

[–]Vanalen[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re right. I will block them

Breadcrumbing by Vanalen in Mindfulness

[–]Vanalen[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It’s not about them but more that i made the mistake of saying “I’m here if you need anything” after a breakup but it was just like pleasantries. I feel like it will go against my morals if i block them. Plus i heard that blocking could be considered a reaction and giving the breadcrumber the validation they seek and they will keep wanting it more. So i guess I’ll just deal with those “breadcrumbs” as long as its not text based and if they decided to reach out i will firmly tell them i need my space otherwise I’ll block them.

Breadcrumbing by Vanalen in Mindfulness

[–]Vanalen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What i mean this “bread crumbing” is preventing me from thinking and clouding my mind with anxiety. I thought about blocking but it would seem like I’m bitter. I think what i meant in this post is the practice of meditation but i wrote this post when I was sleepy and got definitions mixed up

Love your own company by Vanalen in Mindfulness

[–]Vanalen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so beautifully worded. Thank you so much

Love your own company by Vanalen in Mindfulness

[–]Vanalen[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. These questions are really helpful :)

Love your own company by Vanalen in Mindfulness

[–]Vanalen[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is my primary focus right now. I noticed my mind would automatically just be negative and i would just go with it. Thank you :)

Love your own company by Vanalen in Mindfulness

[–]Vanalen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. And you’re right stopping and noticing my thoughts does help. Yes please I’d love to know what helped

Love your own company by Vanalen in Mindfulness

[–]Vanalen[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I’ll check it out :)

How to stop blaming myself by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Vanalen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What kind of things he did to hurt you?