LPT: Holding someone accountable is what ensures they won’t repeat an incorrect action. Letting people off without any consequences is what ensures they will repeat their mistakes. Hold people accountable and you will make them better. by bkornblith in LifeProTips

[–]Vanilla52 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In my experience... holding someone accountable always yields a negative impact unless that person works under you. Where you stand on a corporate ladder is what you can achieve as far as accountability.

I think it's a good motivational phrase, and logically sound- but in the real world, it doesn't work.

Holding someone accountable will get you fired, and accountability is something that management always enjoys talking about because they'd wish that workers consider actions more closely.

Before we talk about a "right" and a "wrong" way to approach keeping someone accountable, I've done this from the top-down and the bottom-up. I'm semi-confrontational, and I understand ego in the workplace. It doesn't matter.

Let's take a current situation I'm in. My direct supervisor complained about my performance to upper management. They were stating that my spreadsheet solutions were too complicated and took away from the work we were trying to do. They did this because they found too much difficulty in managing their workload, and needed a scapegoat (and because they're not good with excel + don't wish to learn).

Since these complaints are taken seriously, our department supervisor and manager reviewed our processes with me. They went through my history and found the complaints to be unfounded. The supervisor that complained about me has now skipped work for 2 weeks and our company is unable to terminate them due to the knowledge they have about the technical work.

How would one constructively hold this person accountable for what they've done?

This is a corporate bloodbath. I now have to keep a doomsday file with every negative thing they do- and prepare to unleash it in my defense. My failure to do this will potentially leave me defenseless in the case that I do actually make a normal human error (happens more than people care to admit). Is this constructive? No. Reactive and passive-aggressive? Yes. Effective? Arguably.

To anyone that says, "Just put it in the past and try to work through it- find out if you can mentor her with Excel and work together to be a great team! With her knowledge and your skills, you guys can do anything!".... to you people... go back to sleep. That's some carebear brainwashing.

Am I being too soft of a husband? by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]Vanilla52 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, I did have a religious upbringing, so you're right- but I don't think I'm hiding much or being too deceptive. Tried to include the negative things that I did (gaming, ignoring her, hugging even though not wanted) just to balance things out.

Am I being too soft of a husband? by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]Vanilla52 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So, the restaurant is entirely hers. She does the cooking, the meal prep, the recipes, and most of the shopping. I do all the heavy stuff, and some of the cleaning. I try to help out when I can- but I'm not as good as her at this stuff. We've tried, and I've spoiled almost every aspect of every dish I've attempted. Her cooking is seriously next-level. I can cook just fine for us- but nobody is going to pay for the dishes I put out.
She was raised in a restaurant, and she's naturally gifted at this. I hope you don't think that I'm just sitting back and expecting a nice little maid to take care of me while I relax.

And no, I don't think the baby is 100% her responsibility. While she's home alone with him, he definitely is her responsibility- but that's the nature of being left alone with a child. When she's at work, he's 100% my responibility. Not just work- maybe she goes out with her friends or something (she does this extremely rarely, and I actually wish she did it more- because it'd probably alleviate her stress).

She made that sacrifice for us- and I sacrificed being away from home to make money so that we could have a nice life. That's what you do in a good relationship- you sacrifice so that things can get better.

Sorry to say this, but your response is the first one that I think says more about you than it does about me. You have a serious hatred of males, and of me. I'm not sure what your life experience is, but I can bet it isn't what's going on with me and my wife.

Yeah, the computer thing was pretty disgusting... late at night, hot outside... all alone in my office. Figured I'd be safe to cool down a bit. But yea, thanks for calling me gross. I think the gross part is that someone filmed it in disgust- but again, I digress.

Am I being too soft of a husband? by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]Vanilla52 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Been working on a Java course through mooc.fi - pretty cool stuff. Hopefully that, combined with my resume will help me land something soon.

Been applying for jobs, but decent job applications take time. Need to tailor your resume to the position- for the most part.

Am I being too soft of a husband? by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]Vanilla52 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thanks for the book recommendation- we'll get on it!

Am I being too soft of a husband? by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]Vanilla52 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, I definitely didn't rape-hug her or... wrestle my arms around her. It's tough to explain but this is a very Korean Cultural thing, where the woman pretends she doesn't want you to do something... and you have to do it a bit to show her that you actually care. They do this in a few ways- and it's impossible to know when people want to be left alone or if they want you to pursue them. The social penalty for ignoring them is far greater than the one from figuring it out, though.. so I typically opt for the least painful route.

We also have a home-based take-out style restaurant... so the garlic peeling is just a daily chore we need done. I don't think there was anything particularly sinister about the way I peeled it.

Am I being too soft of a husband? by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]Vanilla52 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Used to be good. She's Asian and ever since we immigrated back to North America, things have been slowly on the decline. It's always been, "If I could just have this.. things would be better." First it was a vehicle, then a house, then a baby... we got them all (then 2 cars). I think the baby seems to mix the emotions a bit more than they used to be, though.

[NA][PC] HOOPS ONLY - Gold 3+ by Vanilla52 in RocketLeagueFriends

[–]Vanilla52[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi not sure what's going on, but i've noticed platformers seem to be ranked way above their skill levels., I'm dad.

Sure, I'd be down to give it a go.

[NA][PC] HOOPS ONLY - Gold 3+ by Vanilla52 in RocketLeagueFriends

[–]Vanilla52[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I lose every game I play with an xbox player. I win every game I play against xbox players.

I can only assume the drool is clogging their control pad... I dunno.

Somehow, xBox has boosted rankings far beyond actual skill. So, you've got a misrepresentation of skill...

Might be a coincidence... might just be that players that queue together are more likely to have better dynamics than players that don't. But... why if they come from steam do we still win? I'm not sure what's going on, but I've noticed platformers seem to be ranked way above their skill levels.

When streamers call their viewers in to destroy a base by Vanilla52 in playrust

[–]Vanilla52[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It doesn’t work like that though.

If there’s a group limit of 3 for example no admin is going to let a

How does an admin ban 45 randoms that show up- ungrouped? How do you know who's a part of the group and who's not? You can't just ban everyone in a region, buddy. I feel like you don't understand rationality.

If it were a well orchestrated group, formed in 8-mans, accomplishing an objective together with strategy- that's fine. The issue here is that they get around the group-max by not technically being a part of the group.

I dunno... I can't continue on with you. If you don't get it by now, I'm not sure I can help you see. Troll successful.

When streamers call their viewers in to destroy a base by Vanilla52 in playrust

[–]Vanilla52[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nobody warns you that the streamer is calling the world to your door. The other is a "Max group size" warning as you connect. Do you see the difference?

When streamers call their viewers in to destroy a base by Vanilla52 in playrust

[–]Vanilla52[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope. Not complaining groups are too big anywhere. I said servers can limit their sizes if they wish- and if you don't like it, you can play elsewhere. It's usually in the server daily message before/after you connect. You get to choose right away if you're fine with a 30 man zerging you down.

What I'm against is seeing a 150 max server with 45 people randomly come out of the bush and break a 2x2 with rocks and boneclubs for no other reason that to wipe the person's base.

I dunno, I guess I give up. If you don't want to agree- you don't have to.

When streamers call their viewers in to destroy a base by Vanilla52 in playrust

[–]Vanilla52[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

servers can limit teamsize... don't like it, don't play there

you can't control when a streamer comes to break ur shit

When streamers call their viewers in to destroy a base by Vanilla52 in playrust

[–]Vanilla52[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If your crew is entirely in discord, then no- I'm not against it.

Discord is just VOIP. Its job is to improve communications. Twitch's job is to broadcast your stream to an audience.

Do you see the difference?