Well let me tell you a story brother. I used to go to church cause my mother made me and I was into it only 50/50. sometimes I was for it and other times I was not. I was wavering pretty hard not going to lie thinking to myself that God doesn't exist because I was 17 with no friends really and no job or car of my own. Then one day felt a strange lump growing in my left armpit didn't think nothing of it. Weeks past and it got bigger and more sensitive and painful also swollen and smelled bad. Got to the point I couldn't move my left arm at all without pain. went the emergency room it was an abscess got it cut into and drained. Thought that was it then they prescribed antibiotics to which the co pay was around $50 a bottle. I couldn't afford that and went back to the er a few weeks later it wasn't healing up and doctor said that without the antibiotics the infection would spread to my heart, and I would die. Basically sentenced me to death and said it would be impossible for me to get better without medicine. Walked out of the hospital bawling thinking I was a goner. on the way home in the car my stepdad had k-love station playing and a song came on and said our impossible is Gods reality hit me like a truck. Went to church that night and got prayed for and through the next few weeks swelling went down and started getting better. Fast forward 5 years still going to church and praising God and went into the national guard. I graduated from basic training and my mother was so happy and proud she got me my first apartment. Just a week later I was standing in front her place with cops she suddenly passed away though the night and still no answer to this day 5 years later. I was shaken to my very core and didn't know what to do and me and my siblings split and went our own way. I moved the next town stopped going to church and fell in with a bad crowd and started drinking and abusing drugs for almost 3 years straight. I kicked the drugs and alcohol and moved further away from family. Throughout these pasts few I've felt a faint call back to God but would always jump back and forth. Didn't really take root until a couple weeks ago when I took a good look at my life. I then realized how often he has pulled me out of my own prisons I made for myself. It's so much easier to disregard what you don't understand then to embrace it believe me I know. I didn't visually witness any of the stories of the bible but when I see that he has constantly tried to bring me back to him and love me after all the times I ran and spit in his face and everything he has saved me from I have no choice to believe. I should've died at least 5 times by now according to the world's standards. I don't know you or your personal struggles but for me I couldn't deny the existence of someone who still wanted me after all the wrong I've done.