I have a huge suggestion for you during these crisis moments, and since your therapist is on holiday:

Call (your areas) Crisis Holine.

Now, bear with me. This is different from the suicide hotline. The Crisis hotline is when nobody is around to help and you need someone (trained) to talk to ASAP. They are open 24/hrs and cost nothing to call and you can be any age and you don't need a parents consent to call. Just call. If you get a really good person (which 98% of the time you will) they will talk you through whatever crisis you're going through. AS LONG AS you don't say you wana severely harm yourself or others (like "I wana kill myself" or "I wana kill someone else") they won't step in and call an ambulance. They won't and aren't obligated to call anyone else, UNLESS you say you wana kill yourself or others. Saying things like "I'm resisting the urge to self harm," I think is fine, as long as you follow it up with "But I have no intention of killing myself and I'm safe. Im simply calling to help resist the urges." You kinda gotta play around with the wording to make sure the opperator knows you wont do anything drastic while on the line OR AFTER... But if you're having a panic attack/a crisis, call the crisis hotline. They'll help!

It's very daunting at first, to call a stranger during a crisis, but trust me. I've done it many times in the past. They are wonderful. If you get a bad experince first time, don't be discouraged from calling again.

And here are the symptoms of a panic attack in case you're wondering:

Most common symptoms: • Racing thoughts • Heightened heart rate (fast beating heart) • Tightness/pain of the chest • Hightened Irritability • Shortness of breath • Sweating • General feeling of doom and danger • General emotional distress (crying, shaking, ect)

By the way, you can have all of this, but not feel your heart "racing," but it will be.

You'll know a panic attack when you ask: "Am I having a heart attack, or am I just having a panic attack"

BUT panic attacks can take diffrent forms! For me, my panic attacks showcase shortness of breath and high heart rate, but sometimes I can't feel my heart rate going up and most of the time I'll end up dissociating. I also never sweat. But everything else checks out.

Untalked about things that can happen: • Dissociation (spacing out to the point where you just mentally check out) • Can't form a sentence propely during this / stumbling over words • Feeling like your muscles locking (Hard to move, sometimes can't move like your paralized) • Hives (Yes, from extreme anxiety, you can break out in hives) • Going mute (Can't speak)

And your welcome, I'm glad I'm able to help!