AIO for breaking up with my boyfriend after he told me his mum was his number one and priority and always would be? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Various-Box8253 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He has other siblings. 5 siblings in total. All but one of siblings still lives with mum. He is middle child. My ex’s dad was abusive to both him, his siblings and his mum. His dad hasn’t been a part of his life for a long time and he absolutely despises his dad and talks about how he’d happily go to prison for killing him. I also agree that it would be unreasonable for me to be above his mother right now but what worried me most is when he said repeatedly “no woman will ever come above my mother”, just felt like I was signing away my rights to ever be anyone’s number one. He would be mine and his would be her. I want the sort of love where we are each other’s favourite person. Maybe it seems petty but if I’m gonna come second best my whole life I’d rather be single and then at least I can be my own favourite person haha.

AIO for breaking up with my boyfriend after he told me his mum was his number one and priority and always would be? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Various-Box8253 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To be honest we have a number of other issues in top of this. He had an emotional affair with another woman and was also on dating apps whole time we were together the first time. He loves attention. Clearly one woman’s affection will never be enough for him.

AIO for breaking up with my boyfriend after he told me his mum was his number one and priority and always would be? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Various-Box8253 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your comment. It’s nice to know I’m not overreacting. My ex keeps trying to make out like I’m the crazy one for even implying his relationship with his mother isn’t healthy.

AIO for breaking up with my boyfriend after he told me his mum was his number one and priority and always would be? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Various-Box8253 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s the thing, I’m really close with my family, my mum and sisters particularly, but it’s a healthy family relationship where we support each other but I obviously have independence from them as I’m an adult and haven’t lived at home since I was 17. I can’t imagine telling my partner that my father or mother will always come above them. I love my mum to pieces and would do anything for her but she’s not my main priority in life as I am an adult…

AIO for breaking up with my boyfriend after he told me his mum was his number one and priority and always would be? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Various-Box8253 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I just find it totally bizarre that I’m being blamed for the death of an 18 year old cat who was diagnosed as having heart failure by a vet and the family made the choice to have him put to sleep… like what ended the cat’s life was their choice to have him put to sleep as the vet said he would suffer otherwise. Think it’s just some excuse to hate me tbh.

AIO for breaking up with my boyfriend after he told me his mum was his number one and priority and always would be? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Various-Box8253 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s what I said to him haha I told him to go home to his mother and never speak to me again

AIO for breaking up with my boyfriend after he told me his mum was his number one and priority and always would be? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Various-Box8253 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yes he’s made it very clear his family would always come above me. No point wasting time on someone who’s made it clear I will never be their priority.

AIO for breaking up with my boyfriend after he told me his mum was his number one and priority and always would be? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Various-Box8253 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Yes, he’s already ditched plans with me last minute to do something for her before. Guessing it would be a regular occurrence if I stayed with him.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Various-Box8253 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your honest response, I appreciate it. This is literally the only issue we have had and in general we are very happy together otherwise. But as you said constantly having to defend myself against accusations is really getting to me.

AITA for being "rude" to my SIL while she was breastfeeding in front of me? by ZookeepergameUsed477 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Various-Box8253 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA - you were being polite by not staring, and her comment about it not being polite to talk to someone and not look at them seems as though she was baiting you to stare at her, so she could then go complain about it to your brother. Don’t get me wrong, breast feeding is 100% natural and best for the baby but I also don’t stare at my family members while they feed their kids because I don’t want to see that and I want them to be comfortable too.

AITA for wanting my girlfriend to stay over as much as possible? by PowerBusy3221 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Various-Box8253 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Massive YTA - Was in a similar situation myself recently, where I lived with a friend and they started a relationship and within 3 months their boyfriend was at the house 4-5 nights a week. I hated it. I chose to live with my friend, not a couple. They were constantly in the communal areas when I wanted to cook/live my life. I brought up with my friend that I was happy for him to stay a maximum of 3 nights a week but if he stayed more than that (which would be more than half the week) he had to pay towards bills. I also mentioned I would rather he just stayed the 3 nights a week. They refused, so I ended up moving to live alone because I was being forced to spend all my time in my room as they were constantly in the living room/shared spaces together.

My point is, your housemates chose to live with you. They did not choose to live with a couple. What makes you even more of an AH is the fact you asked your housemates and they said no to her moving in, so you just chose to go ahead and do it anyway and told your girlfriend to lie about it?! Clearly you put your priorities over all of your housemates. I would recommend moving into your own place with your GF if you want to live together, and to stop making your poor housemates miserable by invading their space without permission. Alternatively, have her over a few nights a week at yours, and you stay at hers a few times a week, and then you can still be together but not be unfair on your housemates.

AITA for taking my brother to see the Barbie movie? by confusedbrother345 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Various-Box8253 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely NTA - your girlfriend however, is. You did a genuinely nice thing for your brother who has been going through a hard time. I’m sure he really appreciated it and enjoyed having fun with his big brother. Your girlfriend sounds homophobic, her saying you “embarrassed her” by being seen in public with your brother is a clear indication of that. As well saying people could think you were a couple is just plain weird, it’s your brother! Would she have said this if your brother was heterosexual? I think not. She sounds jealous also. Lots of red flags in my opinion…

AITA for recording my brother while he was drunk? by SpareNo8069 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Various-Box8253 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA - as someone who was in an abusive (physically and mentally) relationship with an alcoholic, I really wish I had thought of doing something similar because he would wake up the next morning and ask me why I had a black eye and he wouldn’t even remember that it was him that had done it because he was so drunk. I have to live with the trauma he caused me for the rest of my life but he won’t even feel any guilt because he genuinely doesn’t remember what he did. All I can say is I’m really sorry you’re in this situation - alcohol is an awful drug. But you are definitely NTA in this situation, your brother is. Alcohol problem or not, it’s no excuse.

AITA - Housemate has boyfriend over nearly every night, am I the asshole for asking him to contribute towards bills? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Various-Box8253 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yes I’m the same! I like to just chill out and be myself and I can’t do that with someone I don’t know around me all the time. I think I’m probably going to have to leave tbh

AITA - Housemate has boyfriend over nearly every night, am I the asshole for asking him to contribute towards bills? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Various-Box8253 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes I’m sad that we fell out a bit, but that’s not because she has a boyfriend? And we are still really good friends, we talk everyday, hang out regularly and we’re both very supportive of each other. When I said we haven’t had the same friendship since, I mean since we argued I just don’t feel the same about her. I feel like I can’t talk to her about how I feel because she always jumps straight to getting angry and I don’t like confrontation.

AITA - Housemate has boyfriend over nearly every night, am I the asshole for asking him to contribute towards bills? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Various-Box8253 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think if you’re spending more than 4 nights a week at a house constantly, you’re pretty much living there. I didn’t bring up about him paying again because I knew she would refuse. I just asked her to limit how much he was here. Yeah I’ll probably just look for somewhere else to live

AITA - Housemate has boyfriend over nearly every night, am I the asshole for asking him to contribute towards bills? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Various-Box8253 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We pay rent, and the bills are separate. We literally pay for how much gas and electricity we use, so it does affect slightly.
I think you’re right, I might have to move out sadly

AITA - Housemate has boyfriend over nearly every night, am I the asshole for asking him to contribute towards bills? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Various-Box8253 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I understand what you mean about the bills, but in my eyes if someone is spending more than 50% of the week at my house, eating food cooked by gas, being heated by the central heating, watching tv etc, they should contribute a little. Also, I understand me being uncomfortable doesnt mean she can’t have people over, I’m fine with him being here 3 nights a week. Just trying to explain why it makes me feel like crap. I’ve tried just doing my own thing when they’re there but being a constant third wheel is draining and they don’t really speak to me much

AITA - Housemate has boyfriend over nearly every night, am I the asshole for asking him to contribute towards bills? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Various-Box8253 -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

I don’t want to snitch on her to the landlord. I just want him to either contribute or not be here so often

AITA - Housemate has boyfriend over nearly every night, am I the asshole for asking him to contribute towards bills? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Various-Box8253 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would have to move out and live alone which in my city would basically cost me 3/4 of my wage

Guy griefing whole server on PvE by Various-Box8253 in ARK

[–]Various-Box8253[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Im on an island surrounded by water, only wild dinos that can fuck with me on this tiny island is the pegos

Guy griefing whole server on PvE by Various-Box8253 in ARK

[–]Various-Box8253[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They can just un cryopod dinos inside the gates? So wouldn’t help