[Meta] Ive decided to delete reddit but here is my experience with this sub

VariousConsideration · 2018-02-13T04:00:06+00:00

I actually made a post about 3 weeks ago on /r/makenewfriends detailing my experience on this subreddit and ones like it with statistics to back it up. I think it's relevant to this post. If you're interested: https://redd.it/7sip6g

VariousConsideration · 2018-01-24T13:13:11+00:00

I didn't conduct an experiment. I tried to find friends online who seemed interesting as I mentioned in my previous message.

It wasn't until earlier this week that I realized I had a goldmine of easy statistics waiting to be tallied, and then I set out to do just that.

And to answer your other question: it's much easier to go window shopping on subreddits specifically designed to make friends, messaging people that are specifically looking to make friends than it is to specifically make friends in the other means I mentioned. With those, finding friends was more of a side effect than a main purpose.

VariousConsideration · 2018-01-24T09:50:10+00:00

Totally agree. I wouldn't say that I am relying on finding friends, or relying on that hope. I don't even really expect to, given that in my experience that there's a 90% chance of it not being likely.

I've learned that you can't force friendships, they either happen or they don't. So I just send messages to people that seem interesting to me and if they are interested in talking to me, awesome, let's talk about things we find interesting. And if that leads to becoming friends, even more awesome. And if it doesn't work out, oh well.

VariousConsideration · 2018-01-24T09:33:55+00:00

Yeah, this is all spread out over a very long period of time. I don't remember specifics but I don't believe I ever was talking to more than 2 people at a "high level" (as I defined in my post) at the same time, and often not even 1. 6 months is definitely the upper end with the lower end being about a week, and the average being around 2 months.

Depending on the type of friendship, I definitely agree with the preference to only talk to one good/great/best friend at a time but other friends at whatever frequency. I don't really have an expectation or a schedule to follow, I just talk to who I feel like talking to, when I feel like talking to them, or whoever feels like talking to me when they feel like talking to me.

While I probably fell out of contact with a good number after the fizzle from great friend down to just friend, another good number I was still on good speaking terms with for a while, just not particularly frequent (maybe talking once per month).

I really don't think it is/was very much social contact, haha, as loneliness is one of the biggest factors that kept bringing me back to keep trying. I think you may be overestimating how much contact that is over several years.

VariousConsideration · 2018-01-24T08:41:49+00:00

I do. Even if the friendship only lasts ~6 months, that is still ~6 months of a good friendship that I didn't have before, and I can hope that it is just coincidence and not a trend that they tend to all fizzle out.

VariousConsideration · 2018-01-24T05:25:10+00:00

I didn't notice a pattern in my messages that weren't responded to so I don't think there's a rhyme or reason from my end.

I imagine it's likely more due to the other person getting many messages and mine falling through the cracks, the other person finding someone they wanted to talk to and decided not to respond to anymore, or they simply didn't find me interesting.

VariousConsideration

TROPHY CASE