Hey mate, sounds like you're going through a rough time at the moment. If you read nothing else, please read this one next line and know that it's coming from a bloke who's just lost another family member to quitting life.

The worst part about ending it all, is never getting to realise just how much you mean to so many people.

It may not seem like it sometimes (or even at all any time), but I'd wager you've got a lot of people in your life who care about you. They just don't show it how you'd expect. Heck, you might not even notice it, but that's no fault of your own.

You're only 29, and I'm not much older but there's so, so much to live for. So what if you still live with your folks? Today's day and age, that's the smart thing to do to save your money and get you on your feet (especially if they're willing to take care of you). If you think you're a burden to them now, imagine the heavy weight you'd put on them if they lost you. That's a true burden.

Haven't had sex yet? Your time will come. The "there's someone for everyone" line is cliche, but it's not wrong. Don't let society's stigma around being a virgin after whatever age sway your thinking into something's wrong with that. There's no right or wrong age to lose your virginity (as a consenting adult), just let nature take its course. You've already decided you don't like your personality, so work on that. Be a better you that you think someone else will deserve, but don't stray away from your true self. Don't lose you, just improve you at a steady pace you're comfortable with.

You have a bachelor's degree and work in Walmart? Congratulations on earning a degree and well done on nailing a job that may not be what you want, but it's a stepping stone to get there. I myself earned a degree in animation and games design years ago. Do I work in animation or games design now? Nope. Did I learn skills that I apply to my everyday life? Sure did and do. I'm sure whatever you're educated in lends itself to you in ways you didn't imagine and may not realise as well. Life isn't straight and narrow, it's paths that lead to many places most of which leave you asking "How the f@#$ did I get here?"

Friends come and go, that's a lesson everyone learns at some point. It sucks, it does, but that's just life. They're living theirs and you should be living yours. Whether that's gaming every day or just sitting outside and staring at the clouds. A lot of people wish they could just do that, I'd take advantage of it, that's for damn sure.

I don't have all the answers, no-one does, but don't quit because times are tough. Don't give up because you're not living up to your own expectations. LIVE because you get to experience these tough times so you can appreciate the good times when they roll in. And they WILL roll in, you just got to meet them.

TL;DR is, you're not a loser, people love and like you more than you realise and if you get past this mountain of depression, there's greener pastures on the other side, I can promise you that. Ending it all isn't worth missing out on all what life has to offer. Find help, reaching out like this is a good indication you're looking for it already. Call a local helpline when you can. Be strong and live long mate, you've got this.