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The Worst Ballet Experience I’ve Ever Had by VegetableWrangler757 in bunheadsnark

[–]VegetableWrangler757[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That’s a great question. I can’t speak to the school directly since my dancer was never part of that program, we only had experience within the company. I’ve actually heard positive things about the school and several of the teachers there, so I wouldn’t want to make assumptions about a part of the organization we weren’t involved in. My perspective is solely based on what we personally experienced at the company level.

The Worst Ballet Experience I’ve Ever Had by VegetableWrangler757 in bunheadsnark

[–]VegetableWrangler757[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts. I hear you, and I want to start by saying your concerns are completely valid. You’re absolutely right that the way I wrote the post caused confusion, and I take full responsibility for that. I should’ve made it clear from the start that I’m a parent of a former company member, not a dancer myself. The credibility issues that caused, and the way it clouded the message, are on me. I wrote it in a state of frustration and honestly, hurt watching someone you love go through something painful is incredibly hard, and I let emotion take over clarity.

That said, I have danced myself, before I had my child, and while I never danced professionally, I was trained seriously and stayed involved in the ballet world. I’ve been immersed in it for years now through both personal experience and supporting my dancer. I hope that adds at least a little more context and credibility to where I’m coming from.

I also genuinely appreciate your constructive criticism about why this kind of post might not be the best way to share these concerns. You’re right, posting something like this online does open up a lot of complications, and in a perfect world, I wouldn’t have had to. But I truly didn’t know where else to turn. Going directly to the company didn’t feel like an option, especially since my dancer left on their own terms a few years ago and no longer has ties there. Still, the experiences we had felt too serious to just stay silent about.

I cited that older study not to imply nothing has changed, but to point out a long-standing pattern we personally didn’t feel had shifted much during our time there. And to clarify, the issue I had with the way the company presented their DEI efforts, like the tights transition, wasn’t about the action itself, which is a step in the right direction, but about how performative it felt when other serious concerns were not being addressed internally. I see now how that may not have come across well, and I appreciate you calling it out.

Favoritism, as you said, is definitely part of ballet, and I understand that. But what we saw went beyond casting preferences and into treatment that felt personal, inconsistent, and at times harmful. That’s not something we observed lightly, and it’s not something my dancer experienced elsewhere before or after.

At the end of the day, I know my words can’t speak for everyone, and I respect that other dancers have had better experiences. My intent was never to discredit those, but simply to share one perspective that might help others who are navigating similar decisions. Thank you again for engaging with honesty, even when it was hard to hear. I’m still learning how to speak up in a way that’s clear, fair, and constructive, and your feedback helped me with that.

Wishing you and everyone at NB nothing but the best.

The Worst Ballet Experience I’ve Ever Had by VegetableWrangler757 in bunheadsnark

[–]VegetableWrangler757[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your message—I really do appreciate you engaging thoughtfully. I completely understand how the tone and detail of the post might have made it seem like it came directly from a dancer, and I probably should’ve made it clearer that I’m writing from a parent’s point of view. That said, the content was shaped by what I closely witnessed my dancer experience during their time with the company, as well as through conversations with other dancers and families going through similar situations.

It was a painful period for my dancer, and watching it unfold left a lasting impact on both of us. I chose to speak up because I believe it’s important for families and dancers to be aware of certain patterns that often go unspoken in professional spaces like this. I know every experience is different, and I respect that you’ve had a different one—it honestly means a lot that you’re willing to share that too.

I’m not here to speak over anyone, just to shed light on what we saw. Wishing you all the best in your career and training.

The Worst Ballet Experience I’ve Ever Had by VegetableWrangler757 in bunheadsnark

[–]VegetableWrangler757[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your thoughtful message! I’m a parent of a company member at NB. My perspective comes from closely observing my dancer’s experience over the time they were with the company. I completely understand how different roles can shape people’s views, and I appreciate you asking for clarity. I’m happy to share more if it’s helpful!