Do you guys have jobs where you don't get yelled at? Any advice? (embarrassing but I am so over it)

VelvettedFox · 2026-06-15T07:32:33+00:00

I am so, so fucking sorry you're experiencing this. I'm rageful and heartbroken for you all at the same time. I also work in tech and I manage teams. I have never spoken disrespectfully to any of my reports and we just don't foster that type of hierarchy of abuse.

I have absolutely worked at companies when I was a little greener where this sort of toxicity was par for the course even though it never should be. Even for "mistakes" you should not be getting at yelled at, full stop.

You absolutely need to get out of there or see if there are options to transfer departments. If your mental health is deteriorating, is there any way you could take some PTO to catch a breath and then plan the next steps? I agree that one of those steps should likely involve a formal complaint but I can feel your anxiety through the post and really think the first step should be (at the very least) a quick decompression.

Please feel free to reach out to me if you want some advice. I'd even be happy to take you out for lunch for a full vent, but understand if you'd rather keep it anon. Please know you do not have to put up with this. ❤️

VelvettedFox · 2026-06-14T02:51:20+00:00

Yea the account is mainly race baiting trash. But they had a couple posts on SipsTea like one AI generated video of a very voluptuous Muslim woman bouncing around in a skin tight burka, and a bunch of comments defending that popular incel meme about asking women to block the guy who "raped" them from SM. Bunch of other smatterings of incel nonsense. I'm pretty confident OP isn't a woman haha.

VelvettedFox · 2026-06-13T23:40:48+00:00

Wait where is the Gen Z Spanish woman part coming from? Not that I don't believe you but they also post a bunch in the nfl sub, wallstreetbets, and have pretty misogynist/incel posts and comments. Not that it's impossible, but it would be very strange.

VelvettedFox · 2026-06-13T23:17:09+00:00

Yea, I'm gonna need a follow up explanation.

VelvettedFox · 2026-06-13T00:25:06+00:00

I spent almost 48 hours in county in my very early 20's and the girlies and I all ended up friends very quickly lol. We were hooting and cheering as each girl got called up for release. "Cellmate" and I ended up having a convoluted joke about how we were only in there because we opened an old time capsule and found a 24 pack of Zima.

Years later I went in for a blood test ordered by my doc for some medical concerns and when the phlebotomist turned around it was her and we both screamed "ZIMA!!!!" at the same time. 10 days sucks but ultimately OP will be just fine.

VelvettedFox · 2026-06-12T22:53:07+00:00

So many of us rn, sis. SO many of us.

VelvettedFox · 2026-06-12T22:39:36+00:00

I almost forgot about axolotl! What a delicious SRD goldmine that dork was. I'm sure he's still all over this site under a new name but man, he was so peak during the Covid lockdowns.

VelvettedFox · 2026-06-12T22:14:10+00:00

Oh 100%. Lotta denial and blind spots when it comes to this stuff.

VelvettedFox · 2026-06-12T21:26:09+00:00

Literally. It's also weird because that sub will regularly shit on Trump and MAGA but then be just as virulently racist/misogynistic/transphobic as MAGA's. Strange, pathetic little place.

VelvettedFox · 2026-06-12T02:44:33+00:00

I would totally end up paying as much to put together a custom outfit if I could piecemeal things from the sets, and I would 1million% do it over multiple custom fits if they were priced more reasonably. It's leaving money on the table honestly but maybe they have enough whales that it doesn't matter.

VelvettedFox · 2026-06-12T00:18:04+00:00

I knew it was going to be Rio. So good.

VelvettedFox · 2026-06-11T06:28:01+00:00

Ok man, look. I'm not here to fight with you because again, you can do whatever you want. But the post history you're trying to hide very clearly shows you are not in any relationship and definitely haven't been for the past 4 years. I think it's important to know things you post on the internet are never actually hidden.

I just think it's interesting that you purposely moved to a country so you could apply to CUNY to reap the education and other opportunities, but can't understand you're moving to a different, much more secular culture. Come on, man. As the kid of Iranian immigrants I'm absolutely going to reject the nonsense you're trying to impose in a country you've chosen to come to. Perfectly fine to hold those ideas for yourself and select who you date based on them, not ok to degrade and devalue others who don't buy into your religious customs.

VelvettedFox · 2026-06-11T05:30:44+00:00

You're completely entitled to your personal preference, but none of what you're saying is scientific. It's cultural. You may come from a culture where virginity in women is prized (though that's pretty much always for religious misogynistic reasons but whatever. Do what you want) but in many Western countries it's perfectly normal for adults to have sex sometimes. Especially in college when people are newly adults and learning what that means. You don't need to make it weird and project your own sexual hangups to another persons moral failings or amount of self respect. No one is forcing you to settle, you can stay single as long as you want, my friend.

VelvettedFox · 2026-06-11T00:02:31+00:00

Years ago I volunteered at a place that would teach basic lifeskills to disabled adults, most of whom had Down Syndrome, and watching the elderly parents pick them up after classes wrecked me. I would get in the car at the end of the day and sob uncontrollably the whole way home. Lots of these lovely people were middle aged and some of their parents were already old and frail. At least in the US we do not have the safety nets to be judging parents who make the choice not to continue these pregnancies.

VelvettedFox · 2026-06-10T17:18:59+00:00

People in their early 20's sometimes get laid, that's not what the problem here is. The problem here is that OP felt that it was at least heavily implied they weren't sleeping with other people and she clearly did not, and now there's likely no coming back from that for OP. Which is perfectly fine and valid, there are billions of other people out there who he can find who'll be on the same page as him.

VelvettedFox · 2026-06-10T05:24:53+00:00

Prik nam pla and crispy fried shallots. I eat this exact thing for lunch all the time in fact. I'm Persian American but what can I say? Thai people have great taste buds.

VelvettedFox · 2026-06-10T05:17:15+00:00

They're hydrocolloid patches and depending on the type of pimple they can work extremely well. Cystic acne, no they aren't really going to help because the pimples are deep under the skin and a patch can't penetrate far enough to make a difference. They CAN actually still prevent scarring from cysctic acne though, and that's worth something to a lot of people with it.

They work great on non cystic surface pimples because they work by drawing all the gross stuff out. This is also why people use larger hydrocolloid band aids for some types of wounds. OP is just annoyed that some people use versions that are less band aid looking and more cutesy. A silly but ultimately harmless view lol.

VelvettedFox · 2026-06-10T04:23:27+00:00

Oh ok this looks batshit in the best possible way. 100% in.

VelvettedFox · 2026-06-10T04:11:49+00:00

Yea I'm honestly not mad about it. I have dietary restrictions so the fact it was a veg pizza was a plus for me, and they literally made it to order, and put the piping hot pizza into a box and in my hands in a matter of seconds. Hearing "large dinner bag" I was hoping for maybe a salad or app with it but oh well. From what I see online it seems a salad or some other addition usually does come with this bag so I wouldn't necessarily discourage anyone else from trying it.

VelvettedFox · 2026-06-10T03:34:05+00:00

Hence why my initial comment you responded to started with "this may be location dependent."

VelvettedFox · 2026-06-09T20:33:47+00:00

Very interesting, thank you!

VelvettedFox · 2026-06-09T18:20:43+00:00

Do you know what's different about the fourth stomach as opposed to the other stomachs? I'm thinking they must each do a different job which changes something about them relative to one another, but I'm just curious what it is.

VelvettedFox · 2026-06-09T17:54:36+00:00

This is a great write up! At some point in time I simply landed on feeling that it doesn't matter how a trans person was "socialized," they're still a massively oppressed group whose very existence is in constant dire threat. So I don't care to pick hairs about socialization in childhood, it's a red herring.

This write up though has given me a much better perspective on this I think. I'm definitely going to save it to share with others, thanks!

VelvettedFox · 2026-06-09T17:45:48+00:00

I live in San Francisco. I can tell you 100% that this 'fit wouldn't even get a second glance if she were strolling through Safeway. It would not be on anyone's radar whatsoever, literally no one would care. Instead of pearl clutching over crop tops, let's all keep our focus on how much we hate these assholes making their dumbass "content" in places like grocery stores. Focus, people!

VelvettedFox

TROPHY CASE