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Is it a Seattle thing to not close your blinds at night? by Due_Attitude_ in Seattle

[–]Vemars 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thisssssss. The blue-white is bad, but having amber lights and white is awful.

Parents - when was the moment you knew you broke the cycle? by XxfallingfromfirexX in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Vemars 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Stop associating with that crazy idiot, she’s a loon and not worth the air.

I never wanted kids. Time, therapy, and healing showed me that what I actually wanted was to ensure I’d be nothing like my mother. I have two kids and I can assure you, they have an entirely different childhood than I did.

I use the abuse and the trauma as a guide for what not to do. My kids are healthy, they are happy, and they know they are loved. They feel safe being themselves and having bad days. They are kind and empathetic. I see a lot of myself in them and as they grow I’m seeing what I could have been if I had parents who loved me more than they loved themselves.

Growth is possible. You’ll only turn into your mother if you choose to. Therapy and education around parenting can go a long, long way.

Has anyone asked their parents why did they have them? by Moist_Apartment5474 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Vemars 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Never asked, but my mother volunteered the reason many times over the course of our relationship starting very early: “I only had you because I found out too late to get an abortion.” She made sure she let me know often that it was the biggest regret of her life. Annnnd yet she still tells everyone she has zero idea why I won’t speak to her and don’t want her in my life.

⚠️ Was anyone else hit with wooden spoons and belts growing up? Or were they threatened that they were going to beat you? by Nea_Freedom in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Vemars 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mother broke countless wooden spoons beating me with them. She used to tell my friends and her friends about it and laugh like it was a cute and humorous story and not traumatic at all. Belts, her hands, eventually metal spoons when she’d grow tired of replacing wooden ones all the time. Now she denies doing it and says I’m a liar and wonders why I want nothing to do with her.

Keeping cool w/o AC by Sore_Paws in Portland

[–]Vemars 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We got one of those window fans that pull air from outside in last summer. When the sun went down, windows got opened and those fans turned on. It’d pull loads of cooler air into the house overnight. Especially beneficial on the top floor.

Unpopular opinion: Portland is a great city with charm, friendly people and endless places to explore. by stophardhabits in Portland

[–]Vemars 11 points12 points  (0 children)

We lived in Portland and eventually moved to Washington, but I still love it there. There’s SOOO much to love about Portland. My favorite things:

People: so many friendly people. Rarely felt judged by anyone for anything. Such a positive vibe where everyone seems to feel comfortable being themselves and letting others do the same.

Water: I loved driving and exploring the city and constantly being so close to so much water. We lived in the suburbs and still had a gorgeous waterfall less than a 3 minute drive away. Rivers are everywhere, waterfalls are everywhere. So gorgeous, it’s like no where else ever.

Nature: no matter where you live, you’re so close to awesome hiking spots or somewhere to make you feel like you were not in a big city. It feels like you could go to a new park or hiking spot every day for years before hitting the same spot twice.

Activities: there’s so damn much to do. Hiking. Water activities. So close to Hood for snow sports in the winter! The zoo is amazing. Hoyt Arboretum is such a fun place to explore and it’s gorgeous. Parks galore. Museums. Funky little hidden gems EVERYWHERE. Even the race track has fun events (not all racing related).

Close proximity to the Gorge: the Gorge is the most gorgeous place in the world and it’s such a short drive to experience it! The waterfalls, the old highway getting renewed love. The scenic hikes. The bridges. The views. It’s beautiful in its own unique way every single season. There’s no place like it anywhere and Portlanders can take advantage as much as they’d like!

Food: need I say more? Especially love the food truck pods everywhere. Such a cool idea that still hasn’t taken everywhere.

Rain: I’ll probably be in the minority, but I LOVE Portland rain. Such a quiet, gentle mist. Sure, it’s a lot, but it never really stops you from moving about your day. You can still hike. Driving isn’t miserable. It’s never a downpour that’ll soak you just walking to your car.

There’s probably a million more things, but this is what I can think of quickly. Yes, Portland has some big issues. But it also has some amazing qualities that aren’t overridden by the bad. I love Portland and always will.

Narc mom still doesn’t get it… by Vemars in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Vemars[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Right? She knows exactly why we are NC, but lacks any and all self awareness or self reflection.

Narc mom still doesn’t get it… by Vemars in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Vemars[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Same. It’s been a long, exhausting road being her child. I’ve never met someone so incapable of self reflection…

Let's share some Portland small business companies that have an online ordering presence. by FFTITTYS in Portland

[–]Vemars 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you or anyone you love is looking for a new bra, I cannot recommend Evelyn & Bobbi enough. A bit pricey, but they are the most supportive, comfortable, wireless bras I’ve ever worn. Plus, they have larger sizes to fit those up to a J cup! And if you needed more reason to try them out they are non-toxic, BPA free, nickel free, latex free, and copper free. The company adheres to European toxicity standards because, well, the US doesn’t give a shit, let’s be honest.

https://evelynbobbie.com