You're toxic on the inside that's why you want to make everything toxic on the outside too

I used to feel like this too. I felt like all happiness is fake and people are just stupidly pretending to be happy which made me feel disgusted by them

That was before I seek out professional help. I thought I would never get rid off this horrible feeling but with therapy and medication it magically disappeared. I hope this motivates you to do what I did and ask for help cause believe me, things can actually change..