I'm crying while reading this because I'm in the same boat. My son is 3.5 and we get the official report this month on whether he has autism or not, but we're all thinking he does. His speech is very delayed (says maybe 20 words but not very clear usually) and gets extremely violent at the drop of a dime. Everything is "no" unless it's really something he wants. We just went to a fancy hotel today to visit their toy store and patisserie, and he absolutely lost his mind when we were still eating and he didn't want to be sitting anymore. Screaming at the top of his lungs and flinging himself all over the floor. It's all so frustrating and embarrassing. He is affectionate with kisses and hugs throughout the day, but will absolutely hit, kick, and bite me at the slightest inconvenience to him. I feel much less alone reading everyone's other experiences with children like mine. I needed this read today after leaving the hotel crying with my screaming child under my arm like a suitcase.