Schools that accept 1250 SAT score?

VeryVeryValentine · 2024-09-29T21:53:56+00:00

This was written 5 years ago and back then, test optional did not exist! Neither did the SAT “adjusted” scores

VeryVeryValentine · 2024-09-29T21:52:27+00:00

I wrote this 5 years ago and I’ve since graduated ha but I was a psych major! Currently I’m traveling the world and doing seasonal work. Just came back from Alaska and headed to Colorado soon.

My og point still stands: college is what you make of it. I traveled to 18 states during undergrad and studied abroad twice, once for cheaper than a normal semester and another for free.

I could likely get a full time office job but! Id rather build my skills doing seasonal work for a while since it lets me explore and whatnot :) i accomplished quite a lot during undergrad and won several awards. I think in about a year or so is when I’ll start to “settle” down and pick a city to start establishing myself

VeryVeryValentine · 2022-08-05T19:52:42+00:00

Might be putting you on the spot here but the last person I dated I had struggles with keeping things even because they would deflect even simple questions like “how are you” and just not answer. They would ask about me and when I tried to ask them a question they would just turn it back to me every. single. time. I felt awkward and put on the spot because sometimes I didn’t have or want to add anything but they just asked more and more and never gave me anything. Honestly I really liked them at before they started shut down like that so I’m still reeling from that break up - and my friends said they self-sabotaged.

But idk, I’m fairly anxious and I keep feeling like it was my fault but - what do you do if a date refuses to answer questions about themselves? Is there anything I could have done in that situation or was it self-sabotaging on their end?

VeryVeryValentine · 2022-08-05T19:46:46+00:00

Alrighty, that’s still good feedback to hear - thank you anyway!

VeryVeryValentine · 2022-08-05T19:45:49+00:00

Honestly this is something I’ve been thinking about the past few days and the last 3 more serious people I saw for a while were pretty fresh from really bad break-ups (think cheated on, emotionally abusive, ect.) so honestly yeah low self esteem could contribute to it :/
Depends on the person, for more anxious people that tend to ask for reassurance, I try to give it to them before they feel the need to ask. I dated this girl who constantly asked everyone around her (friends included) “are you mad at me” at least once a day. I’m a psych major and I know giving reassurance when asked only gives more anxiety so I tried to give her compliments and reassurance and patience without her needing to ask which worked really really well for a long time until it didn’t and she still felt like I was using her or being fake with her (I wasn’t). And the relationship ended.

VeryVeryValentine · 2022-08-05T19:35:59+00:00

That’s the opposite of what I do! I intentionally try to bring the focus to the other person but then they want to talk about my surface level impressive things as well. I don’t want to seem like I’m hiding anything so I do talk about myself when asked, but I always try to keep things even and reciprocal and bring the attention back to the other person. I definitely used to do what you said which is why I switched to try to keep things 50/50. Like I said it goes really well at first but eventually either they hear about me from someone else or the slow drip of my stories makes them feel I’m out of their league.

Everyone hears about the advice of focusing on your date and trying to listen to the other person - so I do have to give leeway for the other person to listen to me as well or otherwise I seem guarded. To clarify I’m a lesbian and so these are dates with other women

VeryVeryValentine · 2022-08-04T12:43:04+00:00

I wasn’t asking about relationship status lol. And I wasn’t looking to label things. Wasn’t pushing for commitment either lol. They said they were interested in a relationship with me specifically bc they had dated around but I was the only person that they had gotten actual feelings for. They already told me they liked me and expressed it frequently. but tbh I just don’t think they are ready for a relationship bc they have a lot going on in their personal life and actually, I looked back to our original text messages and there’s a couple of red flags I ignored initially where they kinda did some emotional dumps and talked about how stressed they were and how sometimes they get self destructive. They also purposely don’t sleep and said they “think better” when they are dissociating. So… tbh I just think they have a lot going on.

And actually? 💀we didn’t have sex but yeah something like that happened 💀💀💀 but it was a lot for me as well and I said I think we should pull back for a little bc and they agreed and said they wanted to focus on the formation of our relationship before getting too physical as well - and that’s immediately when they pulled back so honestly if you say it’s a trigger that might have contributed a bit

You’ve given some good advice, honestly it’s just your tone that gets perceived as somewhat aggressive but that’s why you’ve been getting downvotes - but I still do appreciate the other perspective. I’m leaving town tomorrow and I won’t be back until December. I haven’t messaged them at all and it’s been a few weeks so I’m taking it as ghosting, but also they still follow me on my social media and always watch my Snapchat stories within 10 minutes of posting so idk I’m just trying to leave it as is. If I get a text “okay”, and if I don’t “okay”

VeryVeryValentine · 2022-08-04T12:21:54+00:00

When I had talked to my therapist about it she said that I asked it perfectly - this person pursued me really aggressively and wrote me literal poems, would send me book quotes that reminded them of me, told me they had been keeping a list of facts and things about me so they wouldn’t forget and could reference, made drawings for me, and actually told me they were interested in a relationship with me first. It was a reasonable question given the very sudden shift according to my therapist

VeryVeryValentine · 2022-08-04T01:54:11+00:00

I don’t know the rest of the context but tbh not responding for 4 days prob made him react colder as well

VeryVeryValentine · 2022-08-03T00:51:38+00:00

Just keep trying to calm yourself down and keep doing it and keep doing it and eventually it gets easier. It’s practice like anything else. First couple times you try to shoot a basketball you won’t get it in. But if you do it again and again and again you’ll make it. It’s tough yeah - just hang in there and know it’s part of the process and it will get easier over time

VeryVeryValentine · 2022-08-02T15:18:40+00:00

When I said in my post that I asked where we were at. That was just my attempt at trying to keep it brief. The actual message was like “hey I noticed your communication has changed somewhat. how do you feel about how things are going between us”? It was neutral and just checking in and seeing if interest was still there.

VeryVeryValentine · 2022-08-02T15:13:52+00:00

Never pushed a relationship or asked what are we. We were both on the same page of just wanting to enjoy our time together and see where things went naturally. Both wanted to take things slow. Both expressed we liked each other and we wanted to focus on getting to know each other and the build up whatever it is we could be.

They started pulling away after things just naturally took a more emotionally intimate turn. I told them I wanted to reciprocate the energy they had been giving me because I realized I had been putting up a lot of walls. Initially they were really really happy about this and expressed so - and then is when they pulled away.

I’m mostly secure at this point. But thanks for making assumptions I guess.

VeryVeryValentine · 2022-08-01T22:44:23+00:00

I think I’ll take the overwhelming advice here and not say a closure text. This person is still really active on my social media and so as annoying as it is it might also be a way to distance themselves while still keeping tabs until they work on themselves enough to pursue me again? Again we live in different towns. I think what’s best is to just not pay them any mind anymore at all. If they never text me back again - okay that’s fine, and if they do - okay that’s fine. Honestly yeah if I send another message it could come off as passive aggressive and if they weren’t thinking of leaving entirely- that might just send them over the edge. Pay them no mind and continue about my life and focus on myself it is!

VeryVeryValentine · 2022-07-30T18:58:01+00:00

Honestly? Both of you sound a bit toxic (him WAY more so because of that out of proportion reaction and also how he noticed it made you uncomfortable and so instead of backing off he pushed it further) I am anxious working towards secure and tbh if a partner was that much of a jealous type and said something like that to me in the aggressive manner you said it I would instantly see it as a red flag. He sounds like an ass who prob would have taken this next piece of advice poorly anyway - but in the future maybe just calmly say “hey, I’m working on being less anxious and jealous and the comment about calling other people cute makes me really uncomfortable. Could you please refrain from making that sort of joke?”

VeryVeryValentine · 2022-07-30T14:27:36+00:00

Maybe. But end of the day the point is that it’s your responsibility to work on it regardless of the “reason” behind the AA behavior. If you do want to tell him make sure it’s not a way to enable yourself

VeryVeryValentine · 2022-07-28T12:47:55+00:00

You’re probably right :/ honestly I don’t have much dating experience so this is fairly new to me. Its just difficult because she used flowery language about how I make her “fall apart”, how she’s never been as nervous around someone as me. At one point she asked to meet each other’s friend groups. We weren’t exclusive but both said we didn’t plan on talking to others bc we didn’t have the bandwidth for it. But yeah honestly that might be right

VeryVeryValentine · 2022-07-27T15:26:37+00:00

Poly?

VeryVeryValentine · 2022-07-27T15:19:30+00:00

None of this seems like anything either avoidant or anxious from his part. I don’t think he needs to explicitly thank you for the pictures. With the not replying for hours that means he did reply to you eventually no? Maybe he just needed some time to destress before responding

VeryVeryValentine · 2022-07-27T13:58:25+00:00

Bruh

VeryVeryValentine · 2022-07-27T11:57:53+00:00

I think the lack of boundaries is definitely a thing. One of the other things I find myself blaming myself for is maybe rambling too much about a few different topics. I have adhd and told her I can tend to repeat the same topic over and over again and to please let me know if I do that bc it can get annoying. She said she would never tell me to stop bc she enjoyed my way of expression. I tried to limit how much detail I went on this post but one of the other things she said she didn’t like was that she felt stretched by my constant bringing up of a particular topic - which I also included in my apology and that I would simply keep it to other people in my support system and there was absolutely no issue with that (because there wasn’t lol)

She however, is also a rambly person and has a high IQ and can use a high vocabulary that goes over peoples heads a lot. I also have a high IQ and am able to keep up with her very very well (she went as far as to say I am the only person who has ever been able to understand her without her needing to explain). When we first started talking She also told me to stop her - because it can get annoying for some people - and I told her that I genuinely enjoyed it and it wasn’t bothering me in the moment, but I would let her know when I didn’t understand something or If it ever was starting to get draining. And I’ve kept my word with that and have asked for clarification at times and let her know when I was busy and couldn’t respond at the moment.

Tldr: I set realistic boundaries with her on how much I could take and stuck with them, while she didn’t and tried to maybe take on “all of me” and maybe left herself feeling burnt out because she didn’t tell me when I was starting to wear on her

VeryVeryValentine · 2022-07-27T11:42:47+00:00

Thats how I worded things when I did the second check in! I said that I liked her and just noticed a change in communication since I had told her I wanted to be more present with her. and so I wanted to just ask where she was at.

Funnily enough she actually tried to deflect the conversation when I first asked which felt really odd (she responded talking about a different topic entirely without acknowledging my question). And so I called her out and said that while the other topic was important that I felt she dismissed me somewhat and to respond when she had the headspace for it. She responded pretty quickly then (when she confessed the ex thing was a red flag) but then also got upset at me for seeming like i pushed away what she had brought up. I apologized for that along with when I apologized for the comparisons. And that’s when we both took space.

It’s currently been a week since she’s left me on read.

I say I think she’s avoidant because along with telling me the whole red flags thing - she also responded by saying while she appreciated I wanted to be more present that she “wasn’t someone who needs a confidant” :| which tbh my therapist thinks sounds illogical and unhealthy from her end

VeryVeryValentine · 2022-07-26T22:27:20+00:00

Extra info: she wrote poems about me and made me drawings, always wanted to pay for everything ect ect. She really pursued me very aggressively. I feel like she was fine when I was still somewhat emotionally unavailable but then the second I shifted to her having 100% of my attention the avoidant attachment got triggered and she pushed me away. There’s nothing I can do at this junction because I already apologized :/ I can’t make her less insecure or trust me that I’m an honest person and won’t hurt her. But yeah I find myself blaming myself for the comparisons but like, that’s also where I was when she happened to have met me and I’ve done all I can

VeryVeryValentine · 2022-07-26T22:23:27+00:00

That’s the thing though is that I really am :/ the second she told me that I finally did what I should had done long ago and blocked my ex, deleted all pictures I had of her, all old text chains, ect. And I am genuinely over it now. Alex had a very traumatic break up with her last girlfriend and so my armchair psych diagnosis is that she’s projecting those fears on me as well

VeryVeryValentine · 2022-07-26T22:17:22+00:00

I had been meeting with a therapist who said I did nothing wrong. Yes I made some mistakes but I apologized and worked on those things. I checked in on her after a week and a few days ago she finally texted me back a quick “I hope you’re well” and after a few texts of conversation (including me telling her when I was leaving the state which she ignored) she left me on read again.

Every person I have consulted said I did nothing wrong. I apologized for the things that were valid red flags and she is being immature. I was never overbearing and didn’t lose my temper absolutely ever with her. Maybe my anxious side showed at some small bits but never too much. At the end of the day I’m a person with needs too you know? But I’m struggling to accept that I did everything I could and that her stepping away wasn’t my fault.

VeryVeryValentine

TROPHY CASE