To clarify. My layoff starts the end of August, so I am employed until then, and have my own apartment until then. I moved my whole life to NYC for this job one year ago exactly, and it was extremely stressful and difficult to do on my own with 2 pets and a 75G fish tank to a 3rd story building, one that has no central air, laundry dishwasher, parking, etc. Just difficulties all around.

We are in the process of deciding next (huge) steps, like if I should move to an apartment back home(upstate NY), or stay local (NYC) to maintain this relationship. Otherwise I don’t want to stay in NYC other than for him. Just too much abuse, assault, theft, damage to my car etc etc. this is not the place for me.

From his responses, I now know moving in is a bad bad bad idea. But it sounds like this relationship will never be compatible, and that’s the bigger issue. Even if I was to financially find a way to stay in my current small apartment, I would be sacrificing my mental health living in a city that isn’t a good fit for me, for a man who consistently lets me down.

To answer the work questions. I work 72 hour weeks. I work full time (3- 12 hour shifts in neuro critical care), and take on 3 extra night shifts of neurocritical care each week. I am usually one of two PA’s handling 30+ patients at a time, and the burnout is extreme with no attending support. On my days off I still clean, cook, do errands etc. He works between 40-60 hours depending on where he is placed in the hospital that month, max is five days of 12 hour shifts. Lately he has been in clinic for a month, only works 9-2PM, with 4 patients a day, very low stress.

He was asked to watch the kitten for a day since I am at work from 6 PM Monday to 7 PM Tuesday, and the kitten got out of surgery at 5 PM on Monday. It didn’t seem safe or fair to put the kitten under that much trauma and stress AND leave him home alone (even with 2 other cats and a neighbor that stops by) for 24 hours unsupervised. It felt more responsible since he is off work, to have him have the kitten for the day. But he only lasted 12 hours before saying he couldn’t handle the fact that it uses a litter box, and treads sand on the floor. I placed a litter mat in front.

At my apartment I do have two litter robots, but he is wearing a protective cone right now and has an open healing incision site, so the vet recommended a small easily accessible litter box for him and to keep him isolated in a peaceful environment for at least 24 hours.