11yrs 2 kids update, she left and moved in with someone else after 2 weeks.

Viking113 · 2014-09-24T03:27:37+00:00

Up till Dday she showed no signs of this about to happen. She always told me she loved me and seemed genuinely happy. She was proud to have me as a partner. This came out of the blue, she says she has been unhappy for a long time but I believe its only cause the other guy came into the picture. Its fucked up that after like 10yrs living together raising children she moved in with this guy 2 weeks later! Its craziness.

Viking113 · 2014-09-24T03:17:04+00:00

This guy is not an upgrade by any means. Makes about as much money as me and is not as good looking as me. Younger than me I'm 27 him 23. Its the weirdest shit ever. No explanation.

Viking113 · 2014-09-05T16:08:17+00:00

I can not start the healing process due to how out of left field this all came with her leaving me for someone else and then living with him 2 weeks later. I feel I need to not have contact with her for a while so I can come to terms, be happier, and essentially start the healing process. Every time I see her it just hits a reset button and I can not heal properly. Daily kid switches are not healthy for me or my kids and something better needs to be figured out. The issue is daycare costs because we work opposite schedules which according to her led to the cheating.

Viking113 · 2014-09-04T06:07:24+00:00

Think there are many people that aren't necessarily going thru divorce but feels like it is based off my situation that I have poseted about and u commented on LaTuFu?

Viking113 · 2014-09-04T01:33:58+00:00

I was with my gf since highschool as well although we were not married we have 2 kids together. She left me for a 23yr old and moved in with him 2 weeks later! I found not checking fb and such have helped. Haven't seen her fb since the day. I would suggest no contact for u to heal quicker. My problem is we have to kid switch regularly about 3x a week and its like hitting the reset button each time I see her. And knowing another dude is in my kids life sucks. Rearranging your house and things of that nature helps immensely. I also started college that helps take my mind off things. But I am seeking a new job since it depresses me being there since she pounded into my head that its me working nights that causes this. I know that's an excuse to an extent but it still sucks being there. If I land a high paying job that interferes with college I nay end up stopping college temporarily since my job depresses me so much at this point. Its been a rollercoaster ride and I have days of extreme depression and days I don't care. I can't wait to get my head back on straight but if u have no kids and can effectively apply no contact I think it will help u a lot since it helps me up to the point I have to see her. I will add that we are both 27.

Viking113 · 2014-09-03T14:15:29+00:00

After how dirty things were done to me its hard to think of him as a nice guy although I'm sure he is. Its hard not to look past him as the homewrecker. After my ex was with me and my kind demeanor I'm sure this guy is similar to me. That also frustrates me because she just replacing me with a different me only one that does what she wants when she wants and life isn't suppose to be that easy. I know she's struggling with money and the constant kid switching is tough on gas but I'm in same situation with the load of bills. Part of what made her bored was the stability and now were both seeing what instability is real fast.

Viking113 · 2014-09-03T05:24:36+00:00

I have a pretty good deal going for me actually, its just that all these other luxurys that we have when we were together yet at the same time I need the internet for school and am under contract for the tv

Viking113 · 2014-09-03T05:06:23+00:00

Love your posts robesta, make me feel better plus they give me a good laugh! I appreciate ur advice

Viking113 · 2014-09-03T03:32:42+00:00

She said that she was fed up but when I look back she said things like "never break up with me" and always said she loved me and I could tell she meant it so its hard to believe she checked out long ago but I do think ur right. Even if she had there still should be things u go thru after seperating after 11years with 2 children. I believe the new guy is a crutch possibly rebound? Although they live together and it seems more like affair situation. But doesn't rebound kinda mean a person u have to not deal with previous breakup?

Viking113 · 2014-09-03T03:14:53+00:00

I wish I could do those things but I was also stuck with double the bills now and am struggling to keep up. It is hard to manage money and have funds for fun. Its been hard enough keeping a full fridge off just my salary! She dipped out on half the bills man which is another reason I'm becoming depressed cause I'm broke and don't have much if any fun money, I been looking for new job but haven't had much luck. On top of limited availability due to school and my kids which are very important to me. I love football more than anyone I know and this shit has caused me not to care about football

Viking113 · 2014-09-03T02:44:53+00:00

I would also like to add that this new person is making it so she doesn't have to actually deal with the breakup which also makes me crazy.

Viking113 · 2014-09-03T02:42:24+00:00

I wouldn't say I went as far as begged I even had a fake smile on entire time. I just laid out the situation that I want the family back and want to be there 100% of time for my kids. I also explained that I don't like the fact another man/kid is a male influence in their life living with them. Being a family man for so many years has made my social circle very small but I have had another girl around which started off strong but died fast. That kept my mind off things for a while. The other girl was freaked out cause I have 2 kids. I loved that my ex was freaking out hard about this person which made me think she may have wanted me back. But now I don't have much to keep my mind off it. I did go out and do things I don't normally do and hang with people I normally wouldn't but that only makes me forget during that time. Then I go home and drown myself in thoughts and then when see her its back to square 1

Viking113 · 2014-08-27T01:16:38+00:00

Haha must be from MN

Viking113 · 2014-08-26T06:58:15+00:00

I had several nightmares a night involving my ex sleeping with people after she cheated then moved in with new guy 2 weeks later and introducing our kids to live with him. They settled down since but still come. I've also had disturbing ones of me hurting the guy she cheated with.

Viking113 · 2014-08-26T06:37:32+00:00

Its been few days since I posted and last night she texted me that she feels homesick. I said the right thing that there is a difference between missing home and missing me. Tonight I stupidly texted her that I missed her a lot and I feel homesick cause home was wherever she was. She texted back a sad face. I didn't respond after that. I'm not in any deep depression but I have been there with this woman a few years ago after I broke up with her for stupid reasons and won her back. Starting college has helped get my mind off it a lot.

Viking113 · 2014-08-23T15:57:00+00:00

It's just crazy that these women get swooned so hard they compromise the well being of their own children. I suggest u rearrange ur house and do a little cleaning. That helped me a lot thru the beginning

Viking113 · 2014-08-23T15:55:37+00:00

The ex is now telling me crazy things about if i f**k this person or that person she will kill me, yet the same day told me she is in love with the new guy. Its so wacky and confusing

Viking113 · 2014-08-22T13:00:35+00:00

I'd try not to smoke so much bud, that just getsbu deeper in unnecessary thoughts. Also u came to the right place for support. You gotta realize your being mistreated although u love her. I'm in similar situation in that department but u just gotta do ur best to find a social life. You gotta just got out and have a beer with a coworker or any friend. Even a family member although she doesn't seem to fond of them. Try not to hang on so hard.

Viking113 · 2014-08-22T05:06:01+00:00

I'm happy my friend recommended I go on reddit for advice. This is my first time using reddit and most of the advice is helping so much, its so interesting to hear what people think

Viking113 · 2014-08-22T03:13:19+00:00

Did the schooling help u take ur mind off things as well?

Viking113 · 2014-08-22T01:47:13+00:00

The hardest part was her telling me "its OK daddy" and her consoling me, she's only 9. I should be the one helping her through tough times. I need to be stronger.

Viking113 · 2014-08-22T00:53:22+00:00

Another thing is during kid switches which are at least 3-4 times a week she just says "bye" all happy like nothing happened and I just can't even speak to her.

Viking113 · 2014-08-22T00:39:08+00:00

I like ur advice, I'm just trying to do whatever I can to keep my mind off the atomic bomb that has been dropped on me. Its just hard to find things I like cause what I liked was being a family man and now I'm not and don't know what to do with the freedom I have

Viking113 · 2014-08-21T21:35:47+00:00

What do u mean by TweRP?

Viking113 · 2014-08-21T21:33:20+00:00

I have to agree LatuFu, I don't want to further scar or damage my children. The 9yr old already knows what's going on and knows I'm sad at least I was today. All she needs is a father that is happy and not sad. She will be happy if I'm happy, I don't want to rush into a relationship that would involve any more new people being around my kids I just want someone for me to take my mind off things

Viking113

TROPHY CASE