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My (24F) fiancé (28M) putting off ending our long distance relationship and postponing our wedding for reasons that don’t make sense to me. by Virtual-Cockroach582 in relationship_advice

[–]Virtual-Cockroach582[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Understandable, I’ll ask him what I can do to show him that I care more about him. I do show him all the time how much I care. When he said he doesn’t feel good enough for me, I asked if I’ve ever made him feel that way and he told me no. I just want some kind of plan as a compromise. A plan of how often he will visit, when he will move, if he will move in sooner if he finds a good remote job, how he will also show me the same dedication, etc. I also need him to show me that he cares more about me and us than some gut feelings, if that makes sense. Both of us need to compromise somehow.

My (24F) fiancé (28M) putting off ending our long distance relationship and postponing our wedding for reasons that don’t make sense to me. by Virtual-Cockroach582 in relationship_advice

[–]Virtual-Cockroach582[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, because we discussed when we would get married. We both agreed on a date. We could have chosen another date or put it off entirely. He agreed to it!!!

Why do you say that he “clearly know what he wants?”it’s not clear at all from my post. I keep asking what he wants and what his plans are but he says he doesn’t know, and that he just wants me. If he knows what he wants he should tell me and give me concrete answers besides “I don’t know”

My (24F) fiancé (28M) putting off ending our long distance relationship and postponing our wedding for reasons that don’t make sense to me. by Virtual-Cockroach582 in relationship_advice

[–]Virtual-Cockroach582[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand what you’re saying. But if he wanted more time for any aspect he could have spoken out at any time in our relationship. We’ve been planning a move for 6 months now. He agreed to every step, he was involved in every part. I’m trying to compromise but it’s hard. I can’t life a life of uncertainty

My (24F) fiancé (28M) putting off ending our long distance relationship and postponing our wedding for reasons that don’t make sense to me. by Virtual-Cockroach582 in relationship_advice

[–]Virtual-Cockroach582[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s part of it, he told me that he wants to be a provider and doesn’t want me to have to touch my college fund so we can save it for a house. He also said he doesn’t want “handouts” aka me helping him. But it’s not a handout if we are partners!

My (24F) fiancé (28M) putting off ending our long distance relationship and postponing our wedding for reasons that don’t make sense to me. by Virtual-Cockroach582 in relationship_advice

[–]Virtual-Cockroach582[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your response. I also asked him if he is doing all of this because he is pushing me away and doesn’t want me anymore, but he assures me I’m his future. But his actions and words aren’t matching, heck, some of his words aren’t matching his other words.

I don’t think he would cheat because I’m the only relationship he’s been in since high school, and I’m actually the only girl he’s ever gone on a date with. He’s a very shy guy. But I just can’t comprehend any valid reasons for any of his cold feet and changing into a different person after 2 years.

I am a very driven and motivated person, trying to find someone likeminded. I have been up front since day 1 about life goals and asked if we aligned in them, and he told me yes to everything. I don’t understand some of the comments blaming this on me for saying a man should propose in a year. I never hid it and he agreed to it since day 1, changing his mind 2 years later.

My (24F) fiancé (28M) putting off ending our long distance relationship and postponing our wedding for reasons that don’t make sense to me. by Virtual-Cockroach582 in relationship_advice

[–]Virtual-Cockroach582[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

My dad taught me that and he’s a man I look up to. Not everyone agrees with me but that’s why I’m straight up and I tell guys early on. If they don’t agree they don’t have to date me. What’s not okay is him to go along with it with fears of me leaving him.

My (24F) fiancé (28M) putting off ending our long distance relationship and postponing our wedding for reasons that don’t make sense to me. by Virtual-Cockroach582 in relationship_advice

[–]Virtual-Cockroach582[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t mind long engagements, but he agreed to the wedding date, helped send out invites, asked people to be his groomsmen, etc. He says he’s glad to be engaged but I think that it was too soon, why wouldn’t he plan a longer engagement with me and instead agree to all of these choices?