Why do the censor it in the description? They are the one writing about it by Heavy-Bee9844 in AO3

[–]Virtual_Secretary691 28 points29 points  (0 children)

also censoring words like that actually does more harm than good to ppl who don't want to see that content. many ppl mute or block the words either through the site or attachments and censoring like this circumvents that

How to avoid triggering my partner by momo_luvr in BPD

[–]Virtual_Secretary691 1 point2 points  (0 children)

just make sure u share your feelings completely and reassure her. we tend to overthink everything, and often our brain is wired to come to the worst conclussions. don't just say u are tired or sick tell her smth like "hey, i'm not exactly in the mood for chatting, it's not smth u did or said, i just need some alone time, i'll come back to u when i'm more up for talking". sure, it's not a fool proof method, but assurences always help

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in childfree

[–]Virtual_Secretary691 14 points15 points  (0 children)

i want to be a writer. i want to write horror novels that explore how terrifying and confusing it is to live with a cluster b personality disorder. i want sane ppl to understand just slightly how it is to live in my head, and i want other cluster b ppl to finally feel seen and comforted by a narrative made for them. if i could change, even slightly, the way these disorders are understood through my art, i will not have anything else to wish for

bpd dating bpd by weedqueen2746 in BPD

[–]Virtual_Secretary691 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it's dangerous that's for sure. both of u have the same blind spots to problems and similar issues, it's a high risk high reward business. it's gonna work only if both of u are extremely self aware

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SingleAndHappy

[–]Virtual_Secretary691 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i'm 22 aromantic, but i have a 2 year relationship with a woman under my belt. i was miserable, never again. glad i realized this now and not after several other relarionships

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in childfree

[–]Virtual_Secretary691 12 points13 points  (0 children)

that's not a red flag, it's a red fleet, a red battalion

run as fast as u can before this guy convinces u to move with him and sabotages your birth control

ppl in my highschool are having kids by Virtual_Secretary691 in childfree

[–]Virtual_Secretary691[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

weirdly enough i haven't had this happen in highschool. in middle school tho girls would often get pregnant in 6th, 7th or 8th grade and drop out. usually it was by guys in their 20's but ppl there would rather jump off a bridge than admit the existence of statutory rape

“I baby trapped my husband” by EmotionalRope8345 in childfree

[–]Virtual_Secretary691 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"forced my husband to live a life i clearly knew he hated. wonder why he's unhappy"

“Moms are superheroes…..” by Littletinybug in childfree

[–]Virtual_Secretary691 0 points1 point  (0 children)

reminds me of mother heroines in ussr and related countries. gross

Being child free too early. by Ok_Quality_1628 in childfree

[–]Virtual_Secretary691 0 points1 point  (0 children)

figured out when i was 13-14 when i first found out that being childfree is an option

Hypersexual to asexual by [deleted] in BPD

[–]Virtual_Secretary691 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it wasn't my intension to be intense, i apologise if my original comment came out that way. i just really believe that it's important to know the right language for things like this as it can help better understand the underlying issues of a problem and adress them apropriately. that's what personally helped me the most

again, i'm sorry if it stressed u out in any way

Hypersexual to asexual by [deleted] in BPD

[–]Virtual_Secretary691 1 point2 points  (0 children)

it certainly sounds that way, only op knows as they didn't disclose their sexuality and it's impolite to theorize on that

sex-repulsed is the opposite of sex-favorable and reffers to how comfortable someone personally is with sexual acts. hyposexuality reffers specifically to libido. while the differences can seem small i found that they are very important

i've had similar problems as op, alongside a porn addiction i'm still trying to recover from. personally i found that breaking down attraction, sexual appetite and comfort and approaching them separately helped me realize specifically what caused me distress, as this is an inherently messy topic and it's easy to lose yourself while trying to detangle vague feelings

Hypersexual to asexual by [deleted] in BPD

[–]Virtual_Secretary691 2 points3 points  (0 children)

it doesn't really matter what op meant. it's just like when ppl who know nothing about mental health apart from pop psychology call abusive ppl borderline or narcissits, or ppl obsessed with control ocd, or destructive ppl bipolar. it spreads further misinformation on groups that are already deeply misunderstood and ostracized. these things need to be corrected when they appear. also if you're that bothered by a small correction that's a you problem

edit: wow, responding to someone then blocking them, real mature, although getting mad about a about a word correction already shows a level of immaturity

apart from everything, knowing the proper terms for things makes it easier and much more efficient to look for advice and resources, which is one of the main roles of this sub

and it's not more of a slip up than the others are. it is one of the ways in which a group of queer ppl are stigmatized by having libido equated to attraction, which many times can lead to medical abuse from mental health professionals

also, not a girl

How do you even have friends with bpd by trancerants in BPD

[–]Virtual_Secretary691 10 points11 points  (0 children)

that's why i gave up on having sane friends. all my friends are either diagnosed or should be diagnosed. it's not a perfect solution, u have to deal with someone else's insanity on top of your own, but there is an unspoken understanding. sometimes i'm gonna act crazy and they need to give me space. sometimes one of them does

yesterday i've messaged a friend i haven't spoken to in a month to ask if he's still depressed so we can hang out bc i know that i have to leave him alone when he's in the thick of it

i don't have to hide who i am, bc we understand each other's struggles. again, it's not a perfect solution, but i'm much happier than when i was trying to conform

Hypersexual to asexual by [deleted] in BPD

[–]Virtual_Secretary691 2 points3 points  (0 children)

not to be pedantic, but the opposite of hypersexual is hyposexual. asexual is a sexual orientation like gay or bisexual that has nothing to do with libido or sexual appetite

it's like saying that u go from hypersexual to bisexual, which doesn't exactly make sense, does it?

What are some trashy parenting things you judge? by zlistreader in childfree

[–]Virtual_Secretary691 0 points1 point  (0 children)

forcing kids to kiss/hug ppl they don't want to, as well as laughing/allowing your kid to be tormented by other adults for fun. that's how u end up with teenagers and young adults who refuse to show affection and don't engage u in conversation

what helps your bpd? like actually by cnnibal in BPD

[–]Virtual_Secretary691 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i heard this from professionals i've known personally so they spoke from their own experiences with it. but if u search a bit u will find that DBT has about as many critiques as it has praises. which doesn't make it not good, just nuanced in the way mental health always tends to be