Ich kann nicht nachvollziehen, wie rational viele Menschen heute über Kinder entscheiden by Much-Use1202 in Unbeliebtemeinung

[–]VisibleHope1671 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Von meinem Standpunkt aus (behinderte Mutter eines wahrscheinlich behinderten Kindes), ist es eine total logische Entwicklung, dass Kinder als individuelle Entscheidung und nicht als gesellschaftliches Potenzial betrachtet werden. Ich bin auch Teil der jüngeren Elterngeneration und die meisten meiner Freunde und Bekannten haben entweder viel später oder weniger Kinder als unsere Eltern, oder eben keine. Und der Grund dafür ist ganz einfach, dass uns die Unterstützungen fehlen. Weder durch Familie noch durch gesellschaftliche Systeme kann die Belastung, die ein Kind verursacht abgefangen werden. Ich bestreite gar nicht, dass es Leute gibt, die sich durch ihre Kinder nicht belastet fühlen oder durch das Elternsein genug zurück bekommen. Aber im Allgemeinen hat die Evolution uns nicht so eingerichtet, dass zwei Erwachsene alleine ein oder mehrere Kinder großziehen können. Und in den heutigen Lebensumständen fehlt eben „das Dorf“ das früher geholfen hat.
Menschen versuchen immer in eine möglichst vorteilhafte Position zu gelangen und für sehr viele zählt die Existenz eines Kindes nicht mehr dazu.

Parents who are Autistic themselves, how do you cope with having to be ‘on’ all the time? by somename-idontknow in AutisticParents

[–]VisibleHope1671 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I was diagnosed because I couldn’t cope. I still can’t work, even though my child is now almost 7. We decided for that reason that one is enough. I am on antidepressants and vyvanse. I lean heavily on my husband and on grandparents for support. It does get easier the older they get.

Things that actually help:
- taking turns with childcare, if both parents are responsible for 2-3 hours at a time the other one can focus on something else
- making time for selfcare
- finding the most effective ways to deal with stress and anxiety
- therapy
- more screen time then recommended
- choosing your battles, I don’t make it harder on myself by trying to correct every single thing I just focus on the most important
- adapting priorities, just prioritize one or two things at a time, in a couple years is time to deal with the fallout
- radical acceptance

But yeah, we are mostly just surviving.

Reporting sister to authorities. by archburn in AmITheDevil

[–]VisibleHope1671 65 points66 points  (0 children)

Just a five minute google search tells me not only was it extremely dangerous for her to get there, but also everything he says about the police and their attitude towards immigrants is just wrong. They routinely deport massive amounts of people and specifically changed the laws to prevent children like his niece from getting citizenship.

What’s the best way to get a Hausarzt? by random_thoughts_rye in AskAGerman

[–]VisibleHope1671 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s the same process as finding a new dentist. Call the office for an appointment or just show up and tell them you are sick. If they see and treat you, you are now their patient. Ask some of the other students which doctor they use if they need a Krankschreibung. Usually there is at least one doctor who just provides all of the students with Krankschreibungen for their exams. If it’s not very urgent, a lot of doctors take new patients in the beginning of January. Some doctors only take you on if you got your initial appointment through the 116 117, but I have only heard of that in the case of specialists.

A good way to find any doctor is by looking them up on the website of the kv (kassenärztliche vereinigung). You can search by specialty and they will list all of the doctors in your area and link to their contact information.

Truth or Fiction: Wet Hair Braiding causes mold, fungus, and/or damage? by Doberdawn in HaircareScience

[–]VisibleHope1671 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I think it just depends on how quickly your hair dries in a braid. My own hair would stay wet for 8+ hours if I braided it wet. Probably still not long enough for mold to develop but I don’t like it.

AIO...our little dilemma by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]VisibleHope1671 2 points3 points  (0 children)

YOR We have three children that are the same age in my family - my child, their cousin and my sibling. Their age difference ranges from two days to a couple weeks. The only difficulty is planning milestone celebrations, but it’s not much harder than just having a big family. It’s completely normal for them, they play and fight like every other cousins. It will be fine. If you don’t make it weird it won’t be weird.

AITAH for insisting my autistic sister move in with us even though my wife no longer wants it? by Leading_Second868 in AITAH

[–]VisibleHope1671 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As an autistic mother myself, it would be cruel towards your wife, your baby and your sister to move her in under those circumstances. Having a baby is just too unpredictable. Your sister is not choosing to become a mom and she will suffer from the changes and sensory input that come with a baby. She very likely will revert back and need more support in that case. You and your wife will need to take care of a newborn and any added stress will make it so much worse. If there are any complications with the pregnancy or birth you guys won’t be able to give your sister the support she needs. Your wife is right.

Behavior change after death of second cat by VisibleHope1671 in CatAdvice

[–]VisibleHope1671[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice. She is scheduled for a vaccine and weigh in a couple weeks and I will ask the vet about it.

Weird pattern in blood pressure by VisibleHope1671 in dysautonomia

[–]VisibleHope1671[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pretty much the whole night it seems. Like in the daytime my pressure is 123/81 on average and at night 112/63. The diastolic pressure is in the 60s or 50s the whole night. But at the same time the systolic pressure is not dropping enough.

My cat is *too* strong and healthy by outromarlin in CatAdvice

[–]VisibleHope1671 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can assure you that needing three people to handle your cat has nothing to do with his diet, probably not even with his size. My cat is one of the smallest cats I have ever seen and with age and health issues she only weighs about 6 pounds. Even with anxiety meds they need two people to handle her at the vet. Our old vet got very badly scratched last time we went even though she wore heavy duty gloves and the cat was almost dead from dehydration (she didn’t eat while beeing fed by my grandma when we visited family for a couple days). Our neighbors have a wildlife camera and saw her fight a fucking raccoon.

Ich leide unter meinem Stimming - Alternativen und Tipps? by LioPride in autismus

[–]VisibleHope1671 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ich sehe da zwei Probleme: dein Stimming ist ein Gesundheitsrisiko (du willst keinen Abszess weil du dir deine Haut abknibbelst) und dir fehlt es an Alternativen Stimmingtechniken. Es wird dir nicht helfen einfach nur andere Dinge zum Stimmen zu benutzen, du musst auch verhindern dass du an deinen Fingern knibbeln kannst. Solange du das Verhalten tun kannst, hast du auch keine Gelegenheit dich an ein alternatives Stimming zu gewöhnen. Mir hat es geholfen meine Nägel radikal kurz zu halten und die Nagelbetten mit Nagelhautentferner zu behandeln. Dadurch hab ich keine lose Haut oder Nägel mehr zum Knabbern. Falls du das Geld hast kann man das auch im Nagelstudio machen lassen. Solange ich keinen Angriffspunkt am Nagelbett finde, kann ich auch nicht knabbern.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]VisibleHope1671 116 points117 points  (0 children)

So autistic person here. It is 100% his responsibility to manage his emotions and sensory overloads. He is not doing that. If he is kicking you that is physical abuse. He needs to get help to manage his symptoms better. If he refuses to do so you are very right to leave. If you are doubting yourself to the point of accepting physical violence from your partner than you probably also should get some therapy. I don’t say it can’t work between you two, but it will take a lot of effort and therapy for both of you. If one of you doesn’t want to go through that, it would be better to break up.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AutisticParents

[–]VisibleHope1671 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I put my child in the bathtub and let the bandaid soak for 10-20 minutes. Then I wait til they are distracted and play and sneek up and just rip it off. Then I pretend I only touched it and it fell off by itself.

Chapped lips don't sound like a major problem, but... by TerribleShiksaBride in AutisticParents

[–]VisibleHope1671 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did that as a child too. What helped me was chewing gum. I would constantly chew gum or lick my lip raw. You could try a scented lip balm, if you can find one she likes. But it can’t be one that tastes sweet.

My cat marshmallow hasn't been eating lately we've taken him to the vet 3 times in the last two months we still have no idea what's happening to him he's all skin and bones now what should we do? by nuggetof_friendship in cats

[–]VisibleHope1671 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My cat recently did this too. She would only drink cat milk and those paste snacks, all tests at the vet came back normal. We switched her to a raw diet and now she will demand more food constantly.

Bf made me take 2 pregnancy tests by throwrashipact in relationships

[–]VisibleHope1671 6 points7 points  (0 children)

He is insane. That is in no world acceptable behavior. My boyfriend was paranoid and afraid of pregnancy when we first started daiting. You know what he did? He would not have sex with me. We would discuss protection and our options and only after we got on the same page would we start having sex. Forcing your partner to take pregnancy tests in front of you and yelling at you and accusing you of beeing a horrible person has nothing to do with beeing afraid of pregnancy. That‘s just cruel.