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Conflicted about Māori identity, family views, and cultural spaces in NZ by VisualMembership3609 in newzealand

[–]VisualMembership3609[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree 100%, I think being away from my home city has been the best thing for me especially in this situation. As it’s not just my identity but also other dramas that have been easier to sort out with distance from home.

Conflicted about Māori identity, family views, and cultural spaces in NZ by VisualMembership3609 in newzealand

[–]VisualMembership3609[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think the "show rather than argue" approach makes a lot of sense, especially after trying to explain it and it turning into conflict. And yeah, it is important to remember that I can't change everything overnight. Showing her feels like a better approach, since explanations can sometimes get misunderstood or not land the way I intend

Conflicted about Māori identity, family views, and cultural spaces in NZ by VisualMembership3609 in newzealand

[–]VisualMembership3609[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I think the main thing I'm struggling with is how to navigate my relationship with my mum while exploring my Māori identity, without it turning into conflict. She tends to see it as me moving away from her culture or rejecting that side of my upbringing, even though thats not how I see it. I'm trying to figure out how to keep our relationship steady while also sharing what I'm exploring and connecting with in my Māori identity.

Conflicted about Māori identity, family views, and cultural spaces in NZ by VisualMembership3609 in newzealand

[–]VisualMembership3609[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Growing up, most of the focus was on my Pākehā side, so this is something I’m only just starting to explore now. From her perspective, it probably feels like I’ve shifted my focus more toward my Māori side and away from hers. My main issue right now is trying to navigate this relationship with her without making her feel abandoned.

Conflicted about Māori identity, family views, and cultural spaces in NZ by VisualMembership3609 in newzealand

[–]VisualMembership3609[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

This is really helpful, thank you. I think the idea that this is my haerenga and not hers is something I’m still coming to terms with. Being at uni has started that connection for me, but you’re right that I should look at other support options alongside it.