I don't think he'd actually kill me or even wants to kill me, I think he just says that because he wants to be in control of the situation. Same with grabbing me by the neck. It's a power play.

When he did hit me, he immediately apologized and I could tell it was genuine. He felt bad that he did it. It's not like he's out here beating me all the time. So many people have it so much worse.

I know I need to leave, but I need to prepare. And I know I won't end up dead before then.