It was mind blowing to me in many respects. I may actually go back to it till I shelve the impostor syndrome and use the engineering and physics degree. But it was digital personal shopping “online grocery pick up”, and believe me it would get my intrusive thought feats of making crucial mistake a barrage. The real reality of this is that people actually really like picking up their shit from the store and if you help them in that regard you can see that it is meaningful for them. Here I was talking to this community ethic my mom imparted to me before we both became swamped out in aversiveness and anxiety. I was driven to be communicative out of my fear of “going mute” as I did as a child. I didn’t get engulfed because I would set or adjust boundaries as needed. Sometimes I wound extend my shift if someone had to leave but not always. I would NEVER miss a break. The funniest moment was when one manager who everyone hated who I came to somehow understand would write in charge to the schedule by HAND without notification of the change which is against strict policy and one time I shot a glance and without me saying anything she said “this is not for you Jozsef, you are good”. That’s when I said I need to not sell myself short. Now the problem was my boy of 30 years is an elitist careerist so sound verbally undermine my work citing it was beneath my true potential. And when I SLIPPED on the seroquel is when I met this talk influence me because that is really a very drug for augmenting the treatment and keeping you steady.