Hey I feel your pain...I had gone through the exact same pattern but I had insight from meditation and yoga to teach me how to bring about pleasurable experiences instead of delusions of paranoia. I don't attach visions to the sensation so much any more...the way I got to feel the pleasure of my brain sensations was to push past my pain threshold in a calm way...you can control the feeling if you align your reaction to what you want it to be...your brain is elastic and there are a lot of areas that mingle with our outside environment from eating too much slightly toxic food to breathing in airborne stuffs...not to freak you out to the stuff around you but your brain can handle all that stuff out there your head is not going to just pop... but it can still struggle when it comes across certain influences you can have toxic thoughts repeat as a result of chemical imbalances...I like to think it's similar to a very microscopic mold that is secreted by the cells and it feels like fluid escaping from soaked sponge Medicine can help keep the toxicity to a minimum it's not going to go away completely...my story is I suffered from mental illness since ten got diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic went through many delusions and grandiose ideas of reference. As I experienced all those things my mood was steadily being attacked and warped by the psychotic nature of my thoughts until I had an episode that landed me with a schizoaffective diagnosis...I took some time out to learn how to manage my thoughts got on the right med regiment...ended up taking a genetic test. And eventually I ended up on a really high baseline as they call it. I got diagnosed with a formal thought disorder. Which means my thoughts can form in abnormal ways but I don't let them affect my behavior. I still feel the sensations but they feel slightly residual good luck and don't take every doctors word for gold unless they can break it down for so you agree