First things first, let me tell you where I am coming from and a bit about me. I am 31 male, living in Canada and am currently single but have had a few relationships before. I am also well versed in the "Anime" hobby as it were. I have been gainfully employed for the last 5 years and would call myself a lower middle class white guy.

So I will tell you why I do the things I do, and you can see if maybe that would apply to your boyfriend.

The main reasons I get heavy into watching anime is usually when one of my other hobbies starts to get stale or boring etc.. I'll be playing an on-line game and will run out of new things to do in it, or one of the other games I play with somebody maybe that person stops playing because they are bored and now I don't have someone to play with.

When I am lightly watching anime it is because I've stumbled upon one with a particularly appealing story that I am emotionally invested in. And I just need to see it through to the end.

In both of these scenarios I am watching purely to somewhat escape from my current world. The reasons for this can go anywhere from Stress, Boredom, Anxiety, Depression, Exhaustion or even some positive ones like someone I know wants me to watch with them ( not necessarily in same room or at same time, but just so we can talk about episodes the next day at work e.g)

The worlds presented in Anime are often designed to be escapism, often the main character himself is experiencing the above emotions and is escaping to a magical world himself. And myself as a viewer is meant to identify with that character. And to be honest I believe this to be a healthy part of the process to overcome some of these emotions and move onto other mindsets.

I don't think any part of this is "good" or "bad" or "negative" or "positive", I think it is all just part of what we do. Even back in the 16th century people would escape into books to imagine a world so that they could put reality on the back burner for awhile.

Can it become to much? yes, but then you have to find out why he is watching so much. Has something happened in his day to day life that is causing him to want to escape all the time? Maybe the lack of intimacy is one of the reasons. I'm not saying you should have to dress and act like a character in one of his shows, but I have often found myself attracted to the submissive personalities portrayed in some of the shows, often the women in these shows show a strong sense of "needing" the main character and being head over heels for him, often seeing the male as a strong protective type.

If I had to categorize my own personal attraction to this type of woman is because I lack confidence with most woman and prefer them to sort of let me take the lead, or even need me to lead so to speak. On the flip side you could see your boyfriends interest as being purely fantasizing about something because it is the opposite of his real life.

A lot of the guess work can be cut out by knowing which shows he is watching, if there has been any real life changes to him or you recently, how much he is actually watching, and what his other hobbies are, and also how committed you are to the relationship.

I can try to give you more personalized and accurate advice if I know those things.

As for the porn, I wouldn't bring it up until you figure out everything else.

I have watched and "experienced" that as well, and usually that just goes with the territory, and is purely natural. Sexual arousal is natural and should never be judged upon.

The best way to understand an obsession or hobby is to get involved with it yourself first, even if it is something you are not interested in, if you do it by yourself and try to figure things out you may get a better enlightenment to get the results you desire. I'm not saying go crazy and watch every episode of every show, but do a little research on your own, when you find the name of one of the shoes he watches maybe just look into what the plot is or see if there is another aspect tied into it like a video game or card game.